Heartbreak Ridge (1986)
Highway: I been pumping pussy since Christ was a corporal. I can tell you, the best damned poontang I ever paid for was in Da Nang. The girls were checked out daily. And we got ourself laid in a safe, orderly, proficient, military manner. That is until some suckhead writes home mama and says he dipped his wick in the Republic of South Vietnam. Then the shit hits the fan. A committee of congressmen who asshole to asshole who couldn't make a beer fart in a whirlwind, start telling your basic-ass-in-the-grass, Marine " No more short time ". We responded in true Marine Corps fashion. We salute, do an about face, double time back to the boom-boom garbage dump where we get the clap, and the drip, and the crabs and a generally poor attitude towards the female of the species. War is hell, boy. That's a fact!
Highway: My name's Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together. Now Major Powers has put me in charge of this reconisence platoon.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: We take care of ourselves.
Highway: You couldn't take care of a wet dream. God loves you.
Collins: I know that!
Highway: You men do not impress me!
Profile: Recon platoon kicks butt.
Highway: [grabs Profile by the nose] If you ladies think that you can slip and slide just because your last sergeant was a pussy, well queer bait, you're going to start acting like Marines right now!
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Who invited ya!
Highway: I'm not doing this because I want to take long showers with you assholes and I don't want to get my head shot off in some far away land because you don't habla, comprende?
Quinones: Yes, Gunney.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [singing] And you really look so fine and you've got that big behind.
Highway: [sees Jones] Well, well, well, well. I'm here to tell you that life as you knew it has ended. You all may as well go into town tonight. You may as well laugh and make fools out of yourselves. Rub your pathetic little peckers against your honies or stick it in a knothole in the fence but whatever it is, get rid of it. Because at 0600 tomorrow your ass is mine.
Highway: Where's your bunk.
Highway: [walking toward the barracks holding Jones by the ear] Where is it?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Where's what, man?
Highway: The money for my ticket.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hey, no need to resort to unnecessary violence. I was a little down on the money, you know, but I got a little money for you right here. But that's all I got.
[hands Highway some cash]
Highway: And the meal.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: The meal.
Highway: Yeah, the meal.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Ok, I got a little more for you here but that's definitely all I got.
Highway: And the tip.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: No, man, that's really it that's all I got.
Highway: You owe me.
[rips Jones' earring off]
Highway: Now it's my will against yours and you will lose. So don't forget, 0600. That's six o'clock in the morning for those of you who don't habla.
Swede Johanson: Gunny, I'm afraid of heights.
Highway: So am I.
Swede Johanson: You are?
Highway: Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft is not a natural act. So let's do it right, enjoy the view. Come on.
Jail Binger: I don't like soldier boys.
Highway: Say what?
Jail Binger: If you wanna pop that puppy's can you don't have to grease him so hard, jarhead.
Highway: Well, it sounds like you're a man of experience.
Jail Binger: What the hell's that supposed to mean, grunge shit.
Highway: It means: Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.
Jail Binger: Ain't gonna be so smart with your balls stuffed in your mouth, jarhead!
Highway: [hands cigar to the young man] Hang on to this, boy. I think war's just been declared.
Highway: Drop your cocks and grab your socks! Off your ass and on your feet. Let's move. Knees to the breeze in 5 minutes.
Profile: It's Goddam 5 o'clock. You said six!
Highway: So I lied. So I can't tell time. So maybe some communist bastard's going to make an appointment pop you a new asshole in your forehead. You're Marines now. You adapt. You overcome. You improvise. Let's move. Four minutes!
Highway: [in the head] We move swift. We move silent. We move deadly. Only one shake of those wangs ladies. Anymore than that consitutes pleasure and we're not in that business. Sleep well, Mr. Jones?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: This is a nightmare. A freakin' nightmare. Wake me up, Mama, please!
Marine: [outside the barracks] The platoon is formed for PT, Gunny.
