Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Audrey II: Does this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?
Seymour: The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.
Mr. Mushnik: Strictly between us - neither is the Audrey One.
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be human?
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
Audrey II: Feeeed me!
Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?
Audrey II: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.
Audrey: Seymour's first radio broadcast! I wanted to hear it so bad. I tried to be on time, but...
Mr. Mushnik: Don't tell me. You got tied up.
Audrey: No. Just handcuffed a little.
[the masochistic patient meets the sadistic dentist]
Arthur Denton: I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.
Audrey II: [singing] Would you like a Cadillac car? / Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? / How about a date with Hedy Lamarr? / You can get it.
Audrey: [of Orin's disappearance] It wouldn't be terrible at all. It would be a miracle, not to mention the money I'd save on epsom salts and ace bandages.
Seymour: Every household in America? Thousands of you eating... that's what you had in mind all along, isn't it?
Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock.
Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here, we're talking about world conquest.
Audrey II: And I want to thank you.
Seymour: [singing] I don't know.
Audrey II: Come on, boy!
Seymour: [singing] I don't know!
Audrey II: Lighten up!
Seymour: [singing] I have so, so many strong reservations.
Audrey II: Tell it to the Marines!
Seymour: [singing] Should I go and perform mutilations?
Seymour: [singing] Poor/All my life I've always been poor/I keep asking God what I'm for/And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure"/"Sweep that floor, kid!"/Oh, I started life as an orphan/A child of the street/Here on skid row/He took me in/Gave me shelter, a bed/Crust of bread and a job/Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob/Which I am/So I live...
Seymour: That's your home address/You live...
Seymour: When your life's a mess/You live...
Seymour: Where depression's just status quo.
Company: Down on Skid Row.
Audrey II: [singing] If you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify, take a breath and look around, a lot of folks deserve to die!
Audrey II: [singing] I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad!
[in the Radio station]
Wink Wilkinson: Gee, I wish you folks could see this. Hey Seymour, where did you get this WEEEEEEEEEEIRD plant?
Seymour: It's true! I chopped him up. But I didn't kill him!
Seymour: Wait a minute, Audrey II, that's not a very nice thing to say!
Audrey II: But it's true, isn't it?
Seymour: No! I don't know anybody who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!
Audrey II: Mmmmmm, sure you do!
[Turns Seymour around to look out the window. They see Orin and Audrey. Orin yells at Audrey and at last hits her]
Audrey: I don't believe it.
Audrey II: Believe it, baby. It talks.
Audrey: Am I dreaming this?
Audrey II: No, and you ain't in Kansas, neither.
Audrey II: [singing] you know the kind'a eats, the kind'a red HOT sweets, the kind'a sticky licky treats I crave!
Orin: [holding a dentist's tool] Let me ask you something! Does this scare you? Would you like if I took this and headed right for your damn incisors?
Seymour: [looks terrified]
Orin: It'd hurt, right?
Seymour: Uh huh.
Orin: You'd scream, right?
Seymour: Uh huh.
Orin: Well get your ass in here!
Seymour: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Is standing beside you
Audrey: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Showed me I can...
Audrey: [singing over sustain] Yes you can...
Patrick Martin: Excuse me! Pardon me, beg your pardon, if you two kids would stop singing for just a moment I've got something I want to discuss with you.
Patrick Martin: Me and the guys at the home office have been following this plant of yours. We've come up with one incredible idea. We're very proud of it. Picture this: we take leaf cuttings, develop little Audrey IIs and sell them to florist shops across the nation. Pretty soon every household in America could have one.
Seymour: [concerned] Every household in America!
Patrick Martin: For starters, kid. Why, this thing could go... worldwide!
Patrick Martin: With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.
Audrey: [to Seymour, intrigued:] Bigger than Hula-Hoops?
Audrey: I got a date.
Mr. Mushnik: With that same no-goodnik? I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need a date - you need major medical!
[while undergoing a torturous procedure by Orin Scrivello, DDS]
Arthur Denton: It's your professionalism that I respect.
Mr. Mushnik: [to Seymour] You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?
[Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist]
Orin: [singing] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.
Audrey II: [singing] I got killer buds / A power stem / Nasty pods / And I'm using them! / So better move 'em out / Nature calls / You got my pun? / I'm gonna bust your balls!
Orin: I find a little giggle-gas before I begin increases my pleasure enormously.
Seymour: Wait for me, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable!
Audrey: All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house.
Seymour: Oh Audrey, you're the most wondeful person that ever lived. We're gonna get that little house and everything's gonna be alright, you'll see.
Audrey: [singing about her dream home with Seymour] Between our frozen dinners, and our bedtime - 9:15 - we'd snuggle watching Lucy on a big, enormous, 12-inch screen!
Audrey: [singing] A matchbox of our own, a fence of real chain-link/A grill out on the patio, disposal in the sink/A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine/In a tract house that we share/Somewhere that's green
[Seymour is attempting to put a plant on a high shelf. The shelving unit falls and the plants crash to the floor]
Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what's going on?
Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik.
Orin: Stupid woman! Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain!
Audrey: I'm sorry, doctor! I'm sorry, doctor!
