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Little Shop of Horrors (1986) Poster

Quotes

Audrey II: Does this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?

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[the masochistic patient meets the sadistic dentist]

Arthur Denton: I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.

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Seymour: The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.

Mr. Mushnik: Strictly between us - neither is the Audrey One.

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Audrey: Seymour's first radio broadcast! I wanted to hear it so bad. I tried to be on time, but...

Mr. Mushnik: Don't tell me. You got tied up.

Audrey: No. Just handcuffed a little.

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Audrey II: Feed me!

Seymour: Does it have to be human?

Audrey II: Feed me!

Seymour: Does it have to be mine?

Audrey II: Feeeed me!

Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?

Audrey II: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.

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Audrey: [of Orin's disappearance] It wouldn't be terrible at all. It would be a miracle, not to mention the money I'd save on epsom salts and ace bandages.

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Orin: [holding a dentist's tool] Let me ask you something! Does this scare you? Would you like if I took this and headed right for your damn incisors?

Seymour: [looks terrified]

Orin: It'd hurt, right?

Seymour: Uh huh.

Orin: You'd scream, right?

Seymour: Uh huh.

Orin: Well get your ass in here!

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[in the Radio station]

Wink Wilkinson: Gee, I wish you folks could see this. Hey Seymour, where did you get this WEEEEEEEEEEIRD plant?

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Seymour: It's true! I chopped him up. But I didn't kill him!

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Audrey: I got a date.

Mr. Mushnik: With that same no-goodnik? I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need a date - you need major medical!

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[while undergoing a torturous procedure by Orin Scrivello, DDS]

Arthur Denton: It's your professionalism that I respect.

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Seymour: [singing] Poor/All my life I've always been poor/I keep asking God what I'm for/And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure"/"Sweep that floor, kid!"/Oh, I started life as an orphan/A child of the street/Here on skid row/He took me in/Gave me shelter, a bed/Crust of bread and a job/Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob/Which I am/So I live...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour: That's your home address/You live...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour: When your life's a mess/You live...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour: Where depression's just status quo.

Company: Down on Skid Row.

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Audrey II: [singing] If you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify, take a breath and look around, a lot of folks deserve to die!

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Audrey II: [singing] I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad!

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[Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist]

Orin: [singing] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.

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[repeated line]

Audrey II: Feed me, Seymour!

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Audrey II: [singing] Would you like a Cadillac car? / Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? / How about a date with Hedy Lamarr? / You can get it.

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Audrey II: [singing] I got killer buds / A power stem / Nasty pods / And I'm using them! / So better move 'em out / Nature calls / You got my pun? / I'm gonna bust your balls!

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Seymour: The guy sure looks like plant food to me.

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RonetteChiffonCrystal: Oh, here it comes, baby. Tell your mom, baby. Oh oh no! Oh, hit the dirt, baby! Red alert baby! Oh oh no, oh oh no!

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Orin: I find a little giggle-gas before I begin increases my pleasure enormously.

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Seymour: Wait for me, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable!

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Audrey: All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house.

Seymour: Oh Audrey, you're the most wondeful person that ever lived. We're gonna get that little house and everything's gonna be alright, you'll see.

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[his last lines, theatrical cut]

Audrey II: Oh, shit!

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Seymour: Every household in America? Thousands of you eating... that's what you had in mind all along, isn't it?

Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock.

Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here, we're talking about world conquest.

Audrey II: And I want to thank you.

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Audrey: [singing about her dream home with Seymour] Between our frozen dinners, and our bedtime - 9:15 - we'd snuggle watching Lucy on a big, enormous, 12-inch screen!

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Audrey: I'm sorry doctor, I'm sorry.

Orin: Fall off the motorcycle my ass!

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Audrey: [singing] A matchbox of our own, a fence of real chain-link/A grill out on the patio, disposal in the sink/A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine/In a tract house that we share/Somewhere that's green

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Seymour: Wait a minute, Audrey II, that's not a very nice thing to say!

Audrey II: But it's true, isn't it?

Seymour: No! I don't know anybody who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!

Audrey II: Mmmmmm, sure you do!

[Turns Seymour around to look out the window. They see Orin and Audrey. Orin yells at Audrey and at last hits her]

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[Seymour is attempting to put a plant on a high shelf. The shelving unit falls and the plants crash to the floor]

Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what's going on?

Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik.

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Orin: Stupid woman! Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain!

Audrey: I'm sorry, doctor! I'm sorry, doctor!

Orin: Falls off the motorcycle!

Audrey: I'm clumsy, doctor! I'm clumsy, doctor!

Orin: [kicks down the doors] Messes my hair! Get the door open, you little slut!

Audrey: I'm trying, doctor! I;m trying, doctor!

Orin: Get the Vitalis! Quick, the Vitalis!

Audrey: [feeling threatened] I'M OUT OF IT!

Orin: [grabs her] WHAT!

[Orin slaps her harshly making her cry]

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Seymour: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Is standing beside you

Audrey: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Showed me I can...

Audrey: [singing over sustain] Yes you can...

Patrick Martin: Excuse me! Pardon me, beg your pardon, if you two kids would stop singing for just a moment I've got something I want to discuss with you.

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Patrick Martin: Me and the guys at the home office have been following this plant of yours. We've come up with one incredible idea. We're very proud of it. Picture this: we take leaf cuttings, develop little Audrey IIs and sell them to florist shops across the nation. Pretty soon every household in America could have one.

Seymour: [concerned] Every household in America!

Patrick Martin: For starters, kid. Why, this thing could go... worldwide!

SeymourAudrey: [to each other, panicked:] *Worldwide*?

Patrick Martin: With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.

Audrey: [to Seymour, intrigued:] Bigger than Hula-Hoops?

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Audrey II: [rapping] You know I don't come from no Black Lagoon.

Pods: No!

Audrey II: I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon.

Pods: Yes!

Audrey II: You can keep The Thing.

Pods: Thing!

Audrey II: Keep The It.

Pods: It!

Audrey II: Keep The Creature, they don't mean shit!

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Audrey: I don't believe it.

Audrey II: Believe it, baby. It talks.

Audrey: Am I dreaming this?

Audrey II: No, and you ain't in Kansas, neither.

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Audrey II: I need me some water in the worst way. Look at my branches. I'm dryin' up. I'm a *goner*, honey!

Audrey II: [singing] Come on and give me a drink!

Audrey: I don't know if I should.

Audrey II: [singing] Hey, little lady, be nice.

Audrey: Do you talk to Seymour like this?

Audrey II: [singing] Sure do. I'll take it straight.

Audrey: Your leaves *are* dry.

Audrey II: [singing] Don't need no glass or no ice.

Audrey: I'll get the can.

Audrey II: [singing] Don't need no twist of lime...

Audrey: [sing-song] Here we go!

Audrey II: And now it's *suppertime*!

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Patrick Martin: Whaddya say, Seymour? Do we have a deal?

Seymour: No! Keep your contract. Nobody's touchin' that plant, you hear?

Patrick Martin: Hey, we're offerin' a lotta money here!

Seymour: Forget the money. Take the money and leave!

Patrick Martin: Whaddya, nuts?

Seymour: Yeah, I'm nuts! Get outta here!

Patrick Martin: Hey, now, come on!

Seymour: Go on! Get outta here!

Patrick Martin: You're a loon!

Seymour: Go on and get out!

Patrick Martin: Look, I'll come back when you're in a better mood!

Seymour: Go on, get outta here now!

Patrick Martin: Alright!

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Orin: Look Seymour, this could happen to you. Unless I take immediate action.

Seymour: [helpless in dentist chair] What's that?

Orin: [enthusiastically] A drill.

Seymour: It's rusty!

Orin: It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this any more. Sturdy. Heavy. Dull!

Orin: I'm gonna want some gas fer this.

Seymour: Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any.

Orin: Oh, the gas isn't for you Seymour, it's for me. You see, I wanna really enjoy this.

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Patrick Martin: Son, kid, boy are we gonna make a fortune.

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Audrey II: [singing] you know the kind'a eats, the kind'a red HOT sweets, the kind'a sticky licky treats I crave!

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Mr. Mushnik: Hey, urchins!

[bangs on window]

Mr. Mushnik: Shoo, get outta here!/ No loitering!

Ronette: Maan, I wasn't loitering/ Were you Crystal?

Crystal: Not me Ronette, were you Chiffon?

Mr. Mushnik: You kids should be in school!

