It's Australia, today. (Well, the mid 80's... when the film is set you numskull.) A strangely dressed, barefoot little girl watches some kids playing a game outside, but doesn't join in herself. This attracts the attention of a teen called Abigail, who, being the good sort she is, decides to see if she can help her. Alas, one touch of this young lady's hand sends the two spiraling back in time to the 19th century... and that's when all the inanity starts.
Such a shame. Playing Beatie Bow has such a strong setup, and usually I LOVE time travel movies. But watching these costumed freaks chewing up the scenery with their awful dialogue, in what looks like a school play reproduction of the era is not compatible with my idea of fun. Not to mention the incoherent plot about mysticism. But the real kicker here is a love story between Abigail and a bland sideburned 'hunk'. This abrupt union is so arbitrary, so tacked-on that even Mills & Boon might hesitate is include it in one of their trashtastic seaside page-turners.
It gets more tedious and ridiculous by the second... So by the time Abigail decides to save a little baby bird and a chest full of clothes by throwing them out of the window of a burning house rather than escaping herself, you should be past caring.The germ of a good idea was here, but as long as you choose to cut back on the budget for historical accuracy, and make the decision to populate your motion picture with a bunch of old hams rather than anyone with any vestige of intelligence, you're going to fail. Miserably. 3/10
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