Highway: Take your post. The Marines are looking for a few good men. Unfortunately you ain't it. We will blaze a path into battle for others to follow. Surrender is not in our creed. Let me here you say that.
Highway: Louder or the next time you leave this base for R&R you'll be collecting your pensions.
Highway: Oo-rah. Strip off those t-shirts.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Huh?
Highway: You'll all wear the same t-shirt or not at all.
[Platoon takes off shirts. Highway approaches Fragatti]
Highway: What's your name, Marine?
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Lance Corporal Fragatti, Gunny.
Highway: [takes off Fragatti's sunglasses and steps on them] Well, you shouldn't litter Fag-eddi. It's ecologically unsound.
[moves down the line]
Highway: What's your name?
Highway: Alright, Colitis, Cahones, Profilatics, Ajax. You boys are handsome. You ladies look like models. In fact I want your hair high and tight by tomorrow morning. When you start looking like Marines you'll start feeling like Marines and then, Goddamn it, you'll start acting like Marines. Platoon, ten-hut! Right face! Forward march!
Judge Zane: Thank you for your testimony, Officer Reese. Sergeant Highway, drunk and disorderly. Fighting in a public establishment. Urinating on a police vehicle?
Highway: Well, it seemed like the thing to do, sir.
Judge Zane: Just because there's no war going on does not give you the right to start one every time you get drunk. Now I'm taking into account your excellent military record and your commitment to the security of this great nation. But this is your last chance. One hundred dollar fine. Next!
Highway: [as he's leaving the courtroom] Your nightstick file for divorce, Reese?
Reese: [outside the courtroom] Who the hell do you think you are? Pissin' on my squad car. You think you can break our rules and then just walk away? Or are we supposed to wet our pants over your dress blues and your Goddamn colored ribbons. Take a look at that file of yours sometime, hero. Check the dates. It's ancient fucking history. You know, one of these Saturday nights you're going to be puking blood in some alley and you're going to look up and see me standing there. Then we'll see.
Highway: Keep dreaming, shit ball.
Reese: You're gonna pay full price rummy. I don't believe in no serviceman's discounts.
Highway: Too bad, your old lady does.
Sergeant Webster: This gonna go hard on all y'all if you don't cooperate.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: We ain't got nothing to say to you, Webster.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Why don't you go on back to that faggot first platoon and
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Don't go away angry. Just... just go away. You've been told.
Choozoo: We went up and down that pile of dirt for four days and four nights. Fixed bayonettes, hand to hand. Fought 'em something fierce. They gave back as good as they got. Lots of men died. We were with the 23rd infantry. We joined the Corps later. Hell, we were even younger than you are.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: I never heard of no Heartbreak Ridge.
Choozoo: That's 'cause it ain't in any of the history books. Just a little piece of war. Place didn't even have a name, just a number. Stoney Jackson took one look up at it and said "Ladies, if this hill doesn't kill us it'll surely break our hearts."
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Who's Stoney Jackson?
Choozoo: Little Mary's husband. He was the one who recommended Highway for his Congressional Medal of Honor.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Gunny Highway won the CMH?
Choozoo: He charged two machine gun nests by himself. He didn't sleep for 3 days. The final human wave he held off almost single handedly. When it was over there was me, Stoney Jackson and Tom Highway. We were the only ones left alive.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: What happened to Jackson?
Choozoo: He was killed in Khe Sanh in '68.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [approaching Highway] Just what the hell do you think you're doing?
Highway: Just enjoying the view, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Well, you disobeyed an order. I told you to stay in contact and not take this hill without me. Damn it! Get on your feet, Highway!
Highway: With all due respect, sir, you're beginning to bore the hell out of me.
[sees the helicopter landing and Colonel Meyers getting out]
Colonel Meyers: Who's in charge here?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I am, sir. Major Malcolm Powers.
Colonel Meyers: Did you lead this assault?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sir, Leutenant Ring and Gunnery Sergeant Highway disobeyed a direct order. I told them to wait for support but they went up this hill anyway.
