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This almost makes it into that truly rare category of a movie that's so
bad it's actually entertaining--but not quite. Aliens are looking for
virgins to impregnate. Why do they need virgins?--who knows. But New
York City in the 1980's is definitely the wrong place to look for them.
Of course, if there was anything virginal about the actresses they cast
in this movie they probably wouldn't have been cast in this movie, but
even the pristine credentials of the characters they play seem pretty
suspect. One girl is a coke-snorting model (a group well known for
their chastity). Another does her aerobics in the nude (obviously her
extreme shyness would explain her intact maidenhood). You get the
idea--this is the unlikeliest group of "virgins" to ever appear outside
a porno film. But besides the "virgins" you have the "detective" who
doesn't look like he's old enough to shave and the "aliens" who usually
disguise themselves as random human males, probably because their
rubbery suits are totally unconvincing. The dialogue is absolutely
atrocious, especially the hilarious way everybody makes a long,
dramatic pause before uttering the word. . . "virgin".
Many professional reviewers have pointed out how tasteless the climactic scene is where all these naked women writhe around in some kind of viscous alien fluid. Well, if you have any taste to begin with you wouldn't watch this movie long enough to get to that scene. If this movie was just a little more sleazy it would be a porno flick and this scene would be a great big . . . well, you get the idea. This movie isn't as good as the similar "Humanoids from the Deep", but at least the director didn't try to claim that Roger Corman or somebody went back and added all the gratuitous sex and nudity. (This would have been a 5-minute short without it). I'd only recommend this movie to sick perverts who enjoy completely tasteless, morally indefensible trash (not that that's necessarily a BAD thing. . .)
Aliens come to downtown Manhattan and live underground only to come out and victimize virgin girls and impregnate them with alien seed. This movie is rubbish on so many levels. First of all, it is more of a soft core pornography film rather than a science fiction/horror film. Just about every female actress bares her top AND bottom. One dances nude to music for what seems like an eternity. The premise that all these girls are virgins crosses the line of suspension of disbelief credibility, as one, moments prior to her nude aerobics, snorts a line of cocaine. The film also suffers from some of the worst, uninspired acting I have seen in quite some time. None...and I mean none of the "talents" in this film can act. Little wonder none of them became successful. Teresa Farley, a beautiful girl, plays a doctor named Gamble out to solve the mystery of what is happening to these girls that appear to have been raped. She looks off while she utters her lines. Silences are a part of all the thespians' craft here. Poor acting notwithstanding, the plot is ludicrous. The special effects are nothing more than guys in rubber suits and blood coming out of mouths. I was very disappointed with this as the video box had some alien on it akin to what was in the movie Alien. Fat chance here! This film is nothing more than a voyeuristic foray into the adolescent mind of director Kinkaid. His abilities are practically nil as no suspense, no depth, and no storytelling are pervasive throughout. What you DO get are lots of girls disrobing in the most unlikely places, a group of women in some goo waving their arms, and aliens in rubber suits with big metal eyes in cheap sets populated by insincere, amateurish actors. This one is definitely NOT in the ranks of best in breed!
*SPOILER ALERT* * SPOILER ALERT*
You might think this movie is about aliens. You'd be wrong. Sure there are aliens, and they do attack. But what the movie is really about is breasts. Female breasts. Naked female breasts.
Naked woman are attacked by aroused aliens. Yes. That's right. It looked cheap and tacky. It was cheap and tacky. Still a good time for an aliens on the hunt movie.
Near the end, all the naked women jump into a pot of alien goo. I'm not saying what's in that goo, but the title is "Breeders". A high point in B-movie moments.
It was sleaze to please. I was pleased.
Terrible, lowest-of-the-low budget 80's t&a teen horror flic from the
creative "genius" of Tim Kincaid, the director who brought the world such
appalling rubbish as "The Occultist", "Bad Girl's Dormitory", and the
legendary awful "Robot Holocaust". What we have here is the bare minimum
any plot, direction, suspense, action, or production: basically it's an
excuse to show off naked women. What story there is revolves around alien
monsters who disguise themselves as humans in order to steal nubile young
females to impregnate in order to create moore alien monsters, etc, etc.
