Head Office (1985)

Don Novello: Sal

Quotes 

• [Sal's car is destroyed] 

  Sal : My tape! My Julio Iglesias tape!

• [Jack and Max's limo is surrounded by hundreds of angry protesters] 

  Max Landsberger : This is death! Let's get the hell out of here.

  [Jack opens the limo door and gets out] 

  Max Landsberger : Jack, what are you doing?

  Jack Issel : Max, this is a great opportunity for us! There's TV news cameras out there.

  Max Landsberger : Jack, get back in the car. Get back in the car!

  [Jack walks off into the crowd] 

  Max Landsberger : [to Sal]  Sal, I'm going out there. Keep the motor running.

  Sal : I'm not going to do that, sir. The motor could heat up or...

  Max Landsberger : [interrupting]  Sal, do me a favor.

  Sal : What's that, sir?

  Max Landsberger : Don't call me "sir". These people are gonna think I'm in charge here. Call me Max.

  Sal : Max. Sure, no problem... Max.

• Max Landsberger : [on Jack Issel's answering machine]  Jack, hi, this is Max Landsberger, I'm in charge of new recuits at INC. I'll be showing you around for the first few days. Now, you'll be starting with Frank Stedman on the 41st floor. I'll meet you at his office at nine. Oh, and congratulations, Jack. You really scored getting Stedman. He's goin' right to the top.

  Frank Stedman : [into a phone in his car]  Sid! It's Frank Steadman! I'm dead!

  Sid : [over the phone]  Frank...

  Frank Stedman : Finished!

  Sid : ...just relax!

  Frank Stedman : Helmes swore he wouldn't announce this move until Christmas! It's the goddamn headline in the Journal!

  Sid : Hey, no problem, Frank.

  Frank Stedman : The SEC's gonna want to know why...

  Sid : Hey, we can take care of everything...

  Frank Stedman : ...I sold 50,000 Allenville shares...

  Sid : ...just relax!

  Frank Stedman : ...the day before we torpeded the plant!

  Sid : Frank, Frank, can you hold on just a second there?

  Frank Stedman : I could go to jail!

  Sid : Can you hold?

  Frank Stedman : No, I can't hold! What do you- huh? Sid, Sid! Crap!

  [to Sal] 

  Frank Stedman : Will you get this thing movin'?

  Sal : [calmly]  We're stuck in a traffic jam, sir; I'm not the great Houdini.

  Frank Stedman : Well, blow your horn like everybody else!

  Sal : Only a fool blows his horn in a traffic jam, sir.

  [Steadman, still holding the phone in his left hand, gets up, comes forward, leans over the front seats, and begins pressing on the steering wheel horn with his right] 

  Frank Stedman : [seconds later, into phone]  Please, please, please, just pick up, please! Come on, come on, God, please, Sid-

  [click] 

  Frank Stedman : Sid!

  Sid : Frank?

• Jack Issel : [1:01:17]  I can't believe I said that on national TV.

  Sal : [also drunk]  That limo cost seventy-five THOUSAND dollars.

  Max Landsberger : Damn it, Jack! We went out there to tell them OUR side of the story. We didn't go out there to tell them the truth!

  Sal : And the limo company's gonna have my ass for this.