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Cobra
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144 out of 191 people found the following review useful:

SYNOPSIS: It made me want to kick my own *ss.

10/10
Author: rootbeerbrains from United States
7 January 2005

YOU CAN'T TELL ME the first time you saw Stallone do a complete 180 in that pimped out ride, hang that sweet lookin' gun out of the window, and knock off a few caps at the bad guy as he drove in REVERSE (!!) that you didn't get a little tingly in your gut in a good way.

People... I think we need to have a Come-To-Jesus about this movie. I can't believe I actually saw such low approval stats from all age brackets. Lemme just holler and the children of the '80s: what the hell are you thinking? Stallone and Schwartzenegger were bigger than life back then, and there's no love.... Now there's nothing but CGI, bigger explosions, crazier guns, fake boobies, more authentic-looking aliens, all the things I like in movies -- wait a second.

You know, I realize Stallone will never win Best Actor... I realize Stallone will never die, probably, he's always in such damn good shape... and I also realize that his face will never straighten up so he can talk correctly, but there's one thing I do know... I give this movie a 10, and I hope it feels like the giant peanut butter sandwich you just ate without a glass of milk anywhere in sight!

I need a glass of rootbeer... BARTENDER!

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115 out of 164 people found the following review useful:

80's entertainment at it's best

10/10
Author: lonewolf-38 from Austin Tx
17 June 2003



First of all....to all the people who bash this film, I have one question for you. Did you see the cover? If after seeing the cover, Stallone with sunglasses an Uzi in his hand and a match in his mouth, and you still rented this and hated it you deserve what you get. If you want to watch "Masterpiece Theater" and pretend not to be bored then go ahead. Leave action movies for the fans of the genre.

This movie doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not. It's a violent, campy, 80's Stallone vehicle that is a lot of fun.

Cobra is a cool character with catchy one liners and an awesome 50 Merc Coup. He wears sunglasses and a match in his mouth. A rouge cop who works the zombie squad and is a lonely guy until he meets an aspiring model who he's been hired to protect.

If you dont like Stallone then this film will not change you're mind.

4 **** stars

Ps. The movie is an editing masterpiece. Edited by Don Zimmerman who edited "Being There"

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90 out of 132 people found the following review useful:

One of my favorite movies

10/10
Author: Teemu J. Päiste (teemu.paiste@pp.inet.fi) from Turku, Finland
4 March 1999

Let me start by saying that I fully understand all the people who hate this film. After all, it is a violent, often extremely stupid macho-actioner which falls apart if you start to think it's contents for a second. Its characters are one-dimensional and there's really not much plot or dialogue. But while many others think of the above as a bad thing, I think I've just described the recipe for a perfect action film.

I recently watched "Vampires" on DVD and listened to John Carpenter's commentary and one comment amused me. When James Woods and his crew were outside a building supposedly filled with vampires, everyone was wearing vests and neckpieces which protected them from being bitten except James Woods and Carpenter said about this something like "You can see how everyone is wearing vests except James Woods because he's so tough". Such is the case with Cobra also. All the other cops are dressed like...well, cops, but Stallone, he really stands out from the crowd in a positive way with his tight jeans, T-shirts, a pair of really cool (and very 80s) sunglasses and a match in his mouth (which I thought was a very nice touch). And why does he look like this? You guessed it - because he's so tough.

As I said before, there's not much plot and what there is, is pretty stupid and generic. We have seen it many times before and we will (I hope!) see it many times in the future but hey, if it ain't broken, why fix it? Of course there are several people who think it has always been broken.. There are some sequences and dialogue in Cobra which are almost embarrassingly stupid such as the opening shot where the team of killers are weaving axes to the air and then there are the legendary lines "The court is civilized, isn't it...pig?" "But I'm not.. This is where the law stops..and I start..sucker!" but I'm just so glad that they included these scenes (even though they probably knew that the critics wouldn't like them) because they are my favorite scenes in the movie.

This is a movie which has a very, very specific target audience and the reason for all the bad reviews is probably the fact that unlike other movies like this, this was for some reason targeted to a wider audience and of course, many people didn't like it. Not because Cobra is a bad movie but because they just don't like films like this. Surprisingly the other movie which was also based on Paula Gosling's novel, the William Baldwin-Cindy Crawford -actioner "Fair Game" suffered the same fate. Needless to say, I also liked that film a lot.

I know most people don't like the movies that I like and that's OK but I want others to know that I personally have seen probably over a thousand action movies and this is one of my all-time favorites and that there are many, many others who have truly enjoyed Cobra and it has become a cult classic to action fans worldwide. And when everyone starts to really think about it, Cobra may just be the perfect movie. There are so many films made in the 90s which are OK. They are not great but they don't suck either. Cobra, however, has all the ingredients that action fans love and others hate. It doesn't leave anyone cold, you either love it or you hate it. But I'll say this: If you like films like "Schindler's List" or "Shakespeare in Love" and you rent a film with a tagline "Crime is a disease. Meet the cure. COBRA", you truly deserve what you see!