Chiffon: Yeah, but were on a split shift.

Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till the tenth grade, then we split!

Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?

Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row/ Ain't no such thing!

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Seymour: [singing] I don't know.

Audrey II: Come on, boy!

Seymour: [singing] I don't know!

Audrey II: Lighten up!

Seymour: [singing] I have so, so many strong reservations.

Audrey II: Tell it to the Marines!

Seymour: [singing] Should I go and perform mutilations?

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Mr. Mushnik: Move, move! Move! Stay away!

[gestures them away from inside his window]

Mr. Mushnik: No loitering!

Ronette: Man, I wasn't loitering! Were you, Crystal?

Crystal: Not me, Ronette! Were you, Chiffon?

Mr. Mushnik: You oughta be in school!

Chiffon: Yeah, well, we're on a split shift.

Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till fifth grade, then we split!

Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?

Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing!

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Mr. Mushnik: [to Seymour] You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?

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Audrey: [singing] I'd cook like Betty Crocker and I'd look like Donna Reed!

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Audrey II: Tough titty!

Seymour: You watch your language!

Audrey II: Aw cut the crap and bring on the meat!

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[Seymour points a gun at him]

Orin: [while wearing a gas mask, sees it] Huh? What the hell's that? A gun?

[laughs out of control]

Orin: [sarcastically while laughing still] Kid's got a goddamn revolver Oh, Jesus! I'm in trouble now, huh?

[Orin laughs still as Seymour goes nervous still pointing the gun at him]

Orin: Oh, wait till I turn this gas off.

[takes the cap off by accident]

Orin: Uh-oh! Oh, give me a hand, would you? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?

[laughs again but coughs as he tries to take the mask off]

Orin: You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...

[coughs out of control]

Orin: I could asphyx...

[continues laughing and coughing until he collapses on the floor]

Orin: [stops laughing] What'd I ever do to you?

Seymour: [lowers the gun] Nothing. It's what you did to her.

Orin: Her who?

[Seymour does not answer]

Orin: [finally gets it] Oh... her...

[Orin then dies from too much nitrous oxide as Seymour goes puzzled]

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Mr. Mushnik: [after Seymour asks why Mushnik is angry at him] Little red dots all over the linoleum, little red spots on the concrete outside - I'm talking blood, Krelborn! I'm talking under my own roof!

[grabs an axe]

Mr. Mushnik: An axe murderer!

[Seymour goes alarmed]

Audrey II: [sings off-screen] He's got your number now.

Mr. Mushnik: I saw everything!

Audrey II: He knows just what you've done.

Mr. Mushnik: Everything you did to her boyfriend!

Audrey II: You've got no place to hide.

Mr. Mushnik: [swings the axe] I saw you chopping him!

Audrey II: You've got nowhere to run.

Seymour: [innocently] It's true! I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!

Audrey II: He knows your life of crime.

Mr. Mushnik: [points a gun at him] Tell it to the police!

Audrey II: I think it's suppertime!

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Seymour: You okay?

Audrey: Yes... no...

[Audrey falls to the ground. Seymour helps her up and holds her in his arms]

Seymour: Don't die, Audrey! Please don't die!

Audrey: You know, the plant just said the strangest thing just now. It said Orin and Mr. Mushnik are already inside!

Seymour: It's true. I did it. I fed them to it.

Audrey: And that's what made it so big and strong, and you so famous?

Seymour: I've done terrible things, Audrey, but not to you. Never to you.

Audrey: But... I want you to, Seymour.

Seymour: What?

Audrey: When I die, which should be very shortly, give me to the plant, so that it will live and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.

Seymour: You don't know what you're saying.

Audrey: But I do! It's the one gift I can give you. And if I'm in the plant, then I am part of the plant, so in a way... we'll always be together.

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Audrey: [singing] You'll wash my tender leaves/You'll smell my sweet perfume/You'll water me, and care for me/You'll see me bud and bloom/I'm feeling strangely happy now/Contented and serene/Oh, don't you see?/Finally, I'll be/Somewhere that's... green!

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[first lines]

Narrator: On the twenty-third day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places...

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[last lines, director's cut]

Company: [singing] Hold your hat and hang on to your soul/Something's coming to eat the world whole/If we fight it, we've still got a chance/But whatever they offer you/Though they're slopping the trough for you/Please whatever they offer you/Don't feed the plants!/Don't feed the plants!