Colonel Meyers: [to Highway] Why?
Highway: We're Marines, sir. We're paid to adapt, to improvise.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I gave the order to take this hill.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Ring, this is going to ruin your career.
Colonel Meyers: Are you new to the infantry, Major?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, sir. Just came over from supply.
Colonel Meyers: Were you good at that?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, sir!
Colonel Meyers: Well then, stick to it because you're a walking cluster fuck as an infantry officer. My men are hard chargers, Major! Leutenant Ring and Gunny Highway took a handfull of young fire pissers, exercised some personal initiative and kicked ass!
[to Lt Ring]
Colonel Meyers: Good job, Leutenant!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you, sir!
Colonel Meyers: Leutenant, see to it that those students are escorted back to Cherry Point.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Yes, sir!
Colonel Meyers: [to Powers] Well, you're dismissed!
[Highway and Choozoo approach]
Colonel Meyers: What the hell are you two sorry assed individuals looking at? Get the hell off of my LZ.
Colonel Meyers: Oo-rah!
Highway: Well, Chooz, I guess we're not 0-1-1 anymore.
[toasting a fallen comrade]
Choozoo: Here's to J.J. and all the pieces of him we couldn't find.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: [bumps into Highway] Excuse me, sir. I mean, Gunny. Sergeant Major
Choozoo: Sir. This is Gunnery Sergent Thomas Highway. He's been assigned to Recon Platoon.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Oh, outstanding, welcome aboard. Well, I have to hightail it men. I'm late for pre-SCUBA school.
[looks at Highway's ribbons]
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Lord!
Highway: His Mama know he's playing Marine?
Choozoo: By the way, he's Lt. Ring. Your platoon leader.
Highway: Thanks a lot.
Choozoo: You didn't think you were just gonna tilt nipple to a bunch of no rank fuzz butts did you?
Highway: I guess not.
Choozoo: Want me to intro you to your troops.
Highway: No, I'll take care of it.
Choozoo: Here, take my pickup.
Highway: Hey, thanks. Where is it?
Choozoo: You can tell by the sign. It says Sergeant Major.
Highway: Hey, Baby. You fool around on the first date?
Little Mary: Oooooo.
Little Mary: Damn you, boy, don't you know how to write or call?
Highway: Well, I didn't want you to spend any sleepless nights thinking about me.
Little Mary: Come on, I'll get you a beer.
Highway: Great. I could use one.
[sits at bar]
Highway: You look great. They don't make 'em like you anymore.
Little Mary: Oh, hell, sure they do. But if you want a lot from a woman you have to give a lot.
Highway: Not this kid. It seems that marriage and the Marine Corps weren't too compatable.
Little Mary: Panther piss. The best years of my life were spent with a Marine. If I were a little younger I'd make you eat your words and curl your toes.
Highway: I bet you could.
Little Mary: Aggie always kept a smile on your face.
Highway: That was pain.
Little Mary: She's in town Tom.
Highway: I figured as much. Well, if she's looking for more alimony she's in real trouble because I've got myself so broke I couldn't get out of sight if it took a quarter to go around the world.
Little Mary: She's cocktailin' over at the Palace.
Highway: I figured she'd be married to a general by now. Can I get my old room back?
Little Mary: Hell yes. You gonna go see her?
Highway: Hell no. Can I run a tab on this?
Little Mary: Hell no.
Highway: Tough woman. Tough, tough woman.
Sergeant Webster: Highway, I heard you was back.
Sergeant Webster: These retards couldn't fight their way out of a shit house.
Highway: That where you been keeping yourself lately?
Highway: Major Powers and me are building an elite company of fightin' men.
Highway: Webster, the only thing you could build is a good case of hemmorhoids.
[taps Fragatti on the head]
Lance Corporal Fragatti: What? What?
Highway: Well, you're blowing away all of your ammunition, Fag-eddy. Miss I ain't America's gonna make Swiss cheese out of you.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: It's not my fuckin' fault, man. The fuckin' weapon's fuckin' fucked up.
