Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

Nicholas Rowe: Sherlock Holmes

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Quotes 

• Sherlock Holmes : A great detective relies on perception, intelligence, and imagination.

  Lestrade : [amused]  Where'd you get that rubbish from?

  Sherlock Holmes : It's framed on the wall behind you.

• Ehtar : [suddenly appears above them gun in hand]  HOLMES!

  Elizabeth Hardy : [screams]  NO

  [jumps in front of Holmes as Ehtar fires] 

  Ehtar : [snarls as she fatally takes the bullet]  DAMN!

  John Watson : [bewildered]  Where you going? Holmes You'll Be Killed

  Sherlock Holmes : [growling as he snatches up a sword]  I'm going to get him

  [shouts] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Ehtar! You're nothing but a damn fraud!

  Ehtar : [smugly]  And you, Holmes, are letting your emotions get the better of you again!

  [fires again but Sherlock dodges the shot] 

• John Watson : My name is...

  Sherlock Holmes : Wait - let me. Your name is James Watson. You're from the north of England, your father is a doctor, you spend a considerable amount of leisure time writing, and you haver a particular fondness for custard tarts. Am I correct?

  John Watson : My name isn't James, it's John.

  Sherlock Holmes : James, John - what's the difference?

  John Watson : A great deal.

  Sherlock Holmes : Very well, so your name is John. How did I do on the others?

  John Watson : You were correct. On every count. How is it done? Is it some sort of magic trick?

  Sherlock Holmes : No magic, Watson. Pure and simple deduction. The name-tag on your mattress reads "J Watson". I selected the most common name that begins with "J" - "James". "John" would have been my second choice. Your particular style of shoes are not made in the city. I've only encountered them once before during a brief visit to the north of England. The middle finger of your left hand is indented with a callus, the trademark of a writer. You were carrying the Hunter's Encyclopedia of Disease - a handbook not available to the general public, only to practising physicians. Since someone of your ages obviously hasn't been to medical school, I concluded that it was given to you by an older person, someone very dear to you who is concerned for your health: Your father, the doctor.

  John Watson : And the custard tarts?

  Sherlock Holmes : Simple. There's a distinct stain of yellow custard on your lapel. That particular colour of custard is used in the making of custard tarts, and your shape convinced me you've eaten many of them before.

  John Watson : There's no need to be rude.

• Older Watson : It was the beginning of my second week at Brompton. With each passing day, my fascination with Sherlock Holmes and his world continued to grow. On this occasion, the entire school was bursting with excitement. Dudley had challenged Holmes to a test of ingenuity, skill, and perception. Dudley had snatched the school's fencing trophy and hidden it in a secret place. He gave Holmes sixty minutes to find the trophy. Holmes accepted the challenge with confidence.

  Sherlock Holmes : The game is afoot!

• Sherlock Holmes : You're sitting in a room with an all-southern view. Suddenly, a bear walks by the window. What colour is the bear?

  John Watson : Red! The bear is red!

  Sherlock Holmes : Why on Earth would the bear be red?

  John Watson : The southern sun is very hot. The bear would be terribly burnt!

  Sherlock Holmes : [laughs]  That is the most absurd answer I've ever heard.

• Sherlock Holmes : Just have a quick look at these.

  [hands Lestrade two obituaries] 

  Lestrade : A suicide and a carriage accident.

  Sherlock Holmes : I suspect foul play.

  Lestrade : Why? The two instances are completely unrelated.

  Sherlock Holmes : Wrong. Both men graduated from the same university in 1809.

  Lestrade : Coincidence.

  Sherlock Holmes : Neither of their deaths fit their personalities. According to his obituary, Bobster was a happy man, content with his life, his career, his family. Why would he commit suicide? He didn't even leave a note. And Reverend Nesbitt is described by friends as "warm, loving, peaceful". And yet the carriage driver insists that he was crazed, insane, in a state of panic when he ran out into the street.

  Lestrade : Holmes, a mere fluctuation of character is hardly sufficient evidence to begin an investigation. And if you want my advice, you'll keep your nose out of the Times and into your schoolbooks.

  Sherlock Holmes : I appreciate your time, Mister Lestrade. I suggest you hold onto these.

  [Lestrade shakes his head] 

  Sherlock Holmes : If I were a detective sergeant trapped in this room all day up to my neck in boring paperwork, I would be doing everything in my power to seek out that one case, that one investigation that could promote me to inspector.

