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Never Too Young to Die (1986)

A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Lance Stargrove
...
...
...
...
Cliff
Ed Brock ...
...
Arliss
...
Tara Buckman ...
Sacrificed Punkette
...
Barton
Jon Greene ...
Coach Madsen
Tim Colceri ...
Grady
...
Mr. Wilder
Patrick Wright ...
Exploding Biker
...
Wrestler (as Gary F. Kasper)
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Storyline

Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He's holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he's eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father's death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he's been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn't buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with ...

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

He inherited all his father's enemies and only one of his friends. See more »


Certificate:

R | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

13 June 1986 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Lance - Stirb niemals jung  »

Box Office

Budget:

$3,000,000 (estimated)
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Company Credits

Production Co:

 »
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Technical Specs

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Color:

(Metrocolor)
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The movie was intended as the starting point for a "Son of Bond"-type franchise. It not only flopped at the box-office, but was shunned by its own co-star, Gene Simmons; years later, when a fan recognized him as "Velvet Von Ragnar", Simmons exclaimed "Don't tell me you SAW that thing!" See more »

Quotes

Velvet Von Ragnar: [Ragnar has captured Drew after killing the spy's partner] ... A program disk was stolen from me, Stargrove. I believe you've got it.
Drew Stargrove: Come on. This is stupid.
Velvet Von Ragnar: You're right. It's VERY stupid. Assuming, of course, you want to see your son.
Drew Stargrove: What kind of designer-drug are you on? How is Lance mixed up in all this?
Velvet Von Ragnar: You know, oddly enough, I wasn't sure he WAS... until now.
Drew Stargrove: Lance doesn't have a clue about my work!
Velvet Von Ragnar: Nor did his mother, but that didn't save her.
Drew Stargrove: You're threatening to KILL Lance!
Velvet Von Ragnar: I'm not ...
[...]
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Soundtracks

I'LL FIND YOU
Performed by Minor Messages
Produced by Iren Koster, Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane
Written by Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane, Michael Kingsley, and Iren Koster
1986 Paul Music
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
Lance (John Stamos) takes on the sheman Ragnar (Gene Simmons) in an 80´s environment
19 July 1999 | by (Copenhagen, Denmark) – See all my reviews

This is the absolute worst movies I have ever seen. The plot sucks, the actors suck, and the script sucks. However this is what makes the movie absolutely excellent. The sheman Ragnar (Gene Simmons) has an evil plan to pollute a citydam by putting toxic in it. A device developed by the father of Lance (George Lazenby - ex 007) is needed and his evil rocker horde fights John Stamos over it. Fantastic ending sequence when Lance (John Stamos) forces the metal nail of Ragnar into the shemans neck followed by a 100 m drop into the dam.

John Stamos is a perfect cast with his shoulder-long Prince Valiant hair and so is Gene Simmons with his extravagant transvestite acting. I laughed through the hole thing. Candidate for the title worst production ever.


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