that respect, "Breeders" fits neatly into the Very Guilty Pleasures
department, along with such trash classics as "Humanoids from the Deep",
"Invasion of the Bee Girls", and "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!". But if
looking for horror, or even a reasonable facsimile thereof, don't look
You rarely see the "alien monsters", and when you do they are
cheesy and fake-looking. Had 1 oz of brain been used to make this film,
would have at least been more respectable; now, teens just rent it to ogle
the babes and laugh at the miserable fx. Don't confuse this frisky
with the corny, pointless, even-worse 1998 film of the same name, starring
the talentless, nubile Samantha Janus. At least Kincaid's Breeders has a
minutae of entertainment value, however small. The penultimate scene
showing the naked bimbos writhing in a vat of alien "goo" is a low point
film history, and a high point in trash cinema! MooCow says rent it for
Trashy T&A Cinema night, but keep your hooves on the fast forward button!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
After a couple months of wondering about it I finally sat through
BREEDERS [as released by Wizard Video in 1986] and while it is far from
even an "effective" movie it did have it's moments. THE PLOT: Young
virgin white female women have been mysteriously snatched from the
streets of lower Manhattan while nobody was looking -- in itself an
improbability of such a high degree that it does not even rate
mentioning -- only to turn up later as victims of sexual assault at
"Manhattan General Hospital" where a young mulatto hottie doctor and a
young police lieutenant who both look like fourth year NYU acting
students decide that there is more to the incidents than meets the eye.
The two embark on an hour long search through the lower bowels of the
city, ending up in an abandoned subway line with nary a homeless person
to be found, where they discover the "nest" of an alien life form who
has come to the Earth in an effort to breed with our women. After all,
what else WOULD a species capable of intergalactic space travel want
from our ant-like civilization, other than our leggy bikini models?
Since this is the only plot point of genuine interest I will leave out
mention of the laughable special effects, wooden acting, improbable
casting, dim-witted dialog, pedestrian cinematography, unlikable leads,
numbskulled supporting characters [almost through here], idiot's
perspective on life in NYC, and complete lack of understanding of how
the subways work & why the idea of an "abandoned tunnel" at the 23rd
Street exchange is ridiculous.
With all that aside now, this is actually a pretty interesting MasterCard budgeted film shot entirely in NYC, but not the NYC most filmgoers have become familiar with -- It is a Soho mentality world made up of cloistered studios, rooftops with water silos, lower Broadway's Fashion and NYU areas [I used to take classes up at 23rd and 8th Ave & enjoyed lunchtime walks down many of the streets used in exterior scenes whilst a slave rowing the Tower Records galleon right across from NYU] and the artsy/party slummers who populated it. The cast is made up almost entirely of unknowns who never really went on to do anything else, with only cult horror babe Amy Brentano [BLOOD SISTERS] making any kind of an impact as a cocaine snorting ex-gymnast bikini model who's photoshoot is rudely interrupted when the director mutates into an alien which proceeds to grope her leggy frame with it's gross tentical like appendages. To paraphrase Roger Ebert, I hate it when stuff like that happens.
The film's opening sixty minutes or so are pretty bad, with lots of talking and speculation over an "unknown biological substance" that the rape victims' bodies have been covered with, all of which serves to set up the movie's final 15 minute set-piece when it is revealed that this substance is alien sperm, and the women become covered with it while their naked bodies writhe in a steaming vat of the stuff four or five at a time -- an interesting twist on spawn reproduction techniques, provided that the women are attractive & willing enough. Director Kincaid is therefore forgiven for the film's innanities by providing a nice cross-section of caucaisian female types crawling around in the slippery gunk, though those viewers who may have been hoping for borderline pornography will doubtlessly be disappointed by results, which seems more like a waste of uncongealed geletain dessert than some sort of perverted group grope. The girls don't even interact with each other, not seeming to be really there even, and at the end the resourceful cop & doctor fry the sloppy mess with a handy electrical cable connected to the third rail. What a waste.
This movie was one of the first released straight to home video during the rental boon years of the 1980's and while a disappointment to be sure is worthy of some sort of cult status.
There are some nice parallels to LIQUID SKY [doubtlessly the movie's major influence] and Luigi Cozzi's ALIEN CONTAMINATION [with it's alien spores idea], an interesting electronic soundtrack, and some attractive babes with zero compunction about removing their clothes for the benefit of the camera, and there is something to be said for that.
Kincaid's 1986 movie is easily the more obscure & probably more fun, though snooty types who are insistent upon slick productions will find plenty to complain about, until the last 15 minutes that is, which should satisfy anyone with a taste for the naked & slippery prospects of alien movie hokum.