  Lestrade : [Irately]  Good day, Holmes.

• Lestrade : I despise your arrogance.

  Sherlock Holmes : And I despise your laziness.

• Sherlock Holmes : The game is afoot.

• John Watson : I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!

  Sherlock Holmes : Weasel.

  John Watson : I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.

  Sherlock Holmes : Weasels *are* practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.

  John Watson : I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.

• Older Watson : We immediately sprang into action, searching every nook and cranny for the cloth. I accidentally turned on one of Waxflatter's strange machines, and not being at all mechanically-minded, I had the dickens of a time trying to turn the thing off.

  Elizabeth Hardy : I found it! I found it!

  Older Watson : Holmes spent the entire night and the following day studying, examining, scrutinising the section of cloth. He conducted experiment after experiment. Not once did he stop for a rest. His energy seemed boundless. Following eighteen straight hours of work, Holmes turned to Elizabeth and myself, and those four familiar words shot from his lips.

  Sherlock Holmes : The game is afoot!

• Sherlock Holmes : [during a hallucination]  Please don't cry, Mother. Please. Don't you understand, Mother? Can't you hear me? Can't you hear what I'm saying? Mother!

  Mr. Holmes : You! This is all your fault, son! How could you do such a thing to me? To your own father? Spying on me!

  Sherlock Holmes : Forgive me, Father. Please, I - I didn't realise.

  Mr. Holmes : My private life is my own! Your mother need never have known!

  Sherlock Holmes : No! No! No! This is not real! This is *not* real!

• Cragwitch : [hallucinating, Cragwitch attacks Holmes and tries to strangle him]  EH TAR! You filthy murderer! You wanted to kill all of us! Well, you won't kill me!

  Sherlock Holmes : Watson! Speak to him!

  John Watson : What? Oh! Your... your name is Craddy Critchwit! I mean, your name is Ch-...! Your name is...! What's his name?

  Sherlock Holmes : [Choking]  Cragwitch!

• Sherlock Holmes : Mister Lestrade! What are you doing here?

  Lestrade : Oh, I accidentally stuck myself on one of those damn thorns. Goll, the hallucinations... ghastly. Took four policemen to stop me from hanging meself. Anyway, when it was over, I thought I better look into your story. Now, Holmes, I wish you and your podgy little friend farewell. I appreciate you getting me started on the case.

• John Watson : Amazing, Holmes. Simply amazing. Of course, you did forget one very important clue.

  Sherlock Holmes : Oh? Please enlighten me.

  John Watson : Well, "Rathe" is "Ehtar" spelled backwards.

  Sherlock Holmes : Very clever, Watson. Well, I'm certain I would have arrived at that conclusion sooner or later.

  John Watson : [smiling]  Sooner or later.

• John Watson : Dudley is going to pay dearly for this. Punch to the jaw, jab to the ribs...

  Sherlock Holmes : Now, now, Watson. Revenge is sweetest when it's served up cold. Come on.

  [Dudley enters with snow-white hair] 

  Dudley : Holmes. You did this. You're responsible, aren't you?

  Sherlock Holmes : So that's where I dropped my chemistry experiment: into your tea. Oh, don't worry, old chap. It'll wear off shortly. You should be back to normal - by summertime.

• Sherlock Holmes : Someday we'll be reunited. In another world, a much better world.

  Elizabeth Hardy : I'll be waiting. And you'll be late... as always.

• Ehtar : You cannot best me, Holmes. Throw down your sword.

  Sherlock Holmes : Never. I would rather die a gruesome and horrible death.

  Ehtar : Very well, then I will oblige.

  Ehtar : [continues duelling]  Come Holmes Is This The Best You Can Do?

  [gloating] 

  Ehtar : You Fight Like A Malnourished Child I've Already Won The Battle

  Sherlock Holmes : You've Lost *Every* Battle Ehtar... This Will Be No Exception! All Your Dreams Have Been *Shattered* Your Temple... The Rame Tep...

  [Ehtar gets similar cheek slash to Holmes] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Everything Has Been Destroyed Forever

  Ehtar : [Ehtar seeing he's now bleeding loses his composure]  AH

  [growling lashes out] 

• [while flying] 

  Sherlock Holmes : I've just realised something.

  John Watson : What?