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Crystal: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Similar events in cities across America/Events which bore a striking resemblance/To the ones you have just seen/Began occurring./Ooh, ooo-ooh.

CrystalRonetteChiffon: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California/Made the acquaintance of a new breed of flytrap/And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood./Thus the plants worked their terrible will/Finding jerks who would feed them their fill/And the plants proceeded to grow, and grow/And began what they came here to do/Which was essentially to/Eat Cleveland/And Des Moines/And Peoria/And New York/And where you live!

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'Downtown' Old Woman: [singing] Alarm goes off at seven/And you start uptown/You put in your eight hours/For the powers/That have always been.

Ronette: Sing it, child.

'Downtown' Old Woman: 'Til it's 5 PM...

'Downtown' Bum #1: Then you go...

'Downtown' Old WomanCrystalRonetteChiffon: [singing] Downtown/Where the folks are broke/You go downtown/Where your life's a joke/You go downtown/Where the hop-heads flop in the snow.

'Downtown' Old Woman: Home to Skid Row.

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Audrey: [singing] Downtown/Where the guys are drips.

Company: Downtown!

Audrey: Where they rip your slips.

Company: Downtown!

Audrey: Where relationships are no go/Down on Skid Row.

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SeymourAudrey: [singing] Gee, it sure would be swell to get outta here/Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here/I'd move Heaven and Hell to get outta Skid/I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid...

Company: Downtown!

SeymourAudrey: But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid...

Company: Downtown!

SeymourAudrey: People tell me there's not a way outta Skid...

Company: Downtown!

SeymourAudrey: But believe me/I gotta get outta Skid...

SeymourAudreyCompany: ...Row!

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Orin: [singing] When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...

CrystalRonetteChiffon: What did she say?

Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"

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[Seymour recounts how he found Audrey II]

Seymour: You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?

CrystalRonetteChiffon: [singing] Da-doo!

Seymour: I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day...

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Shoop da-doo.

Seymour: And I passed by this place, where this old Chinese man...

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Chang, da-doo.

Seymour: He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Snip, da-doo.

Seymour: 'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Da da da da da da-doo.

Seymour: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Nope, da-doo.

Seymour: So, I was just about to, you know, walk on by...

Doo-Wop Street Singer: Good for you.

Doo-Wop Street SingerDoo-Wop Street SingerDoo-Wop Street SingerDoo-Wop Street Singer: [scatting]

Seymour: When suddenly, and without warning, there was this...

CrystalRonetteChiffon: ...total eclipse of the sun!

Seymour: It got very dark, and there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world.

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Da-doo!

Seymour: And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there...

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Whoop, see-doo.

Seymour: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.

CrystalRonetteChiffon: Audrey II!

Seymour: I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before, but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five.

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[director's cut]

Seymour: 'Every household in America'! That's what you had in mind, isn't it?

Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock!

Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here; we're talking about world conquest!

Audrey II: And I wanna thank you!

Seymour: [distraught] You ate the only thing I ever loved!

[Audrey II laughs at him]

Seymour: You're a monster, and so am I! It's gotta end! It's gotta stop right here!

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[theatrical cut]

Seymour: [after saving Audrey from Audrey II] Are you okay?

Audrey: Yes... No...

[Audrey collapses]

Seymour: Audrey! Audrey!

Audrey: [gets back up] No, really, I'm okay.

Seymour: I'm sorry, Audrey, I'm just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that somehow it makes things happen - terrible things. Well, I guess I should've stopped when I found out what it lived on, but it was cute and harmless, and we started doing business and making money and you like me...

Audrey: Seymour! Do you really think I liked you because of that?

[Seymour goes silent]

Audrey: I liked you from the day I came to work here.

Seymour: You mean you still like me, even if I wasn't famous?

Audrey: [smiles] I'd still love you Seymour.

Seymour: Really?

Audrey: Yes. All I ever wanted was you... and that sweet little house.

Seymour: [happily] Oh, Audrey, you're the most wonderful person that ever lived! We're gonna get that little house and everything will be okay somehow, you'll see!

[sings]

Seymour: Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.

Audrey: [sings] Suddenly Seymour showed me I can!

Audrey: Yes, you can!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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