Edit
Howard the Duck (1986) Poster

Quotes

Beverly: I don't know where you are now, but I hope you're happier there. This world didn't treat you very good, but you saved it, didn't you?

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Together in bed, Beverly seducing Howard]

Howard T. Duck: [flustered] I've got a headache...

Beverly: And I've got the aspirin!

Howard T. Duck: Be gentle.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: I was worried about you. I missed you.

Howard T. Duck: Well, sex appeal. Some guys got it - and some guys don't.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: That's it, no more Mr. Nice Duck.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: We've got a saying on my planet. If God intended us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: You got some place to go?

Howard T. Duck: Hey, if I had some place to go I certainly wouldn't be in 'Cleve-Land'.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: I've given up trying to assimilate. I've got to get back to my own kind!

[notices Beverly's behind as he watches her crawl across the top of her bed in her underwear]

Howard T. Duck: Althoooooough... I HAVE developed a greater appreciation for the female version of the human anatomy... ARROOOOO!

Beverly: Howard, you really are the worst!

Howard T. Duck: He-he!

Beverly: Come on, let's watch David Letterman. Come on!

[Pats the bed]

Howard T. Duck: Okie-dookie.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: Bev, I am not a real sentimental guy.

Beverly: No. I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, Duckie.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Howard has escaped]

Lieutenant Welker: How the hell am I gonna explain a manhunt for a duck?

Officer Hanson: It's a duck hunt.

Lieutenant Welker: Ah, yes, please don't, don't, don't start, please, please...

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

State Trooper: I wanna see your license, "Jack"!

Dr. Jenning: [as the Dark Overlord] I have no license. I am *not* Jack.

[electrocutes state trooper]

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: [setting fire to the diner] If you can't take the heat, get out of that kitchen!

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Howard and Phil have landed in a pond]

Howard T. Duck: Philsy, help! Philsy, help me!

Phil Blumburtt: Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim.

Howard T. Duck: Shut up and save me!

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[last lines]

Howard T. Duck: Not bad for a duck from outer space.

Beverly: You were great, Duckie!

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: Every duck has his limit, and you scum have pushed me over the line!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Howard is being strip-searched]

Howard T. Duck: On my planet, we never say die, we say... NOT MY SHORTS! You perverts!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Put him down! Howard may be a duck, but you people are animals! He's my boyfriend!

3rd Trucker: That's disgusting!

Beverly: You don't make me proud to be a human!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: It feels like something inside me, gnawing at my guts... what's wrong with me?

Beverly: Well... what did you have for lunch?

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: In the lab that night, we saw a single feather fall. We weren't aware that the rest of you, Howard, had landed in that alley just two miles away. Any questions?

Howard T. Duck: Yeah. Where are my pants?

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: No duck is an island. And if fate sent me here to save Earth, then Howard the Duck is ready to fight!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Hiya, Duckie.

Howard T. Duck: Hi, Toots.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Phil Blumburtt hangs into the sea from the bottom of a flying machine as Howard's driving]

Howard T. Duck: This is no time for watersports!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: What is this place?

Beverly: Uh... Cleveland?

Howard T. Duck: Cleve-Land? U-huh. That's a perfect weird name for this planet.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Jenning has almost crashed into a diner]

Howard T. Duck: You think that's funny, Jenning?

Dr. Jenning: I'm not Jenning anymore! The transformation is complete. I am now... someone else.

Howard T. Duck: Try telling that to your insurance company.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: I'm sorry I'm so nervous. It's just that I've never been around a... Um, I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know. They seem like such a hassle - you know, feeding 'em, cleaning up their little poo-poos, and...

Howard T. Duck: I'll try to be careful.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: I can't believe this planet. Fried eggs - yuck!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: [at the diner, as the Dark Overlord] I have disguised my true form, which would be considered... hideous and revolting, here.

Beverly: Lucky for the people eating.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: Goodbye, Duckworld.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: It was just a routine procedure, meant to measure the density of the gases that surround Alpha Centauri. However, partway through the experiment, there was a deviation, and, uh... we lost control of the laser spectroscope.

Howard T. Duck: What do you mean, "lost control"?

Dr. Jenning: Some unknown force was redirecting the laser beam from its original target, so that it hit your planet instead.

Howard T. Duck: Hit my planet? How about 'hit my living room'? Talk about an invasion of privacy!

4 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hostess: I'm sorry, we don't allow pets on the premises.

Howard T. Duck: Hey! Have a heart! Seeing-eye duck.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: It's not nice to fool with the dark overlords!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: Desperate ducks commit desperate acts!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Skin Head: [notices Howard] I've been doing too much toot!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: [to Bev] Of all the alleys in the world I could have fallen into that night, why did it have to be yours?

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Blumburtt: DUCK!

Howard T. Duck: And proud of it!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Howard, Beverly and Dr. Jenning (aka The Dark Overlord) enter the diner]

Hostess: [to waiter] This is why I hate the night shift.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ginger Moss: Mallard in the side pocket!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Blumburtt: [working on the ultralight] Did you find the toolbox?

Howard T. Duck: Yeah, I know why you want a toolbox - you got a screw loose.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Make yourself at home.

Howard T. Duck: Make myself at home? I wish.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Excuse me, are you in charge here?

