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Molly is a high school track coach who knows just as much about football as anyone else on the planet. When the football coach's position becomes vacant, she applies for the job, despite expecting sniggers from fellow staff members and her former husband. Written by
Murray Chapman <firstname.lastname@example.org>
The trailer for "Wildcats" showed 3 ghetto-riffic cheerleaders stomping around a pile of dirt and chanting, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY! What-what! Yo' mama says you ugly!"
Okay, you got me. I'm there.
Ha-ha low-brow highlights include--
* Goldie Hawn's purple-headed teenage daughter gets sloshed at a team party. Wesley Snipes comes to the rescue: "We're taking you home. If your mother sees you like this she's gonna' turn your ass the same color as your hair" Funny, rite?
* Goldie's team kidnaps the rival school's mascot, a goat. When principal Nipsey Russell invades the locker room and asks, "You all wouldn't happen to know what happen to the Cougar's goat, would you?" The goat, hidden in a locker, starts to baaaaah, which prompts Goldie to simultaneously reply "Naaaaah!" See? Hysterical!
Fans of Jan Hooks (like me) will love her turn here as the uppitty stick-up-the-butt wife of Goldie's ex. Fans of Woody Harrelson should note that a brief cameo is made here by his bare butt. Fans of Swoosie Kurtz should contemplate bathing with downed powerlines. Just kiddin', she's good too.
TEN! 1 point for the fat guy, 1 point for flatulence, 1 point for LL Cool J's lamest rap ever. The rest of the points go to Goldie. Goldie rocks.
Love, your pussies
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