  Sherlock Holmes : I have absolutely no idea how to land this machine.

• Sherlock Holmes : Mr. Lestrade?

  Lestrade : Holmes. It's been a long time. Three, four days since your last visit?

  Sherlock Holmes : I believe I'm on to something

  Lestrade : Oh, not again.

  Sherlock Holmes : This time I'm certain of it.

  Lestrade : Really. Just like last month when you were convinced that the French ambassador had embezzled 300 thousand pounds from the Bank of England?

  Sherlock Holmes : I was close. It was the Russian ambassador.

• John Watson : What have I got myself into?

  Sherlock Holmes : The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.

• [Holmes, Watson and Elizabeth are walking across the courtyard, when a voice causes them to look up] 

  Waxflatter : Holmes! Elizabeth! I think I have solved all of the problems!

  John Watson : [looking up]  Who's that?

  Elizabeth Hardy : My Uncle.

  Sherlock Holmes : Rupert T. Waxflatter. Retired schoolmaster, degrees in Chemistry and Biology, well versed in Philosophy, Mathematics and Physics. Author of 27 books.

  [Holmes walks on] 

  Elizabeth Hardy : And most people think he's a lunatic.

  [Elizabeth walks on] 

  John Watson : Why?

  [Waxflatter launches his flying machine] 

  John Watson : Oh, my God!

• [in order to obtain information about the blowpipe, Watson is forced to make a purchase from a curiosity shop] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Why on earth did you buy a pipe?

  John Watson : It looks distinguished!

  Sherlock Holmes : It looks perfectly ridiculous!

  John Watson : You'll see. I shall learn to smoke it and then you can't laugh. You'll see.

• Sherlock Holmes : Answers without evidence are useless.

• [Sherlock Holmes is about to get into the carriage outside the school] 

  John Watson : Are you coming back after the holidays?

  Sherlock Holmes : No. There are too many memories here.

  [he looks up at what used to be Elizabeth's window] 

  John Watson : Holmes, you have your entire life ahead of you.

  Sherlock Holmes : And I'll spend it alone.

• John Watson : Holmes, wait! I know why the bear is white!

  Sherlock Holmes : And why is that, Watson?

  John Watson : Well, the only room with an all-southern view would be at the North Pole. It's a polar bear!

  Sherlock Holmes : Bravo, Watson. You have the makings of a great detective.

• Sherlock Holmes : [to the school chefs after dropping through a window]  Excuse me.

• [repeated line] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Good show, Watson!

• Elizabeth Hardy : No. Uncle didn't kill himself.

  John Watson : Well, then, what happened to him?

  Sherlock Holmes : [entering suddenly through the window]  He was murdered.

• Dudley : Only seconds left, Holmes. I assume you've given up.

  Sherlock Holmes : Never assume anything, my good fellow.

  Dudley : But Holmes, I see no sign of a trophy.

  Sherlock Holmes : But I do.

  [Holmes picks up a vase and prepares to shatter it] 

  Master Snelgrove : Stop! Holmes, have you gone mad? This is an antique!

  [Holmes shatters the vase, revealing the stolen trophy] 

• Cragwitch : [firing a shot at Holmes and Watson]  Go away, Rame Tep! Bloody murderers, go away! You won't get me!

  Sherlock Holmes : Sir! Mister Cragwitch! We were friends of Mister Waxflatter!

  Cragwitch : I know you! You're the youngster who followed me at the cemetery! Go away! I'm a dangerous man to be around!

  Sherlock Holmes : I need your help! I want to know why the Rame Tep killed five men!

  Cragwitch : [reluctant pause]  Go in!

  Sherlock Holmes : You can get up now, Watson. The war's over.

• Cragwitch : We were to become business partners, all six of us. Borrowed money from our fathers to build a hotel. It would be the most luxurious hotel ever conceived. And where better to build... than Egypt? Labour and materials were inexpensive, and only a few years earlier, the British Army had driven out the French. It seemed a land of extreme opportunity.

  Sherlock Holmes : What happened?

  Cragwitch : We engaged an architect, and the work began... but what started out as a business venture soon became a major archaeological find. We discovered an underground pyramid. The ancient tombs of five Egyptian princesses. We removed all the relics and treasures, preparing to send them to England, but -

  [Cragwitch is struck by a thorn] 

  Cragwitch : Ooh! Bloody insect. The place needs good cleaning. There was an uproar. All the villagers in the area were convinced we'd desecrated sacred ground. Our lives were in danger. The British sent the troops in. Several people were killed.