Lieutenant Welker: Yeah, why?

Beverly: Well, I want to know why they're harassing Howard.

Lieutenant Welker: Who's Howard?

Beverly: He had nothing to do with it. Howard, Howard is just an innocent, um...

Lieutenant Welker: "Thing"?

Beverly: No. Duck.

Lieutenant Welker: Just an innocent duck?

[Beverly nods]

Lieutenant Welker: [to Officer Hanson] No wonder why I'm asking for early retirement.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lieutenant Welker: [to Howard] You are gonna go play sitting duck in a jail cell.

Officer Hanson: Lieutenant - what's the charge, sir?

Lieutenant Welker: Illegal alien!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: I told you, bird-brain, I am not Jenning anymore! I am now one of the Dark Overlords of the Universe.

Beverly: Hmm, Dark Overlord of the Universe?

Howard T. Duck: That must be quite a responsibility.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[the mob is trying to slaughter Howard]

Howard T. Duck: Jenning! They're seasoning me!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[the diner has turned into turmoil]

Dr. Jenning: [as the Dark Overlord] An evil unlike any you can imagine is about to engulf the Earth.

Waitress: Oh, no, no, we are fighting here all the time.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Waitress: You know, hostility is like psychic boomerang.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: The world is in great danger.

Howard T. Duck: Yeah, it certainly is when *you're* out on the highway.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: You are about to make history a second time, my little friend.

Howard T. Duck: Thanks. But once was plenty.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Blumburtt: Howard, in prehistoric times you flew. Fly, Howard! Find your instincts, trust your birdness, FLY!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Jenning: [In demon form] Eat claw, duck!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: What am I gonna do with you, Duckie?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Cora Mae, Job Placement Counselor: [to Howard] I gotta feelin', you gonna take to this job like a duck to water. Ha! Ha! Ha-ha! Ha!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: I just can't seem to find the right man.

Howard T. Duck: Maybe it's not a man you should be looking for.

Beverly: Ah, you think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Duckie?

Howard T. Duck: Like they say, Doll, love's strange. We could always give it a try.

Beverly: Okay, let's go for it Mr. Macho.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: [to Howard as they lie in bed together] I just can't resist your intense animal magnetism.

[the feathers on the top of Howard's head stick straight up]

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: [Picks up a handful of feathers] What's this in my bed?

Howard T. Duck: Ah, souvenirs?

Beverly: I'm gonna miss you a lot, Duckie.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Postcard: Dear Howard, Having a miserable vacation. I miss you - I miss your bill pressed against mine. Flying home soon. Love, Michelle

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

"Breeders - Lost Stork" Movie Poster: Indiana Drake - the new hero from the creators of BEAKS and FOWL WARS... coming to Duckworld this Summer.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Wendy: [Message left on answering machine] Hi. It's Wendy. I had this really intense dream last night, Howie. I was running my fingers through your feathers and all of the sudden, oh, well, you better come over tonight and I'll show you what really happened next. Ciao for now, Howie.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Football Player: [In a TV Commercial] Why not take a shot of new Shorts Blaster? It's guaranteed to wipe out feather fungus in even the most active crotches.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: I'm a dead duck!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Listen, would you like something to eat or drink? Milk? I could put it in a bowl?

Howard T. Duck: Doll, I don't drink out of bowls. Do you gotta beer?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Blumburtt: I've already got a theory.

Beverly: What theory?

Phil Blumburtt: Well, this is, of course, the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed from monkey to me, for instance.

Howard T. Duck: You consider that progress? Jeez, you're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting.

Phil Blumburtt: Now, I want you both to imagine, somewhere in the universe, is Howard's world. Picture it, in your mind, a world almost exactly like ours except the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey - but, a duck!

Howard T. Duck: Sound theory. Every school duck knows this stuff!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: If that's the way you want it! Then, so long, Duckie!

Howard T. Duck: Don't shed any tears over me, Toots!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: Dammit! I can't sit here on my tail feathers, feeling sorry for myself. I've got to think about practical matters. Food. Shelter. A job!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nightclub Owner: Here's the money, for the girls.

Ginger Moss, Beverly's Manager: I'll make sure they get it.

Nightclub Owner: Yeah, I'll bet! When?

Ginger Moss, Beverly's Manager: When? When bodacious Beverly stops holdin' out on me. I'm gonna invite her up to my place tonight for a little career manipulation.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Blumburtt: Hi, sorry I missed the show. I came to watch you undress though and I brought a pizza.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: You play pretty good.

Howard T. Duck: I had a group in high school: Howard and the Heartbreakers.

Beverly: Oh, heavy, Howard. Very heavy. Maybe you should be our manager. Wait a second. Maybe you're just the kind of bizarro influence we need!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Carter: This relationship - it defies all the laws of nature.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: On my planet, we never say die - we say kill!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: Aren't you going to see me off?

Beverly: Sure I am. I just hope they let you take a carry-on bag. Look, I'm gonna put in these polaroids that we took at the club.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Book 'em, duck-o.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Beverly: Okay. Alright. Turn me into a dark overlord. I'll still spit in your wormy face!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: I need this like I need another tail.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Howard T. Duck: It's alright, Toots.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page