Cyclone (1987)

Rick has devoloped the ultimate mototcycle, the Cyclone. It is a $5 million bike equipped with rocket launchers and laser guns. Rick meets his fate and it is up to his girlfriend Teri to ... See full summary »

Director:

Fred Olen Ray

Writers:

Paul Garson (screenplay), T.L. Lankford (additional material),

Stars:

Heather Thomas, Jeffrey Combs, Ashley Ferrare

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Heather Thomas	...	Teri Marshall
Jeffrey Combs	...	Rick Davenport
Ashley Ferrare	...	Carla Hastings
Dar Robinson	...	Rolf
Martine Beswick	...	Waters (as Martine Beswicke)
Robert Quarry	...	Knowles
Martin Landau	...	Bosarian
Huntz Hall	...	Long John
Troy Donahue	...	Bob Jenkins
Michael Reagan	...	McCordy
Tim Conway Jr.	...	Barrell
Dawn Wildsmith	...	Hanna
Bruce Fairbairn	...	Lt. Cutter
Sam Hiona	...	Buyer
John Stewart	...	Scruffy #1

Storyline

Rick has devoloped the ultimate mototcycle, the Cyclone. It is a $5 million bike equipped with rocket launchers and laser guns. Rick meets his fate and it is up to his girlfriend Teri to keep the Cyclone from falling into the wrong hands. Teri can trust no one but herself.

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Plot Keywords:

torture | showdown | murder | battery charger | crossbow | 

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Taglines:

The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine.

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Genres:

Action | Sci-Fi | Drama

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Certificate:

R

Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

5 June 1987 (USA)

Also Known As:

Cyclone - A Máquina Fantástica

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company Credits

Production Co:

Cinetel Films

Technical Specs

Runtime:

89 min

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Color:

Color

Did You Know?

Goofs

When the woman driving the topless station wagon chases Teri, she is talking to her male helper in the passenger seat, but her lips don't move in sync with the audio.

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Quotes

Teri Marshall: You're as plastic as your tits!

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Crazy Credits

This film is dedicated to the memory of Dar Allen Robinson.

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Soundtracks

"Sputnik Liks"
Music by Shawna Wright, Anthony Riparetti and James Saad

User Reviews

So bad. So wonderfully, wonderfully bad.

Rarely does one find a movie so bad that it achieves the often-sought paradigm of having so little redeeming value that that alone makes it worth watching. "Cyclone," I am happy to report, is such a film.

I knew I was in for something good as soon as I found the videotape. I am at least its fourth owner: It has a "Used Movie Sale! $9.95" sticker on the front, and a yard-sale sticker for one dollar. I picked it up at a thrift store for fifty cents.

The Used Movie Sale! sticker covers much of the front cover artwork, meaning that what I see is a truly odd blended still of the front of the Cyclone super bike, a car flipping over on fire, and Heather Thomas, wearing Flouncy Eighties Hair with her mouth open in an expression that says, "I 'ave a 'ooth ache." I saw that and thought, "All RIGHT." The case, honestly, was enough ("with nowhere to turn and no one to trust, Teri is plunged headlong into a maze of danger and deceit"), but I surprised myself by actually getting around to watching it. I always make time for the really bad films. That "Fight Club" tape can wait.

Meet Teri. Teri is a stunningly well-crafted character, as we can tell from her introduction, in which she and her friend do exercises that highlight her breasts and, later, her legwarmers. Then Teri goes off to hook up with her boyfriend for the evening that goes horribly wrong. Before she knows it, Teri is driven "straight into a web of deadly double-crosses in CYCLONE." The VHS box tells it like it is.

Left out of the box summary - perhaps out of some faint hope that actual copies of this film would be sold - is how awful the acting is. It might have been just me, but I kept thinking I could read the characters' thoughts through their eyes. "This is dumb," thinks Heather Thomas. "I know," thinks Bad Guy with Too-Wide Mouth.

A driving force (no pun intended) for the second half of this epic picture are the car chases. Those were actually pretty good, although I'm inclined that gasoline doesn't need coaching on how to explode. What really impressed me is that, in all the chases, the streets were pretty much empty. It's like there are only twenty people in this huge city.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Gee Wilikers! I have to see this movie!" The sad thing, though, is that you can't find it. Oh no. "Cyclone" is a film that finds YOU. Just wait. Some day - perhaps during lunch, perhaps late in the evening, perhaps "when military scientist Jeffery Combs ('Re-Animator')is murdered by hired assassins"

• you will hear the rustle of legwarmers, and know that it is time.