With Al and Peggy away for a family reunion with her family in Wanker County, Wisconsin (where everyone's last name is Wanker and is relative), Bud lets Kelly have the house for Saturday night. When her date accidentally destroys the family couch, Kelly must travel to the far corners of Illinois to find the crazed, hermit-like, former maker of the couch to ask for a replacement before her parents come home.
On Al's 45th birthday, Peggy decides to give him a sexy photo of herself to hang in the shoe store. But the photographer decides to hang it in a huge blow up version of the same photo on a giant billboard in the mall outside the store. Naturally, this cannot be tolerated so Al enlists the help of Marcy's feminist group FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys), NO MA'AM's rival counterpart, to destroy the offending image. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud can't seem to get the right gift for Al.
The Bundy's and Darcy's engage in a full-fledged, take-no-prisoners, scorched-earth feud over who has rights to the apple in the back yard. It's a bit of a moot point since Jefferson already ate it. But several pseudo-celebrities turn up in a vain effort to settle the dispute.
Al battles other husbands at a store for last-minute Valentine's Day shoppers. Meanwhile, Bud gets physically and sexually abused when trying to find in a hotel his long-lost valentine girl, who is now a famous pop star.
When Al decides to sell his old car, the people at the Dodge Corporation inform him that if he can get his Dodge's odometer up to all 9's, the car will take part in a commercial, breaking the 1,000,000 miles and Al will be awarded a brand Dodge Viper. But can Al and his Dodge survive 24 hours until the film crew can arrive? Meanwhile, Bud sends the dim-witted Kelly out to find "Waldo."
Al opposes the proposed destruction of his old high school football field to build a new auto plant (initiated by Marcy and Kyoto Bank) by chaining himself to the goalpost. Meanwhile, Buck and Bud suffer from unusual side effects after Kelly the Verminator sprays them with a new pesticide called "Springtime in Baghdad."
Jefferson reveals his secret past to Marcy when he tells her that he is a ex-CIA spy in a witness relocation program. Meanwhile, Al gets conflicting emotions when he is offered a $50,000 reward by a certain Walter Traugott, a shady thug who is looking for Jefferson. Elsewhere, Peggy has a toothache from a broken tooth, and Kelly and Bud dress up as bums at the mall to acquire more cash for themselves.
While Al is busy at the shoe store with his new temp, Dexter, Peggy must coerce Al into an act over the phone to win a prize on a radio call-in show hosted by Rick Dees. One act for Al is to come home to have a nooner with Peggy. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud wait in line in the mall outside the shoe store for rock concert tickets.
Al opposes a forced car pooling until he learns that three lingerie models are in the group. But Al realizes the models are full-figured. Al and his group are then chosen to promote a campaign by the local health board to appear in commercial advertisements to clean up over polluted Chicago. But when Al and the ladies are asked to picket outside a chemical plant where Kelly works as the Verminator spokes model, Al must decide whether or not to help close down the plant and make Kelly lose her job, or give up his fame and fortune. Meanwhile, no one seems to care after ...
When another complaint from a fat woman at the shoe store results in Al losing his parking space and being reprimanded not to insult anymore fat women, he, Jefferson and the rest of his mens club NO MA'AM seek out a legendary guru macho man to teach them how to battle political correctness. Meanwhile, Peggy, Kelly and Bud hide a secret refrigerator full of food from Al.
Al rushes to finish fixing the basement step before his favorite movie, "Hondo" comes on TV. But, in an attempt to get some new batteries for his flashlight, he finds himself locked inside the store. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly attempt to celebrate Buck's birthday, much to Buck's dismay.
Using their tax refund money, Jefferson and Al bet heavily on a college football game that they are guaranteed to win. But that's before Trumaine's prized, not-so-bright quarterback Chad, who is being tutored by Bud, falls in love with Kelly, whom she pleasantly distracts from his training. Al must find a way to keep them apart at all costs after he finds out that other shady parties have also bet heavily on the game as well.
When the Bundy TV set blows its condenser, Al decides to try out for a place on a new sports trivia game show, hoping to win a new TV set as the first prize. But when he is denied because of his lack of personality, Al tries to transfer his knowledge of sports to Kelly to win the show for him. But for each fact that she takes in, another falls out.
Kelly has a big zit on the day of her commercial, Ice Beer and Peg offers her a solution. Her uncle Sticky Wanker's zit removing potion will cure it. Al is ecstatic of her being in the commercial, despite his upset over not having tapes of Emma Peel. The Home Shopping Network offered him a compromise, endless first edition volumes of The Three Stooges, which he also loves. His real problem is with Marcy and her feminist group. They recently filed a lawsuit against Ice Beer for not hiring average and unattractive women. It goes nowhere as the jury ruled with the ...
Bud's intense studying for a scholarship exam makes him periodically nod off and fantasize about making out with beautiful women. So, is a passionate encounter between him and Marcy's visiting, sexually aggressive, 19-year-old niece, Amber, a dream or real?
Bud's community service assignment for college is the one he is least suited for: consulting virgins on the brink of temptation, while he has to wrestle with temptation himself when he has to go to one's house to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy go to the video store to find a movie they both can watch together.
Jefferson learns that the Barbie doll he bought for Marcy on her birthday at an auction is worth a small fortune of $50,000. So he asks Al a big favor: sleep next to Marcy for the night while he goes out to exchange dolls. In return, Al gets to keep a prized first addition of the magazine "Big Uns" that he bought at the auction with Jefferson's money.
After the funeral of a former football teammate at the Bullpen Sports Bar, an old rival, named Jack Franklin, challenges Al and his former team from Polk High into a grudge football match between them. But Al ends up being turned into a tackling dummy by ringers Bubba Smith, Laurence Taylor, Ken Stabler and John Reynolds on the opposing team.
Al launches his group NO MA'AM in a protest outside the local TV station after Marcy's group FANG gets NO MA'AM's favorite TV show "Psycho Dad" canceled. But in a blizzard, no one takes notice. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud try to convince Al to have them throw a house party for their friends.
Al and his friends from NO MA'AM who include Griff, Officer Dan, Ike and Bob Rooney travel to Washington D.C. where thanks to Jefferson's pull, being a former CIA agent, Al and the group gets to address the U.S. Senate about Psycho Dad being put back on the air.