When starting a baseball card collection, Al and Steve sell Marcy's old Barbie doll. They must get it back, but they learn the shop they sold it to was robbed, so they would have to search downtown Chicago and ask every bum on the street.
Al, under the impression that you don't have to pay for anything you didn't order, takes Peggy and Bud on a wild spending spree, and goes with Peggy to a fancy hotel for a weekend getaway when the mailman accidentally leaves a new credit card addressed to Buck the dog.
On Valentines Day, Kelly hauls in a load of Valentines, while Steve plans to give Marcy a trip to Hawaii. When Marcy finds out from Peggy, she plans to give Steve his Valentine present by jumping out of a life-size cake. Meanwhile, Bud holds a vigil by the mailbox waiting for his first Valentine, while Peggy ponders over the decision on whether or not she'll get the gift she wants from Al for him to say "I Love You."
While secretly going through Steve and Marcy's mail, Al and Peggy fill out an application to a TV game show called "How Do I Love Thee" where the objective is a Bundy natural: surviving physical torture from one's spouse. Al and Peggy appear on the show pretending to be Steve and Marcy and they easily win many prizes. But when Steve and Marcy find out, they appear at the end of the show pretending to be Al and Peggy, and the husband that survives the most torture in an electric chair wins a new car.
After going with Steve to the racetrack, Al is reluctant to reveal that he won $1,200, because he knows that Peggy and the kids will take the money for themselves. While Al tries to throw off Peggy's suspicions with sex, Steve asks for increasingly exuberant bribes of Al's racetrack winnings so he will keep his mouth shut about the money.
Al's quiet three-day weekend plans to watch his favorite John Wayne movie "Hondo" are ruined when Peggy's eccentric relatives come to visit the Bundy household. They include her unseen, obese mother, two feuding uncles; the hulking Irwin and the effeminate Otto, as well as a singing and dancing triplet of aunts whose showbiz career is threatened by Al's bad advice to them. Al then interrupts and ruins a romantic evening between Steve and Marcy to confide with his problems.
A young football player, named Matt, from Polk High where Kelly and Bud go to school is threatening two Bundy records. One held by Al for the most touchdowns in one season, and the other by Kelly for refusing her advances. So, Kelly resorts to becoming a cheerleader for Polk High's team in order to catch Matt's attention during a big season ending game.
The Rhoades and the Bundys head out to the Rhoades cabin in the woods, but the merriment is halted by Kely's PMS. The men leave for a bit to go out fishing, and return to all three women menstruating and hostile. When a bear attacks the car, Al hilariously attempts to stop him.