Cobra is an excellent action movie because of a great macho performance (I loved the deep voice!) and screenplay from Stallone, a truly phenomenal score from my favorite composer Sylvester Levay, tight editing by Don Zimmerman and good cinematography by Ric Waite (who was also the director of photography in my other favorite, "Marked for Death" starring Steven Seagal). I also praise the director, George P. Cosmatos, although I haven't liked his other movies as much as this.

Anyway, the name and the tagline really says it all. You're either going to love or hate this and all I can say is, if you look for any intelligence in a movie, don't see it. I do, but not in an action movie. Actually, I don't even want action films to be smart or sophisticated. For me, Cobra delivers! I give it a full 10/10.

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76 out of 117 people found the following review useful:

Stallone 4 Life; Kick **s Movie

8/10
Author: JackBravo69 from Casablanca
7 August 2003

Cobra is a highly entertaining underrated action flick that guarantees the viewer a great show.

I always liked Sylvester Stallone. I don't think the man was ever given the credit he deserved as a writer/actor. I'm not saying he's Orson Welles but he's a competent, charismatic lead and throughout his career he's given audiences some very entertaining movies, where we can escape the real world and fly to this imaginary place where the good guys win and villains get what they deserve.

Cobra is another one of those movies. It's not deep, it has a social message but doesn't really care about it. Its just pure old fun.

The night slasher kills people randomly. He targets anyone, anywhere. The police don't have a clue, they can't stop him, all they can do is wait for the next death. But that all changes when Ingrid gets a good clear look at the chief of the gang. Yes, it's not one person, it's a group of killers that have set their minds on hunting the weak of society. Now they'll do anything to kill the only witness, the woman that can finish their `dream' but they didn't count on one man: Marion Cobretti.

The movie plays with the idea that murderers use the system to get away with their crimes. It explores the fear in society, the impotence of the courts and introduces Cobretti, a cop who doesn't care about the law only his justice. Although I don't agree with this I still enjoyed the movie since Stallone didn't spend much time making his point, rather went fast for the action.

I have to say his writing is just fantastic. There are wonderful lines and I couldn't stop laughing at some dialogs, especially in the first scene in the supermarket. That scene is just amazing! It has tension, humor and Stallone plays it perfectly.

He is the classic loose cannon. The cool car, the shades, a match for toothpick and the gun with a cobra. I mean, how can u dislike this. It's so cool, so innocent, so out of it. It's what movies are all about. Cobretti is invincible, arrogant and doesn't really care about anything but getting the job done. A hundred bullets don't touch him but he needs only five to waste ten criminals. Stallone knows exactly what the movie and the character is all about and he makes it work. He has a perfect assistant directing, George P. Cosmatos. He gives space for Stallone to shine, to be `the man' but maintains a steady hand on the action, giving us some great sequences, especially in the fast and furious car chase.

The rest of the cast was also good. Brian Thompson was a threatening, hateful villain. Lee Garlington was scary a perfect match for Thompson. Brigitte Nielsen was sexy, beautiful and had great chemistry with Stallone.

I even loved that 80´s music. I'm nostalgic what can I do?

In its genre, Cobra is a fantastic film. Much better than most of today's action movies it remains a pleasure to watch.

Grenades, machine guns, a hot girl, loads of bad guys dead, a really cool ending and one trigger happy, tough cop. Loved it.

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40 out of 59 people found the following review useful:

Revenge of the 80's: Sylvester Stallone's hey days!

8/10
Author: Joseph P. Ulibas (sirjosephu@aol.com) from Sacramento, CA
26 September 2004

Cobra (1986) was one of the many star vehicles that showcased Sly Stallone. This happens to be one of his better ones. The cheese and sleaze factor hits the roof in this one as Stallone stars as maverick cop Cobratti (his first name is pretty silly and has to be heard). A group of underground psychos are brewing and have formed a cult of killing machines. Meanwhile a model (Brigitte Nielsen) has been marked for death after escapes from one of their minions clutches. It's up to Cobratti and his cop buddy (Reni Santori) to topple this blood thirsty cult. But can they do it?

I happen to enjoy this movie, it's so cheesy and sleazy and impossible not to like! Stallone mumbles and grunts his way through the film whilst Ms. Nielsen is nothing more than eye candy. Reni Santori mugs for the camera and does his best to deliver his goofy and inane dialog as the movie's designated comic relief. He also has bad timing in these movies because something always happens to him. The villains are pretty straight forward sweaty and delusional psychos who need to learn some basic manners.