Orin: Falls off the motorcycle!
Audrey: I'm clumsy, doctor! I'm clumsy, doctor!
Orin: [kicks down the doors] Messes my hair! Get the door open, you little slut!
Audrey: I'm trying, doctor! I;m trying, doctor!
Orin: Get the Vitalis! Quick, the Vitalis!
Audrey: [feeling threatened] I'M OUT OF IT!
Orin: [grabs her] WHAT!
[Orin slaps her harshly making her cry]
Audrey II: [rapping] You know I don't come from no Black Lagoon.
Audrey II: I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon.
Audrey II: You can keep The Thing.
Audrey II: Keep The It.
Audrey II: Keep The Creature, they don't mean shit!
Audrey II: I need me some water in the worst way. Look at my branches. I'm dryin' up. I'm a *goner*, honey!
Audrey II: [singing] Come on and give me a drink!
Audrey: I don't know if I should.
Audrey II: [singing] Hey, little lady, be nice.
Audrey: Do you talk to Seymour like this?
Audrey II: [singing] Sure do. I'll take it straight.
Audrey: Your leaves *are* dry.
Audrey II: [singing] Don't need no glass or no ice.
Audrey: I'll get the can.
Audrey II: [singing] Don't need no twist of lime...
Audrey: [sing-song] Here we go!
Audrey II: And now it's *suppertime*!
Patrick Martin: Whaddya say, Seymour? Do we have a deal?
Seymour: No! Keep your contract. Nobody's touchin' that plant, you hear?
Patrick Martin: Hey, we're offerin' a lotta money here!
Seymour: Forget the money. Take the money and leave!
Patrick Martin: Whaddya, nuts?
Seymour: Yeah, I'm nuts! Get outta here!
Patrick Martin: Hey, now, come on!
Seymour: Go on! Get outta here!
Patrick Martin: You're a loon!
Seymour: Go on and get out!
Patrick Martin: Look, I'll come back when you're in a better mood!
Seymour: Go on, get outta here now!
Patrick Martin: Alright!
Orin: Look Seymour, this could happen to you. Unless I take immediate action.
Seymour: [helpless in dentist chair] What's that?
Orin: [enthusiastically] A drill.
Seymour: It's rusty!
Orin: It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this any more. Sturdy. Heavy. Dull!
Orin: I'm gonna want some gas fer this.
Seymour: Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any.
Orin: Oh, the gas isn't for you Seymour, it's for me. You see, I wanna really enjoy this.
Patrick Martin: Son, kid, boy are we gonna make a fortune.
Mr. Mushnik: Hey, urchins!
[bangs on window]
Mr. Mushnik: Shoo, get outta here!/ No loitering!
Ronette: Maan, I wasn't loitering/ Were you Crystal?
Crystal: Not me Ronette, were you Chiffon?
Mr. Mushnik: You kids should be in school!
Chiffon: Yeah, but were on a split shift.
Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till the tenth grade, then we split!
Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row/ Ain't no such thing!
Mr. Mushnik: Move, move! Move! Stay away!
[gestures them away from inside his window]
Mr. Mushnik: No loitering!
Ronette: Man, I wasn't loitering! Were you, Crystal?
Crystal: Not me, Ronette! Were you, Chiffon?
Mr. Mushnik: You oughta be in school!
Chiffon: Yeah, well, we're on a split shift.
Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till fifth grade, then we split!
Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing!
Audrey: [singing] You'll wash my tender leaves/You'll smell my sweet perfume/You'll water me, and care for me/You'll see me bud and bloom/I'm feeling strangely happy now/Contented and serene/Oh, don't you see?/Finally, I'll be/Somewhere that's... green!
Orin: [singing] When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...
Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"
Audrey II: [Seymour quietly tries to sneak out of the shop with suitcases while the plant is asleep. As he slowly opens the door... ] Feed me.
Seymour: Under NO circumstances.
Audrey II: FEED me.
Seymour: [annoyed] I will not, so stop asking.
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: [puts down suitcase] No! No more! I can't keep living with the guilt
Audrey II: [coldly] Tough titty.
Seymour: You watch your language.
Audrey II: [stands up to full height] Ooooh, cut the crap! Bring on the meat!
Audrey: [singing] I'd cook like Betty Crocker and I'd look like Donna Reed!
Audrey II: Tough titty!
Seymour: You watch your language!
Audrey II: Aw cut the crap and bring on the meat!
[Seymour points a gun at him]
Orin: [while wearing a gas mask, sees it] Huh? What the hell's that? A gun?
[laughs out of control]
Orin: [sarcastically while laughing still] Kid's got a goddamn revolver Oh, Jesus! I'm in trouble now, huh?
[Orin laughs still as Seymour goes nervous still pointing the gun at him]
Orin: Oh, wait till I turn this gas off.
[takes the cap off by accident]
Orin: Uh-oh! Oh, give me a hand, would you? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?
[laughs again but coughs as he tries to take the mask off]
Orin: You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...
[coughs out of control]
Orin: I could asphyx...
[continues laughing and coughing until he collapses on the floor]
Orin: [stops laughing] What'd I ever do to you?
