Brian Stimpson: It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
[Mr. Stimpston is looking for a tractor]
Ivan with the Tractor: Hey, guess what I'm sitting on!
Brian Stimpson: A bomb, I hope!
Ivan with the Tractor: Alright then. You go that way and I'll go this way, and I'll bet you this jam tart... that I'll find a tractor first.
[drives away on tractor]
Brian Stimpson: [chasing the train] SPEECH! SPEECH!
Ticket Collector: [to a passenger nearby] Funny, innit, in the thirty years I've been in this job, nobody asked me to do a speech before!
Brian Stimpson: [ringing bell at the monastery] Oh come on please! Turn the bloody record player down for God's sake!
Brian Stimpson: [the window opens] Now, hello, would you have a tractor would you?
Monk: One moment.
Brian Stimpson: Now, er...
[looks around the place]
Brian Stimpson: Ooh dear, a monastery. I might have guessed!
Brian Stimpson: [repeated line; last lines] LEFT, no RIGHT, no LEFT...