Highway: [takes rifle and fires at target] There's nothing wrong with that rifle. Keep it tight.
[moves down to Jones]
Highway: You wake up this morning with a piss pot on your head?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Uh, no, Gunny, I wore this in your honor.
Highway: Is that right?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Yeah, you know, Sands of Iwo Jima, Pork Chop Hill, Kason, all that old antique shit. Sort of a tribute to an aging veteran close to retirement such as yourself.
Highway: Well, I'm touched.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Yeah, you know, sort of a recon way of saying welcome and ineveitably, goodbye.
Highway: And the kevlar helmet you were issued, that didn't by chance find it's way into one of the local pawn shops in town now did it?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hey, hey, yo, that's a serious implication, Gunny. You know, we're financially responsible for these bad boys.
Highway: That's right, you are, that's why I want to see kevlar on your head by 1900 hours or you won't have a head to put it on.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Yes, sir, Gunny Highway Sergeant, sir!
Profile: Hey, Gunny. My weapon's jammed!
[stands and the rifle goes off]
Sergeant Webster: [as the platoon is marching back] Major Powers' gonna teach you how to discipline your men.
Highway: Webster, if Powers ever comes to a sudden stop your face is gonna go half way up his ass.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Profile's never gonna make it back to the barracks.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Powers is cold blooded, man.
Highway: [after Profile falls] Come on, Profile. You can make it. Don't give the prick the satisfaction.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [after Profile fell down, Highway speaks to him, then Profile runs off] What did you say to him?
Highway: I said "Don't give the prick the satisfaction," sir!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: This man has usurped authority and ignored my personal directives for over a week. Why, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I thought the training exercise was...
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: You think too much and act too little. You are supposed to be an officer. Now look that word up in your platoon leader's handbook.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Who gave you permission to deviate from the training schedule?
Highway: I needed to evaluate my men, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: They're not your men, you self-centered, egocentric, son-of-a-bitch! They're the United States Marine Corps men! The Second Division's men! The Eighth Marine Regiment's men! In other words, they're MY men and SO ARE YOU, GET IT?
Highway: The only thing I'll get is my head shot off if I go into a hot landing zone with a platoon that doesn't know it's job.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: You will follow my training program to the letter. No questions asked.
Highway: You go into combat tomorrow and you'll plant half those men.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: You did it on your own, didn't you?
Highway: I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Well, you make it easy.
[pick up the phone]
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I gave the Gunny permission to freelance his, I mean, the men, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [slams down the phone] Wait outside, Ring.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I'm going to run you out of the corps, Highway. And you know what's funny? You're going to do all the work. Sooner or later you'll disregard procedure, disobey an order, or just get drunk. You can't help it. You're too old, too prideful, too stupid to change. I'm going to enjoy seeing you fall, Highway. Now get out and send in that idiot, Ring.
Highway: [leaves office and speaks to Lt Ring] He wants to see you, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sorry.
Highway: No reason to be. Lieutenant? Recon!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Your DD 1348 forms are not filled out correctly.
Choozoo: Yes, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: We're going to approach this exercise in an orderly proficiant manner, Sergeant Major. I want each round of ammunition counted and returned in the exact condition in which it was received.
Choozoo: I'll personally dot the I's and cross the T's, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sloppiness breeds inefficiency.
[Ring and Highway approach]
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Your outfit looks like it could use some cleaning up, Gunny.
Highway: Sir, I'd like to issued my squad leader a set of night vision goggles.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Darn, I should have thought of that.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: That is not part of your TO&E.
Highway: But, sir, I...
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Fill out the proper request forms and send it through the chain of command!
Highway: Request forms!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [Colonel gets out of car] Atten-shun! Major Malcom Powers, sir. Annapolis class of '71.
Colonel Meyers: How are men doing, Major?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: My men are ready to fight to the death to defend our country, sir.
Colonel Meyers: Well, let's hope that won't be necessary.