**1/2 out of ****
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
They're bad movies and then there's exceptionally atrocious, brain-numbing, please God make it stop jaw-stopping spectacles of sheer mind-rotting awfulness that are so utterly abominable that they defy belief and soar off into a stratosphere of extraordinary stinkiness that's a ghastly wonder to behold. "Breeders" qualifies as one of those special kind of schlocky treats. The gloriously sordid premise centers on an ugly, scaly, oversexed humanoid reptile lizard alien (actually, it's some poor schmoe in a laughably obvious and unconvincing rubber suit) who kidnaps and rapes a lovely assortment of Big Apple virgins so it can reproduce its species for an impending invasion. Colorless cop Lance Lewman and dull doctor Teresa Farley try to stop the evil extraterrestrial menace, but since they're both incredibly insipid and can't act their way out of a soggy cardboard box one quite frankly doesn't give a s**t if they succeed or not. Boy, does this beautifully botched baby contain all the right wrong stuff to rate highly as one four-star clinker: flat, uninspired (mis)direction by the chronically inept Tim Kincaid (who also makes gay porno under the name of Joe Gage), a grating synthesizer score, pathetic make-up f/x by Ed French (in one particularly pitiful scene the viewer can clearly see that the actor playing the hormonal alien is wearing sneakers!), plodding pacing, relentlessly cheap'n'chintzy production values, dire dialogue, and staggeringly putrid acting from the entire cast. Fortunately, there's a tasty plenitude of gratuitous distaff nudity from a smoking hot bunch of luscious young women; almost every luckless lass who gets attacked is either disrobing or in the shower when they get jumped. Special credit must be given here to the beauteous brunette hottie supreme Frances Raines, who performs a lengthy Jane Fonda-style aerobic workout clad only in her birthday suit that's leeringly lingered on by the filmmakers. A truly choice chunk of deliciously dreadful celluloid cheese.
Clearly a porn to R rated cross over. Talk about clueless acting!
Serves as a primer for film students to clearly identify what's wrong
and how to fix it. One thing is for sure, the director never said 'cut,
let's do it again!'
I play a game with this quality of movie and try to spot the best actor. My surprise was that the SciFi channel showed the film with the naughty bits fuzzed out! I gave up after the first act! Teresa Farley's performance in the movie was missing, she was there but the monotone cue card reading was painfully obvious. Lance Lewman was worth watching however and pulled off quite a performance under the circumstances. Somewhat like a baseball player on a lousy team, what matters are good personal stats, which Lance earned. He goes on to appear in 3 more made fot TV movies.
Definitely the worst film I have seen in YEARS! Maybe the worst I have ever seen. Absolutely no plot, story or a thread of acting ability in this film. CHEAP on all levels of production. These people have had very little work since the film between them all, and thank god for that. It was probably hard finding this many people-whom lacked any talent at all-to put in a single film. My only question is, "How did this film get a 2.7 rating out of 10. I wish the rating scale had negatives. Maybe it got some votes for the constant naked breast shown in every other shot. Even that was done so badly it got boring. Do not waste your time or money, learn where I have failed.
After directing one of the most acting bereft movies of the 1980's,
Robot Holocaust, gay porn director Tim Kincaid must have thought that
all he needed to do was add more boobs in his next foray into
mainstream film-making resulting in this straight to video T&A
Breeders begins with the rape of one of the sluttiest virgins I have ever seen by a "German" man who transforms into a bug-eyed alien. It goes downhill from here. At this point the rape victim is subjected to the worst bedside manner ever as Det. Dale Andriotti (Lance Lewman) and Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) discuss her mutilation in all it's gory details about one foot from where she is recovering. Nice. Sadly, these two numbnuts are the main characters of this film. Dr. Pace tells Det. Andriotti, who would be more convincing cast as a paperboy, that a series of these rapes targeting virgins in New York City have become too numerous to be a coincidence. They begin to investigate the rapes together as Det. Andriotti seems to be the only police officer in the greater Manhattan area. These scenes are interspersed between supposed women of sexual purity in various forms of undress. These "virgins" engage in snorting cocaine, nude aerobics, nude cooking, and the sexually arresting nude phone conversation with their mother. Whatever the opposite of a hard-on is I've got it. Eventually all of the victims are summoned in the nude to an underground bath in, well, use your imagination. Thankfully Dr. Pace and Det. Andriotti battle the alien in an abandoned subway that is stocked full of supplies for dispatching the fiend. Perhaps they were really resourceful rats.
Everything about this movie screams amateur hour. To say that the performances are community college level would be an insult to those actors who couldn't afford money for a good school. Teresa Farley is particularly awful as she delivers her lines in the same monotone way while glancing offscreen, presumably to look at the cue cards. I have no problem with copious amounts of nudity but some of the women are more of the Bloodsucking Freaks nude for the sake of being nude variety. Little surprise from someone who's directing history consists of male locker rooms and public toilets. An eye for female beauty Mr. Kincaid has not. This movie was made for those that wanted to see naked women but didn't want to get caught coming out of that back room of the video store by one of his neighbors. "Oh, hi Mrs. Smith. What did I rent? Oh, it's just a sci-fi monster movie. See the scary alien on the box." Keep lying to yourself pervert!
The women of a major city are getting naked and doing daily household
routines in the buff. An alien intent on reproducing, rapes the naked women
that are supposed to be virgins (yeah right). Can someone put an end to the
violence? Boring, dull horror flick never generates a chuckle despite bad
dialogue and off the wall acting or any excitement despite a cast of hot
women in a constant state of undress.
R; Nudity, Rape, Graphic Violence.
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