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Hamburger: The Motion Picture
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13 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

a good bad movie

Author: the-jerk from Newark, DE
23 May 2005

All I can say is, if you're REALLY interested in quality when watching a movie, stay away from this one. This has the unholy trinity: bad acting, bad writing, and bad directing. But maybe that's part of its appeal, if you're into that sort of thing. As someone who used to watch "USA Up All Night" with Gilbert Gottfried and Rhonda Shear, I love this movie. As bad 80s movies go, this is one of the more watchable.

The main character is Russell, a guy who's been thrown out of college after college for having sex with the co-eds. So for some reason, he decides to go to Hamburger University to learn to work at a fast food restaurant (and subsequently to keep it in his pants, as if one leads to the other). Of course, all of the lame s*** you're expecting to happen does happen, but watch it anyway, because some of it is pretty funny. Watch out for the names: Mrs. Vunk, Mrs. Gottbottom, and did you know that there's a country called Guacamole (not pronounced GWOK-a-mole; it's gwok-a-MOL-ee!)? There were a lot of puns that I found myself laughing at despite myself, including the names of some foods at the Chinese restaurant they eat out at (one character in more ways than one) and the Frying Nun (watch and you'll find out). And when they all yell "Put that cookie down motherf***er!" at the little girl, I thought I would die laughing. And the part at the beginning, with the old lady dying of a heart attack in the drive-thru line from being insulted by the guy she's trying to order from? Priceless. Watch out for Dick Butkus (in one of the main roles; he's the biggest celebrity in the movie) as a sort of drill sergeant at Hamburger U; whatever you're expecting about Dick Butkus's acting ability, you're probably right.

Sure it's stupid, lame, crude, and completely disposable. But there's also lots of naked women and fart jokes. If you are the type who can find the merits of some bad movies, you should give this one a try. I haven't seen it in years; I don't think it's been released on DVD yet, but I'd love to see it be.

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13 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

Major screw up get one last chance from his parents at Hamburger U.

Author: sailorcartman1 from United States
24 July 2006

However unintentional, this is one of the greatest bad 80's movies ever. It is also one of the most quotable, as my friends and I quote this quite often. "Put those cookies back, M*****f****r!", and of course "We reserve the right to refuse service to a******s like you".

The lines just don't stop in this film. I cannot think of an 80's movie I quote more than this one. They probably thought they were just making another 80's teen T&A flick. However, it turned out to be so much more than that. This is a classic not to be missed by anyone with a twisted sense of humor. I believe this film to be grossly under rated for the classic 80's comedy it is. It blows many other films considered classic in the genre out of the water.

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9 out of 11 people found the following review useful:

The Best Movie Since "Hot Dog... The Movie"

Author: pkatcher ( from New York, NY
4 April 2001

Wherever they house the formula that was made to concoct this movie, they should lock it up and throw away the key.

It was that good!

To try to duplicate this cinematic magic would be an injustice, similar to the tragic stringing out of Police Academy action thrillers.

Jack Blessing was brilliant in his challenging role of Nacio Herb Zipser. His performance was surpassed perhaps only by John Young as Prestopopnick, who proved that mind can indeed overcome matter when it comes to the vices of junk food.

And who says there are no positive roles for women in Hollywood? Randi Brooks and Karen Mayo-Chandler, who played Mrs. Vunk and Dr. Gotbottom, respectively, proved action speaks louder than words when they showed off plenty of T&A.

It was sad to a movie like Platoon clean up as the Oscars, while Hamburger... The Motion Picture was shunned by a shamelessly and unapologetic vegetarian Tinseltown.

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6 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

One of the better bad 80's movies

Author: tapedeck from United States
10 February 2005

I disagree with the other poster! This is a great example of a "B" movie, the only thing seriously wrong with it is that it has a terrible soundtrack. The acting isn't half bad, and it has Dick Butkis puts on a great performance. I can think of many worse films than this one! There are numerous sight gags that still hold up today, and it is (in a way) a valid commentary on the fast food industry. Perhaps this and "Supersize Me" would make a great double feature? In all fairness though, this is a "guy" kind of wife didn't quite think it was nearly as funny as I did. Perhaps an even better double feature would be "Nice Dreams" the Cheech and Chong movie. An entres and dessert........sort of!