[Looks at Highway]
Colonel Meyers: Have we ever served together?
Highway: I don't know, sir. Sergeant Major Choozoo and I were in the 2nd Battalion and 7th in '68.
Colonel Meyers: I had a rifle company in the 1st Battalion and 7th in '68.
Highway: Well, we sure as hell chewed some of the same dirt, sir.
Colonel Meyers: That's for sure. What's your assessment of this exercise?
Highway: It's a cluster fuck.
Colonel Meyers: Say again?
Highway: Marines are fighting men, sir. They shouldn't be sitting around on their sorry asses filling out request forms for equipment they should already have.
Colonel Meyers: Interesting observation. Carry on, Major.
PA Announcer: Now hear this. Now hear this.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: This is it. We're going to war.
Major G.F. Devin: At ease. That'll be all Sergeant Major.
Sergeant Major in Court: Aye, aye, sir.
Major G.F. Devin: Oh, for Christ sake Highway, relax. Stop being so damn gung ho.
Highway: That's what I am, sir.
Major G.F. Devin: What do you got about 24 in now Highway?
Highway: And then some, sir.
Major G.F. Devin: You know, some men in your position might look forward to retirement. Maybe think about taking the wife on an around the world cruise. But that's not your way, is it? No. Instead you choose to harrang my staff with a request for transfer to a fleet marine force unit. In fact the very unit you got busted out of some time ago for insubordination. Conduct unbecoming.
Highway: [woman marine enters office] That's true, major, I have had my differences with some limp dicks.
Major G.F. Devin: Highway!
Major G.F. Devin: You know, I truly don't know whether to admire ya or resent the living hell out of of ya. Well, I guess it doesn't matter either way because you are out of here effective immediately.
Highway: Where to, sir?
Major G.F. Devin: 2nd Recon Battalion. 2nd Marine Division. You're goin' home.
Highway: Yes, sir!
[Turns to leave]
Major G.F. Devin: Gunny Highway.
Major G.F. Devin: Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I want this battalion to be the class of the division. I expect my non-commissioned officers to lead by example. Public fighting and insubordination to civilian authority are not what I call good standards!
Highway: It was a minor altercation, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: That seems to be a habit with you, Gunny! A year ago you hit an officer. I went to Annapolis with that man. You try that with me, Gunnery Sergeant Highway and you'll drag your butt in a sling for a month, you hear me, marine?
Highway: Yes, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I don't know what strings you pulled to get back into this division but I can assure you that I don't like it. This is the new Marine Corps. The new breed. Characters like you are an anachronism. You should be sealed in a case that reads break glass only in the event of war. Got no tolerance for you old timers who think that you know it better and can have it all your own way. Understand?
Highway: I understand a lot of body bags get filled if I don't go my job, sir.
Choozoo: Major, division has assigned Gunny Highway to our reconisance platoon.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, recon. Their last sergeant was an old time combat vet, too. But he went road on me. Retired on active duty. Had a few months to retirement. Figured he'd coast. Allowed the men to lapse into mediocrity. You're close to mandatory retirement yourself, aren't you, Highway?
Highway: That's right, Major.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Well, I ask for Marines, the division sends me relics. The men in recon platoon are less than highly motivated to say the least. I want those men in shape.
Highway: I'll make life takers and heart breakers out of them, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Dismissed.
Highway: [after leaving the major's office] Is he always like that or is he just trying to make a good impression?
Choozoo: Word is that he consults the Marine Corps Manual before he mounts his old lady just to make sure that he performs in an...
Choozoo: Yeah, eat chow with Helen and me tonight, she can't wait to see you. Then later we'll go out and stomp some brain cells and tell some stories.
Highway: Well, I'd like to, Chooz, but I think I better get organized.
Choozoo: Sure, I understand.
Choozoo: Hey crotch rot! You gonna slurp my lifer's juice out of my own cup?
Highway: Yeah, I guess I should have gotten shots before hand.