If you like cheesy action movies with heavy doses of sleaze, this one's a sure winner. But if you're looking for something serious or poignant, look elsewhere because you ain't going to find it here!

Highly recommended!

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37 out of 55 people found the following review useful:

Very Underrated

Author: vandammekick
2 August 2003

This film deserves much more credit than it has received. Stallone is looking great with tight jeans and stubble chewing on a matchstick which comes in handy in the final bloodshed showdown. Stallone plays Marion Cobretti in a superb action packed thriller filled with one liners in a funny relationship with his partner played by Reni Santoni, sexual tension with his female witness in protective custody played by his then wife Brigitte Nielsen and a raging fury from Stallone intent on eliminating the ruthless killers headed by Brian Thompson (Arnold Schwarzenegger rips his heart out in The Terminator and Jean-Claude Van Damme knocks him out with one kick in Lionheart). These people mean business and Andrew Robinson (Scorpio in Dirty Harry) thinks that a subtle solution can easily be thought of to take them out but it is only Stallone's violent tactics that can ultimately save the day. Essentially Rambo with a badge with the heart of Rocky. Stallone fans will be very pleased in a film that combines all areas of cinema, not just action. Comedy, romance and a great cast complement this already excellent film that Stallone has written which incorporates material from Beverly Hills Cop when he was meant to play Axel Foley. Better that Eddie Murphy Played it because Stallone has a chance to make this two years on. Trivia: Eddie Murphy looks at the Cobra poster in Judge Reinhold's bedroom in Beverly Hills Cop II that Brigitte Nielsen is also in. If you like the Dirty Harry films, Steven Seagal cop films and a Stallone fan in general this is a great film with an excellent soundtrack. Talking of Steven Seagal and soundtrcks, on the trailer for Seagal's Marked For Death it features "Chase", a Sylvester LeVay track from Cobra.

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38 out of 60 people found the following review useful:

Where Rambo stops, Cobra Begins

7/10
Author: Tony Anthony (staying_alive1983@hotmail.com)
15 September 2003

With two Rambo movies, First Blood (1982) and Rambo : First Blood part II (1985) under his commando belt, Sylvester Stallone had confidently confirmed himself as the Box Office king of the Action Thriller genre. With all the gingoism and American flag waving that went with the comic strip adventures of the worlds favourite fictional viet nam vet, Stallone steps up a gear into Cobra (1986), one of the tightest, exciting, well written and under-rated action movies of the past few decades. Stallone takes British crime novelette Running Duck (US - Fair Game} from celebrated writer Paula Gossling and gives it the full Rambo gloss treatment. Gone from the novel is the alcoholic schizoid lead character and in his place is Marion Cobretti, the typical, four square Stallone character, and the story is all the better for this. Stallone' screenplay is pretty simple, and so is the under lying message that evil is a force that must be met on its own terms. So what we have is a violent actioneer chock full of punch ups, car chases and shooting. Sadly, the script isn't developed enough, and the Rocky elemnts so typical of Stallone's movies at this point, IE, the underdog hero who everyone is against, is used to the maxim here. Unlike the Rocky movies, the glare of humour isn't up to scratch, and so a great many of the lead characters are unlikeable. So what? Wasn't this the case with thrillers such as Seven or Resovoir Dogs? However, Rambo Director George Pan Cosmatos gives a fresh coat of paint to this particular movie, adding stylish touches of film noir to the action genre in a way that precceeds Face/Off (1997) and a whole host of successors. Bridgette Nielsen is the movies real surprise, giving a likeable and sincere performance as Helgar, under the watchful eye of her then Husband. What is really surprising is that Cosmatos manages to succesfully blend into the action genre touches of classic and contemporary horror movies such as Friday the Thirteenth and John Carpenters Halloween with the chilling depiction of the Night Slashers. The movie also contains some of the most exhilerating action and chase sequences, particularly in the movies climax, where Cobra lets rip unto the Night Slashers men. This is an under-rated gem, a very efficient Stallone/George Pan Cosmatos vehicle, and very possibly the best ever Menahem Golan, Yoram Globus/Cannon Film Group picture ever produced. .......................................................................

8/10

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27 out of 41 people found the following review useful:

Do you have a lifejacket?

Author: SuperfluousChap from Washington, DC
9 April 2004

This picture is classic 1980s action at its best and most cliche. My favorite scene is right at the top of the movie. Cobra is in a supermarket, on the trail of a guy who's killing safeway employees for fun. Cobra's in pursuit. He passes a 6-foot display case of Coors light. Stops. Cracks a can. Takes a sip. Tosses it on the floor. Continues in pursuit.

