|Index||10 reviews in total|
I've seen some classic shot-on-video movies from the 80's, such as
Blood Cult, Dreamaniac, Boardinghouse, GoreMet Zombie Chef From Hell,
Cannibal Campout, 555, etc. All these movies in which could have some
laughable entertainment value and noticeable effort to make a film on
literally a zero budget. But then we have Death Nurse.
This movie, well, why even call this a movie? There was no effort put into making this mess. like the previous reviewer has stated, it seems they had filmed this film and ripped the tape right out of the camcorder and thats exactly how it feels. The editing must've been done on two VCRs, and a good 15 minutes of the film are clips from the Directors previous film, Criminally Insane, keep in mind this movie is only about 55 minutes long, not even a full length movie. Its quite obvious that this film was made to fill the box art it came in.
The only reason to watch this film is for the learning experience on how low cinema could go just to cash in a buck. This is absolutely the lowest your going to find. I once thought that Blood Lake was the worse, well, Death Nurse takes the cake.
This is one of those very poorly made,straight to VHS movies from the
80s.I don't know where to begin with this.Well we have two
siblings.Edith and Gordon. Edith is a nurse and Gordon is a doctor.They
open this clinic (and it doesn't even look like one I might add) and we
find out that they kill the patients for their health care and
money.The movie is about 60 minutes in length.
This movie is just awful. The acting is really bad,the quality is bad.And when they transfer it,a frame can get stuck and it makes it look really bad.Plus,they extend scenes for way too long.For example,Gordon digging a whole takes almost two or three full minutes then it cuts to him eating ice cream.Not to mention that the actors are all from Nick Millard's other movies like Criminally Insane.So a third of the movie is nothing but clips and scenes from Criminally Insane,and we're suppost to believe that these are Edith's dreams.
Just stay away from this movie.
The movie starts out with Priscilla Alden playing as Edith, who works
as a nurse, lives with her brother in a suburban house. They kill new
patients to keep up the bill for their state care. Okay, the plot is
decent, but that's the only good thing about the film. Alden also has a
nice creepy laugh.
I was very disappointed by this film. It's simply one of Nick's worst movies, and I felt like I got the biggest b*tch slap in the face. I mean what happened? This film is so incredibly boring that I couldn't get along with the plot any longer. The opening and ending titles, this movie doesn't have any. It's only footage that he ripped from Criminally Insane. There is very little gore, and very little kills. The whole movie itself is poorly edited, there isn't any originality into the sets, the sets were only re-used from Satan's Black Wedding for this movie. Nick, what were you thinking? It doesn't take this much to make a simple horror movie. You put effort on your other movies, they had nice quality, good sound, and it looked it you took time to make those movies. This looks like some crappy home video you and your family recorded, put it together with two VHS's, and sold it off as a "horror" film. Not even I would enjoy it.
nick millard's 1987 sov slasher, death nurse, is a movie about a
overweight nurse and his brother, who has this clinic where they take
care of people, but what people don't know, that the nurse is a
rampaging murderer with the thirst for blood to keep up their bills.
now may i want to ask, why do i hate this movie so much other than it's a shot on a camcorder movie? nothing literally happens at death nurse! it's poorly edited, it has absolutely no soundtrack, no good special effects, and you know what's the worst part? this film is supposed to be taken seriously.
death nurse is a movie so bad it's funny, but not funny bad, it's awful. we never get to see the actual characters get a little touch by a plastic meat cleaver, the results end for one second or probably zero, the sounds always cut off, that's how bad the editing is! don't get me to the acting either, they're not even trying to act, they're not trying to even try at all, there's too many scenes of the nurse having nightmares of this other character which is not edith from criminally insane, and many other footage that has nothing to do with the plot! f*ck this movie! the term "worst movie ever" isn't enough to describe this poor effort. nothing can. only a s*it brown would.
This movie was horrible. It looked like bad porn! It was supposedly shot
by the same party behind CRIMINALLY INSANE, but compared to that tarnished
little jewel, this film is utter and complete trash. Unedited,
and un-acted, this piece of VHS video was obviously ripped clean out of
camcorder and thrown onto video store shelves without even the most
rudimentary post-production tinkering.
The film supposedly takes place in a state-run "clinic," although the viewer soon wonders why the state would refer patients to a tacky tract house with cottage cheese ceilings and bad wood paneling.
Terrible. Simply terrible. And disappointing, too. Quite sad, actually. I'm crying right now because of this film. That's how bad it was.
This was not a real film. This was a home movie.
You know how in most god-awful B-movies, directors try (and usually
fail) to come up with some kind of creative solution when they can't
find the location or prop they're looking for? A boiler room can double
as a prison, a school classroom can fill in for a police station, an
ambulance can just be the production van after a quick paint-job: it's
a lot of work, but it seems like one of the perks of low-budget
filmmaking. "Death Nurse" director Nick Millard however takes the bold
decision of simply not giving a damn. His screenplay requires some kind
of clinic but screw it, his dilapidated house will probably be fine.
I'm not sure which state this is set in, but please don't get sick over
there. Whether you're an alcoholic, a terminal tuberculosis patient
(who, I kid you not, is walked to the clinic) or a woman whose illness
is never explained and probably just doesn't have a bed at home, you'll
always be sent to some dirty, rat-infested house in the suburbs with
just one doctor and one nurse (a death nurse at that). Oh yeah, that
clinic whose patients without any exception are never seen again and
where they call a regular kitchen knife a scalpel: if those people
can't help out, who can?
