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Your Excellency, do you want to wait for your bodyguard?
What do you mean? What do I look like? His manicurist? I'M his bodyguard! I'm his American bodyguard. Yeah, he's got a whole bunch of bodyguards out there. Those towlheads out there are his Arabian bodyguards. They protect him from sandstorms comming up in his face, and camel farts which make him nervous. I protect him from... from those guys because there was an artical in Scentific American that these Iranian guys get the sun ...
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After her unforgettable turn in horror comedy Waxworks, in which she played the submissive plaything of The Marquis De Sade, I didn't think it would be possible to find chipmunk-cheeked cutie Deborah Foreman irritating, but My Chauffeur has proved me wrong. The actress is just as great to look at, her dimples no less adorable, but her character, Casey Meadows, is thoroughly abrasive, a 'kooky' free-spirited young woman with a nonchalant attitude to life whose response to any situation is an exaggerated expression of cuteness or surprise. In short, she hacks me off!
Having firmly established her 'crazy credentials' during her first few assignments as chauffeur to the rich and famous (including ferrying a sleazy rock star to his gig in someone's front room, stopping along the way to let him assault an old lady), Casey is tasked with driving hard-nosed businessman Battle (Sam 'Flash Gordon' Jones) to a vineyard, a 300 mile trip during which the girl's incessant wacky mannerisms, cheeky grins, and spunky behaviour eventually melts her workaholic passenger's icy heart. Fetch me the bucket...
But writer/director David Beaird isn't content with simply rolling out the hoary old romantic movie clichés. Oh no, he's got something special in store for his unwary viewersone hell of a strange ending that beggars belief. For Casey's final job as a posh limo driver, she must drive a rich oil sheik (played by Teller, one half of magic duo Penn and Teller) to his embassy, a simple task but for the intervention of a conman (played by Penn, the other half of magic duo Penn and Teller) who sneaks into the back of the car and fast talks his way into changing the sheik's plans.
Instead of the embassy, Casey drives to a wild party where the sheik and the conman pick up some big breasted bimbos and pay them to take off their clothes in the back of the car. Cue more cutesie smiles and looks of amusement from an unfazed Casey. The next day sees Casey given the heave ho from her job, discovering the true identity of her father, fleetingly believing that she has committed incest, and learning that her mother was a total slut who slept with almost all of the men in the limo company. Instead of flipping out at this news like any normal person, Casey simply grins cheekily and looks cute. Arrrgghhhhh!
3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.
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