It reminds me of another 80s action flick few will remember called the Punisher with Louis Gossett Junior. Some dufus is carrying pizza into the torture chamber where LGJ is getting it. EXCEPT HE'S NOT GETTING IT, guys. He's already knocked the guy out with a punch and a pressure point maneuver. Then, Gosset neutralizes the pizza guy. But rather than let the pizza, which is all over the floor, go to waste, he kneels down, takes a couple of pieces, bites, then leaves the room as though nothing has happened.

I learned a lot from Cobra and Stallone's character, Marion Cobretti. First, I need to get a "nitro" option on my car so I can go as fast as he did. Second is a great line to reel in the girl, next time you're out on a date and she's using too much catsup on her fries.

"Do you have a lifejacket?" "Why" "To save all the french fries that are drowning."

This movie is a classic for 80s action lovers. I own the DVD and highly recommend it.

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12 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

beautiful script!

Author: senin777 from Moscow, Russian
20 November 2000

I'm very bad in english, i'm from Russia. But I'm fun of Stallone and don't keep silently. This film - classics! It don't have spare! All in it working for result. It's action in last type. In Russia, we have saying: all genius - simply. It's about this film. "Cobra" - as your picture at the wall - nice for your eyes. Sorry for my bad english! Now I'm go to gim - i want to be strong as Cobretti. Arnold and Van Damm, and Sigal - stupid before Stallone! They never made such beautiful script!

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27 out of 45 people found the following review useful:

A depressing reminder that for every rollicking action extravaganza like "Commando," we have a dozen more duds like "Cobra."

Author: Li-1
15 April 2005

Rating: * 1/2 out of ****

Cobra is an 80s flick all the way, made back in the days when macho action flicks featuring one-man armies reigned supreme, so it's technically a movie that should be right up my alley. But watching it again for the first time in over ten years, it serves more as a reminder that making a macho classic isn't quite as easy as it seems, and why Schwarzenegger's Commando will always be the standard by which the one-man army genre will be judged. Hell, forget Commando, I'd estimate Cobra is only about half as good as Dolph Lundgren's The Punisher, if that says anything about where this rates in the annals of 80s macho action cinema.

Sylvester Stallone stars as Lieutenant Marion Cobretti, a trigger-happy L.A. cop who shows little mercy to the scum of society. Naturally, he's the perfect man to protect a model (Brigitte Nielsen) who's the target of the Night Slasher (Brian Thompson), the head of a nasty cult that wants to create a new world order. They've got their sights set on Nielsen because she saw the Night Slasher exerting one of his more intense facial expressions on a particularly dark night, and that's apparently enough to deem her an eyewitness to a murder she clearly didn't see.

Anyway, it's obvious how the rest of the movie will play out; Cobretti will make out with the model, somehow keep her completely unharmed even when getting the both of them into lots of chases and shootouts, and he'll kill all the scum before riding off with the "babe" into the proverbial sunset. If you think I'm giving too much away, then you definitely haven't seen enough action movies.

While its an unwritten rule that one usually doesn't watch these kinds of action movies for plot, I think it's fair to say that one at least hopes for a fairly consistent flow in its narrative, or for the writer (in this case, Stallone himself) to offer up a compelling MacGuffin that bridges the action scenes well enough to hold interest between the shoot 'em up action. No such luck here; a fair portion of the plot is structured around the cult and their serial killings, but the film just glances over the cult's motives, and what is revealed sounds like it was (badly) ad-libbed by Brian Thompson on the spot.

Just as bad is the main story revolving around Cobretti protecting the model. Despite being a real-life couple at the time, Stallone and Nielsen have no chemistry, making their scenes together painfully awkward and unconvincing. Even Schwarzenegger and Rae Dawn Chong worked way better together in Commando and there wasn't even any attempted romantic tension in that relationship. If you actually rooted for Cobretti and the chick to get together by the end, you are a better person than me.

Even with all these faults, what ultimately kills the movie is that it's just not much fun. The action scenes are fairly plentiful, and a few of them are even reasonably decent (the big car chase is well-shot and edited, and a later chase scene where Cobretti mows down a lot of bikers from the back of a pick-up truck hints at the fun flick this could have been if it had boasted more self-knowingly outrageous moments like that), but without any care towards plot or character, it's hard to get involved in all the mayhem, especially when a lot of these scenes are mired in boring clichés (the final showdown is set in a foundry; argghh, I hate that setting!).

Even worse is the fact that almost everyone involved seemed painfully unaware they were making pulpy escapist cinema. Aside from a few very unsuccessful one-liners, Cobra is too serious in tone to genuinely enjoy. A lot of action movies that take themselves seriously manage to work because of (at least mild) attention to plot and characters; without these elements, the laziness of the filmmakers becomes more obvious as we watch a film that wishes to be taken seriously (there's a half-hearted attempt at a message about the hypocrisy and ineffectiveness of justice) without going into the effort to deserve that merit, and that's just plain insulting.

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