Nick Millard is an incessantly intriguing filmmaker because he takes not caring to such a bizarre level: his only goal is to fill an hour of videotape, and he's not keen on hiding it. Almost a third of this movie is stock footage from Millard's earlier (and much better) work "Criminally Insane", but it's not even really stock footage: he literally just plays the movie on his TV and films the screen. Even with just forty minutes of new footage, the padding keeps on coming. Death nurse makes tea, the doctor digs a hole and then makes himself a sundae, that doesn't need to be shown in real time for an audience to understand but Millard takes no chances. Then suddenly, an hour of your life has vanished and you get the most ridiculous non-ending you've ever seen...thank God you also have "Death Nurse 2". Nick Millard is one hell of a drug.
I didn't even know this movie existed until recently and now that I've seen it, I know why! What a horrible, hideous, god-awful waste of time and effort this one is! Just like it's predecessor "Crazy Fat Ethel 2" "Death Nurse" is shot on video. It is also a pseudo-sequel to "Criminally Insane". Talk about milking a story to death! Obviously Nick Millard aka Nick Phillips was totally devoid of all thoughts and ideas at this point and simply decided to recycle the same old lousy story for a third time. To make matters even worse, he put even less effort into this "film" (and I use that term loosely) than in the previous sequel. Once again we get recycled, crappy footage from "Criminally Insane" and a rapidly aging Priscilla Alden cast in the lead. The storyline in this 'film' is not even remotely related to that of "Criminally Insane" and Priscilla Alden's character has a name change which makes all of the footage from "Criminally Insane" seem awkwardly out of place. There is nothing about this "film" that makes any sense and I really do not get the point of wasting time making it!
Good old Nick Millard, with his tiny, tiny budgets and crude lack of
filmmaking finesse. He once again gives us a true groaner that somewhat
entertains the viewer, if only because it's just so damn awful.
Granted, the feeling that writer / director Millard does seem to have
his tongue in his cheek helps to a degree, but that doesn't change the
fact that this is just plain bad, bad, bad. The bargain basement gore
is fun in its mind blowing tackiness, as is the acting that is
phenomenally putrid right across the board.
Millard re-teams with his "Criminally Insane" lead Priscilla Alden, who here plays Edith Mortley, a sadistic nurse who works with her "doctor" brother Gordon (Albert Eskinazi) at a clinic which they run out of their suburban home. They're psychos AND they're scam artists, continuing to bill the state even after they've butchered their patients. Their trouble truly begins when the nosey Faith Chandler (Frances Millard, a. k. a. Nicks' mom) begins to poke around.
You can see that Nick knows damn well that he doesn't even have ONE hours' worth of story here, so he pads and pads the running time (even so, this only runs 58 minutes!) with archive footage from "Criminally Insane". Some of it is even used more than once. This is supposed to represent the dreams of the Edith character.
This is a singularly untalented cast, the kind that truly does make you want to look away. Millard also casts his wife Irmgard as the alcoholic, lusty patient Louise and even plays a part himself, that of the very ill Mr. Davis. Alden, at the least, does seem to be having fun.
"Death Nurse" is going to come off as a major waste of time to most people, even in light of its brief running time, but if you're anything like this viewer, its complete ineptitude should strike you as hilarious often enough to make this tolerable.
Five out of 10.
Death Nurse (1987)
BOMB (out of 4)
Edith (Priscilla Alden) and her brother Gordon (Albert Eskinazi) work in their house as "doctors" but in reality they're just nuts who welcome in patients so that they can brutally kill them. They welcome in a man and kill him quickly but his annoying "keeper" continues to check in on him, which causes a problem for the doctors.
Director Nick Millard and star Alden hit exploitation gold with CRIMINALLY INSANE. That ultra low-budget movie just had something about it that appealed to drive-in fans such as myself but he followed that up in 1987 with a horrid sequel. That sequel was about forty minutes worth of footage from the original movie and twenty minutes worth of new scenes. DEATH NURSE is considered the unofficial third film in the series since it does feature the same director, star and sets but I think it plays out better as its own film. The problem is that it features a lot of stock footage from CRIMINALLY INSANE.
You know, I admire people who go out there and make movies no matter of their quality. I review movies as a passion but even the worst movie ever made deserves more "credit" than someone like me who simply watches them and talks about them. DEATH NURSE is a really awful movie on so many levels but I guess this should be expected. The special effects are bad. The music and cinematography are bad. The editing is bad. Everything is pretty bad here and what's worse is the fact that so much stock footage is used.
The good old days of VHS stores had countless movies like this on the store shelves. I actually found CRIMINALLY INSANE to be entertaining but this film here is just really, really bad.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Murderous heavyset nurse Edith Mortley (a deliciously wicked portrayal
by Priscilla Alden) and her quack doctor brother Gordon (a perfectly
jerky turn by Albert Eskinazi) run a medical clinic out of a suburban
home. Although the deadly duo kill their patients, they nonetheless
continue to bill the state for their care.
Man, does this choice chunk of celluloid excrement possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkbomb: We've got ham-fisted (mis)direction from Millard, a plodding pace, lots of tedious filler (for example, Gordon spends what seems like an agonizing eternity making and eating an ice cream sundae), strained attempts at dark humor, crude and unconvincing gore, slapdash editing, static and muddy cinematography, zero tension or creepy atmosphere, flatly staged murder set pieces, a meandering narrative, an absurdly abrupt non-ending, and even copious footage from Millard's previous magnum opus "Criminally Insane." Nick himself has a small part as sickly and coughing tuberculosis sufferer John Davis, his wife Irmgard plays pathetic alcoholic Louise Kagel, and that's Nick's dear old mom Frances as pesky health official Faith Chandler. A hilariously horrendous hoot and a half.
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