Choozoo: If your brain was half as smart as your mouth, skunk stool, you'd be a frickin' twenty star general by now.
Choozoo: And if I were half as ugly as your, Sergeant Major, I'd be a poster boy for a profilactic.
Choozoo: Still a mean and nasty bastard! Goddamn! Good to see you, Tom. Back where you belong!
Highway: Easy now, or everyone's gonna thing I'm spoken for.
Choozoo: [seeing the major in the doorway] Ten-hut! Morning, sir!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sergeant Major.
Choozoo: Coffee, sir?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Negative.
Highway: Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway, reporting for duty, sir.
[Major Powers turns and walks away]
Choozoo: That operations officer's fart hole's sewed so tight he shits out of his mouth.
Choozoo: Big time football hero.
Highway: When am I ever going to get a break?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sergeant Major!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Bring in Gunnery Sergeant Highway.
[looking at Highway's file]
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Been in a long time.
Highway: I've felt some heat, sir.
Choozoo: Korea. Dominican. Three tours in 'Nam. Hell, this old ass in the grass bulldog's carrying around so much shrapnel he can't pass through an airport metal detector.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I haven't as yet had the privelige of combat. I've recently come over from supply and logistics.
Choozoo: An unappreciated field of endevour, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Quite. My record of achievement thus far as been exemplary. I fully intend for that to continue.
Marine: Just about cleaned you out. Sure makes you feel good, don't it, Gunny? Helping Uncle Sam battle dirty drawers.
Highway: You pump the neighbor's dog again, Jakes, or are you always slack eyed and silly in the afternoon.
Marine: Looks like you could use a little lift, Highway. Why don't you suck on one of these. Smooth as a prom queen's thigh only not quite as risky. Havana cured. Gotta pal over in Guantanamo in supply. We do each other favors. I've got lots of friends. Of course, I could always use another friend.
Highway: So that we can do each other favors?
Marine: Sure. See, if your pencil wasn't quite so sharp and your eyesight not quite so clear around here I could make your lot in the military life a lot more comfy. Not to mention down right rewardin'.
Highway: Sergeant, you get that contraband stogie out of my face before I shove it so far up your ass you'll have to set fire to your nose to light it.
USMC: Gunny Highway! Major Devin wants to see you ASAP.
Highway: You're dead, marine. You just got your legs blown off and we'll have to send out a search party for your testicles. Now, where the hell's your backup?
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Profile.
Highway: What the fuck good you doin' back there? Without any cover fire, I get my ass blown off! While you guys are sittin' there pumpin' the neighbor's dog, we'll get every swinging dick in this platoon killed!
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hey, chill out, man. That's what we're here for.
Highway: Say, what?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: We're here for that, man. We've ambushed Major Powers three times, and always right here. We know what we're doing.
Highway: Well, shit-for-brains, who says we're gonna ambush Major Powers right here?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hey, didn't you hear Lieutenant Ring? Major Powers wants us to die in a loud, grotesque, military manner.
Highway: I don't give a fuck about Major Powers. My job is to keep you men alive, now let's move on.
[1st Platoon is approaching the abush site]
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: We'll come to the ambush site over the next hill.
Sergeant Webster: Roger that.
Choozoo: Sure does help knowing when and where you're gonna be hit, sir.
[Recon watching 1st Platoon pass through a valley]
Highway: Easy. Give them a few more yards and we'll nail the coffin shut. Now.
[Recon begins firing]
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [Reacting to his Miles Gear going off] You're in the wrong ambush site! Cease fire! You're in the wrong ambush site!
[Sees Highway grinning at him]
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sergeant Major, turn this damn thing off.
Choozoo: Makes a hell of a racket, doesn't it, sir?
Highway: This is the AK-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy; and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you, so remember it.
Highway: Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.
Reese: You know one of these days you'll be puking blood in some alley and you're going to look up and see me standing there!
Highway: Keep dreaming, shitball!
Reese: You're going to pay full price Rummy! I don't give no serviceman's discount!
