Alternate versions for
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) More at IMDbPro »

In the theatrical version, Ferris says "Cameron's so tight, that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in 2 weeks it would turn into a diamond." In the TV version, he says "Cameron's so tight, that if you stuck a lump of coal in his fist, in 2 weeks it would turn into a diamond."
A line in the theatrical version is "The man could squash my nuts into oblivion." The TV version replaces "nuts" with a *very* badly-overdubbed "brains."
In the TV Version, Cameron's "Piece of Shit" car is referred to by Ferris as a "Piece of Tin".
Two different versions of the closing credits exist. On the widescreen DVD, the scene of Rooney getting picked up by the bus runs, split-screened, next to credits over a black field. On the full-frame NTSC laserdisc, Rooney's scene is in full-frame, with the credits chyroned over the lower quarter of the screen.