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6 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Awesome late-night date flick with sexy moniker

Author: galaxy2069 from United States
12 May 2003

This poppy cheese classic from '86 is remembered by many through late night HBO and gas station rent-a-flix. The title of the film is appropriate, and it quickly lives up to that moniker during the opening credits. Watch out for lots of cool props like beds shaped like hamburgers, pickle torture chambers and Dick Butkus carrying a fly-swatter. There's also a deliciously slimy heap of farty 80's actors/actresses - Leigh McCloskey, Butkus, Randi Brooks, Sandy Hackett, as well as other various perverts. Worth mentioning is a quenching scene of an older heiress having her crotch orally massaged at a rib shack...Food for thought.

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6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Cheeze enthusiasts...

Author: mcfly-31 from anaheim, ca
22 July 2005

One of those guilty-pleasure, take it for what it is, so bad it's good, whatevers. In the wake of the "Police Academy" success, producers Feldman and Meeker---who made the legitimate "The Hitcher" the same year---picked up this script about life at a college university for fast-food franchise wannabes. The focal point is McCloughsky, who though a perennial flunk-out who lives at home, looks like he's in his mid-30s. He feels a last-ditch effort at an "education" is to attend a screwball Burger University with a group of over-cooked washouts of life. It's hard to offer an honest review on this, because I first saw it when I was 11. Back then it came off as comic genius, but revisiting it lately I realize how cornball and unrealistic it is. I mean, there's some good "bad taste" kind of jokes---old woman cussed out in a drive-thru, oral copulation in a Chinese restaurant---but again, most of the humor is in suspension of disbelief. Such as the student turned into a half-chicken, and a black guy "kidnapped" to the school to prove the burger chain isn't bigoted. Which is one of the areas where it crossed from bad taste to offensive, with a later sequence involving a black policeman being hurled epithets. This leads to an eye roller when said cop returns to join rioters in destroying one of the burger joints. And a BIG line crossed when the group of misfits in unison calls a five-year-old girl a "mother-f***er". But there's a good deal of clever puns on gherkins and "eating out", plus a spirited turn by the Dean of Burgers and some decent T&A. Along with a surprisingly catchy theme song, and a farting sequence that will forever obliterate any other film's attempts in the rest of the history of cinema. So with the above said, I think you have an idea of what you might be in for.

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6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Hamburger The Motion Picture is a great movie for all to see

Author: missymail from United States
22 July 2005

I loved this movie from the first time I saw it. It is so funny that I can not stop laughing once I get started. Sure it is an old movie, but I like to see it over and over.I never get tired of seeing all the humor that is packed into it.The pickle box is amazing. I think it should be recommended viewing for all fast food employees. It would be great if it was re released on DVD, so the next generations could watch it. It goes great with the Good Burger Movie. If you are into these old movies as I am, I recommend watching it at least once. If you are not aware of the fact that Hamburger Unviresity actually does exist. Mcdonalds has one to train future employees.

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7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

A flat out masterpiece...

Author: kaspianc ( from Minnesota
7 May 2003

What a great movie! When you think about it, this movie has it all: angry bikers, buxom babes, explosions, college hijinx, fast food, goofy nerds,a pool party, and Dick Butkus gives the performance of a lifetime. Four stars, A+, two thumbs up!!

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8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:

The pinnacle of cinematic comedy.

Author: Nic 420 from Holland, Michigan
19 August 1999

Hamburger... the Motion Picture is one of the best movies I've ever seen. Although minimally popular, I think that it stood near the top of all teen sex comedies. The classic lines just kept coming. Every time I see the movie I practically laugh all the way through it. Although I'm sure some hate the movie, if your looking for a high quality teen sex comedy, watch Hamburger... the Motion Picture.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

A bad movie but I like it anyway

Author: ihaveironballs from usa
25 January 2003

Most people will hate this movie but it's one of my all time favorites. The plot involves a guy who needs to get a college degree so he can receive an inheritance. So he chooses to go to 'hamburger college'. Hijinks ensue. "Bun Shakers!!!!"

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