Highway: That's too bad, you're old lady does.
Highway: Shut your face, hippie!
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hippie?
[whispers in ear]
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: There haven't been hippies in centuries. Are you freeze-dried or doing hard time?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: If you weren't wearin' those stripes, I'd kick your fuckin' ass around the fuckin' block... yeah... but since I'm not into violence, I'll refrain from kickin' your ass at this time.
Highway: Get in there. Tell them who you are, so no friendlies get hurt.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hello happening hostages! I'm Stitch Jones, Mr. Funkadelic!
Highway: Try "U.S. Marine", shithead...
Highway: [to Corporal Jones after leaving Aponte's house] If you pull another shithead stunt like that again, the only thing that'll beat you to the brig is the headlights on the ambulance you'll be riding in.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Morning, men! I thought I'd lead you through this exercise. Can't find Gunny Highway, though...
[Highway appears behind a makeshift building at the training site and sprays live bullet fire]
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: [dives for cover] Jesus Christ, what was that?
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Sir! That is the AK-47 Assault Rifle!
Profile: The preferred weapon of our enemy...
Collins: And it makes a distinctive sound when fired at us, Sir!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: [still dazed] Yeah... I guess it does!
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Prisoners secured sir!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you, Lance Corproal. CORPORAL Jones.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [Jones moves forward] Sir!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Move'em out.
Sergeant Webster: Major Powers and I are building an e-lite company of fighting men.
Highway: The only thing you could build, Webster... is a good case of hemorrhoids.
Swede Johanson: [Gunny Highway has decked the much-larger Swede Johanson, who rises slowly from the floor, expecting appropriate punishment; but Highway, recognizing the potential in the man, has other ideas] Sir, I'll wait outside for the MPs to come.
Highway: Negative, Johanson! You're going to become a Marine, right now.
Swede Johanson: [incredulous look as he realizes he will not be sent to the stockade]
Highway: [softly] Fall out...
Swede Johanson: Yes, sir.
[rushes outside to join the platoon]
Highway: Why don't I bend you over the table there... send you home with the "I just pumped the neighbor's cat" look on your face.
Swede Johanson: I'm gonna rip yer head off and shit down yer neck.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [while under heavy fire] I wish I was back in New Jersey, man, watching the Flintstones!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: All right, you devil dogs, let's take that fuckin' hill!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: [approaching platoon] Good morning, men!
[responding to salute]
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you, Gunny. What a marvelous day for a military exercise. Men, today we'll will execute an ambush on a numerically superior force using cover, interlocking fields of fire, and the natural aggressiveness of the United States Marine.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: You show me some poontang and I'll show you an aggressive Marine.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: We will provide Major Powers and his elite fighting force an accessable target to sharpen their superior skills. This will be facilitated by the Miles Gear that each man is wearing. As you know, when one of our men is shot this laser sensative device emits a beeping noise.
Highway: Excuse me, Lieutenant, but are you suggesting that we don't fight back?
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Well, no, Gunny, Major Powers like to use the Recon platoon as a training tool.
Highway: Well, what happens when these men have to go into combat and they're not prepared? They just get dead.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Yes, I see what you mean.
Highway: Have you spoken to Major Powers about this?
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Let's move them out, Gunny.
Highway: Are you coming with us, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Uh, no, Gunny. I have a doctor's appointment at 1100.
Highway: Well, let's hope it's not something that'll keep you out of the next war. Platoon, ten-hut! Sling arms! Right face! Forward march!
Aggie: Bad sex, bad whiskey and bad marriages, I never forget.
Highway: You never talked dirty like that when we were married.
Aggie: Yes I did; you were just never around to hear it.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: [removing a staple from a bundle of reports] Gunny, did you know that I was Platoon Leader in my ROTC class in college?
Highway: I'll sleep a lot better at night knowing that, sir.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you.
[pokes finger with staple]
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Ow! What school did you go to?
Highway: Heartbreak Ridge.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Hmmm. I've never heard of that school.