The US needs to convince the visiting emir Khala'ad of Othar to allow an American military base in his strategic realm. Clueless nightclub waitress Sunny Ann Davis accidentally spots and ... See full summary »
Set in 1969, a twelve-year-old grows up in Key West with his mother, who is paying the bills by stripping at the local topless bar. The boy finds out about her activities and tries to ... See full summary »
Due to NCAA sanctions, the Texas State University Fightin' Armadillos must form a football team from their actual student body, with no scholarships to help, to play their football schedule... See full summary »
When a professional couple who have lived & worked together for many years finally decide to marry, their sudden betrothal causes many unexpectedly funny and awkward difficulties. They soon... See full summary »
Molly is a high school track coach who knows just as much about football as anyone else on the planet. When the football coach's position becomes vacant, she applies for the job, despite expecting sniggers from fellow staff members and her former husband. Written by
Murray Chapman <firstname.lastname@example.org>
The trailer for "Wildcats" showed 3 ghetto-riffic cheerleaders stomping around a pile of dirt and chanting, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY! What-what! Yo' mama says you ugly!"
Okay, you got me. I'm there.
Ha-ha low-brow highlights include--
* Goldie Hawn's purple-headed teenage daughter gets sloshed at a team party. Wesley Snipes comes to the rescue: "We're taking you home. If your mother sees you like this she's gonna' turn your ass the same color as your hair" Funny, rite?
* Goldie's team kidnaps the rival school's mascot, a goat. When principal Nipsey Russell invades the locker room and asks, "You all wouldn't happen to know what happen to the Cougar's goat, would you?" The goat, hidden in a locker, starts to baaaaah, which prompts Goldie to simultaneously reply "Naaaaah!" See? Hysterical!
Fans of Jan Hooks (like me) will love her turn here as the uppitty stick-up-the-butt wife of Goldie's ex. Fans of Woody Harrelson should note that a brief cameo is made here by his bare butt. Fans of Swoosie Kurtz should contemplate bathing with downed powerlines. Just kiddin', she's good too.
TEN! 1 point for the fat guy, 1 point for flatulence, 1 point for LL Cool J's lamest rap ever. The rest of the points go to Goldie. Goldie rocks.
Love, your pussies
6 of 9 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?
| Report this