April Fool's Day (1986)
Chaz: [watching Kit and Rob through binoculars] Respectable young Quaker couple returning from a quiet afternoon of nonviolent sex.
Clara: Have a nice party.
Muffy: Nice? It's gotta be better than nice. It's gotta be bloody unforgettable.
Chaz: Hey guy, your fly is open and your Hostess Twinkie is hanging out.
Chaz: Boy Muffy, you really know how to make a guy look forward to... dessert.
Arch: Please God, let it be Ding-Dongs!
Harvey: I know you think I'm a hick, but I'd like to change your mind about that if you'd give me a chance.
Harvey: Because I would really like to plow your field.
Kit: Muffy hasn't been in an institution for three years, she's been at Vassar!
Arch: You're telling me! When I was out there swinging in the woods, I nearly crapped my pants.
Ferryman: What do you mean "nearly"?
Chaz: Arch? You browned your trou?
Arch: Well, uh... you know, I was...
Constable Potter: It's all right, Arch, they'll be out of the dryer soon.
Kit: Oh, ha ha. HA HA HA HA! That's really funny, you guys. Really funny! Fuck you!
Kit: And don't anyone say "April Fool's" again or I'll rip them apart!
[everyone admires the view of the lake from Muffy's window]
Nikki: On a clear day, you can see the Kennedys.
Nikki: My name is Mary O'Reilly O'Toole O'Shea. Somewhere out there is the island my friend Muffy owns. It's spring break and she's invited us over there for the weekend and we're waiting for the ferry now to take us there, and... I don't know what else to say.
Chaz: [voice] Why don't you tell us something about yourself?
Nikki: Oh, all right, something about myself. Um, I wanna work with handicapped children, and my parents are my best friends. Oh, and I start convent school next semester... and I fuck on the first date. April Fool's!
Harvey: Y'know what I find amazin'? Muffy's her real name. I mean, my name's Harvey but they call me Hal, so I figure Muffy must stand for something... Muffin?
Nikki: Muff-child, Moffo, the Muffster, Muffin' stuff...
Harvey: Muff dive.
Chaz: [stands close to Nan and coughs exaggeratedly] Hi, what're you reading?
Nan: Milton's Paradise Lost, for Professor Russo's course in English epic. You know, it's a shame; it's a dying form.
Nan: Not too many people read it nowadays, even in college.
Chaz: [feigning interest] Really?
Nan: What about you?
Chaz: Oh, uh, Treasure Island - the history of pornography in America.