Seymour: [lowers the gun] Nothing. It's what you did to her.
Orin: Her who?
[Seymour does not answer]
Orin: [finally gets it] Oh... her...
[Orin then dies from too much nitrous oxide as Seymour goes puzzled]
Mr. Mushnik: [after Seymour asks why Mushnik is angry at him] Little red dots all over the linoleum, little red spots on the concrete outside - I'm talking blood, Krelborn! I'm talking under my own roof!
[grabs an axe]
Mr. Mushnik: An axe murderer!
[Seymour goes alarmed]
Audrey II: [sings off-screen] He's got your number now.
Mr. Mushnik: I saw everything!
Audrey II: He knows just what you've done.
Mr. Mushnik: Everything you did to her boyfriend!
Audrey II: You've got no place to hide.
Mr. Mushnik: [swings the axe] I saw you chopping him!
Audrey II: You've got nowhere to run.
Seymour: [innocently] It's true! I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!
Audrey II: He knows your life of crime.
Mr. Mushnik: [points a gun at him] Tell it to the police!
Audrey II: I think it's suppertime!
Seymour: You okay?
Audrey: Yes... no...
[Audrey falls to the ground. Seymour helps her up and holds her in his arms]
Seymour: Don't die, Audrey! Please don't die!
Audrey: You know, the plant just said the strangest thing just now. It said Orin and Mr. Mushnik are already inside!
Seymour: It's true. I did it. I fed them to it.
Audrey: And that's what made it so big and strong, and you so famous?
Seymour: I've done terrible things, Audrey, but not to you. Never to you.
Audrey: But... I want you to, Seymour.
Audrey: When I die, which should be very shortly, give me to the plant, so that it will live and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.
Seymour: You don't know what you're saying.
Audrey: But I do! It's the one gift I can give you. And if I'm in the plant, then I am part of the plant, so in a way... we'll always be together.
Narrator: On the twenty-third day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places...
[last lines, director's cut]
Company: [singing] Hold your hat and hang on to your soul/Something's coming to eat the world whole/If we fight it, we've still got a chance/But whatever they offer you/Though they're slopping the trough for you/Please whatever they offer you/Don't feed the plants!/Don't feed the plants!
Crystal: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Similar events in cities across America/Events which bore a striking resemblance/To the ones you have just seen/Began occurring./Ooh, ooo-ooh.
Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California/Made the acquaintance of a new breed of flytrap/And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood./Thus the plants worked their terrible will/Finding jerks who would feed them their fill/And the plants proceeded to grow, and grow/And began what they came here to do/Which was essentially to/Eat Cleveland/And Des Moines/And Peoria/And New York/And where you live!
'Downtown' Old Woman: [singing] Alarm goes off at seven/And you start uptown/You put in your eight hours/For the powers/That have always been.
Ronette: Sing it, child.
'Downtown' Old Woman: 'Til it's 5 PM...
'Downtown' Bum #1: Then you go...
'Downtown' Old Woman: Home to Skid Row.
Audrey: [singing] Downtown/Where the guys are drips.
Audrey: Where they rip your slips.
Audrey: Where relationships are no go/Down on Skid Row.
Seymour, Audrey: [singing] Gee, it sure would be swell to get outta here/Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here/I'd move Heaven and Hell to get outta Skid/I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid...
[Seymour recounts how he found Audrey II]
Seymour: You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?
Seymour: I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day...
Seymour: And I passed by this place, where this old Chinese man...
Seymour: He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...
Seymour: 'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.
Seymour: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.
Seymour: So, I was just about to, you know, walk on by...
Doo-Wop Street Singer: Good for you.
Seymour: When suddenly, and without warning, there was this...
Seymour: It got very dark, and there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world.
Seymour: And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there...
Seymour: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.
Seymour: I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before, but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five.
Seymour: 'Every household in America'! That's what you had in mind, isn't it?
Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock!
Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here; we're talking about world conquest!
Audrey II: And I wanna thank you!
Seymour: [distraught] You ate the only thing I ever loved!
[Audrey II laughs at him]
Seymour: You're a monster, and so am I! It's gotta end! It's gotta stop right here!
Seymour: [after saving Audrey from Audrey II] Are you okay?
Audrey: Yes... No...
Seymour: Audrey! Audrey!
Audrey: [gets back up] No, really, I'm okay.
Seymour: I'm sorry, Audrey, I'm just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that somehow it makes things happen - terrible things. Well, I guess I should've stopped when I found out what it lived on, but it was cute and harmless, and we started doing business and making money and you like me...
Audrey: Seymour! Do you really think I liked you because of that?
[Seymour goes silent]
Audrey: I liked you from the day I came to work here.
Seymour: You mean you still like me, even if I wasn't famous?
Audrey: [smiles] I'd still love you Seymour.
Audrey: Yes. All I ever wanted was you... and that sweet little house.
Seymour: [happily] Oh, Audrey, you're the most wonderful person that ever lived! We're gonna get that little house and everything will be okay somehow, you'll see!
Seymour: Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.
Audrey: [sings] Suddenly Seymour showed me I can!
Audrey: Yes, you can!