  [Stares into the fireplace] 

  Cragwitch : The entire village was burned to the ground. Burned... fire...

  [Begins hallucinating] 

• Cragwitch : Yes, I mustn't forget. I must pass on this information. It's time someone else knew EVERYTHING!

  Sherlock Holmes : The Egyptian village, has it been burned to the ground?

  Cragwitch : Yes...

  [sees candle flames, slams his hand angrily against his desk] 

  Cragwitch : Yes! YES! Luckily we got out of Egypt with our lives. When we returned to England, we went our separate ways, all of us, however, keeping in constant touch with Waxflatter through regular correspondence. When the murders began, I met quite frequently with my dear friend.

  Sherlock Holmes : What does all this have to do with the Rame Tep?

  Cragwitch : [Hands Holmes a letter]  Almost a year after the incident, each one of us received this letter. It was sent by a young boy, a young boy of Anglo-Egyptian descent. You'll notice that the letterhead is adorned by the symbol of the Rame Tep, two golden serpents. The boy who wrote the letter and his sister were staying in England with their grandfather when they learned of the destruction of the Egyptian village, the village which was their home. Both their parents were killed in the attack. The boy vowed when he grew to manhood that the Rame Tep would take their revenge and replace the bodies of the five Egyptian princesses.

  Sherlock Holmes : And the boy was called Ehtar.

  John Watson : Ehtar... those were Waxflatter's final words!

  Sherlock Holmes : Very good, Watson.

• [about the violin] 

  Sherlock Holmes : I should've mastered the damn thing by now.

  John Watson : How long have you been playing?

  Sherlock Holmes : Three days.

• John Watson : I can't think of anything. And you're always so dead sure of yourself. Why can't you think of something?

  Sherlock Holmes : Watson, that's not helpful.

  John Watson : I'm sorry.

  Sherlock Holmes : Why can't I think of anything?

  John Watson : You're flustered! You must calm down

  Sherlock Holmes : Well, why can't you think of anything?

  John Watson : I'm flustered!

  Sherlock Holmes : Watson, I've got it.

• [upon crashing through the floor] 

  Sherlock Holmes : This is an interesting development.

• John Watson : That was a girl!

  Sherlock Holmes : Brilliant deduction, Watson.

• Sherlock Holmes : You can get up now, Watson. The war is over.

• John Watson : Holmes, wait. What if the murderer is inside?

  Sherlock Holmes : Then I shall introduce myself to him.

• [Holmes is about to smash his violin] 

  John Watson : Stop! Isn't it valuable?

  Sherlock Holmes : What's more important, its value or my sanity?

• [Holmes and Elizabeth investigate a noise in the library, and find Watson on the floor, next to a ladder] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Elizabeth, let me introduce you to my new friend, the honourable, but clumsy, Watson.

  John Watson : [standing up]  The ladder's a bit wobbly.

  Elizabeth Hardy : Hello.

• [Holmes and Watson visit an Egyptian style Tavern] 

  Egyptian Tavern Owner : What can I get for you, boys? Drink, food, women?

  John Watson : Do you have any soup?

  Sherlock Holmes : Watson, please!

  [removing the blowpipe from his pocket] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Are you the owner of this establishment? Have you ever seen this before?

  Egyptian Tavern Owner : [looking at the blowpipe]  Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep!

  [the tavern falls silent] 

  John Watson : [turning to face Holmes]  Is that the end of the song?

• [after Elizabeth finds a scrap of cloth, she accompanies Holmes and Watson to a deserted building in Wapping] 

  John Watson : I knew it, there's no-one here. Back to school, eh?

  Sherlock Holmes : Watson, you'll be on your own!

• Sherlock Holmes : The deductive mind never rests, Watson. It's like a finely-tuned instrument. It demands attention and practice.

  John Watson : How does one go about fine-tuning a mind?

  Sherlock Holmes : Problems of logic, mathematical equations, riddles.

• Dudley : Elizabeth was just admiring my new timepiece. Would you like to see?

  Sherlock Holmes : Very interesting.

  Dudley : All of the stylish gentlemen are wearing them.

  Sherlock Holmes : Expensive?

  Dudley : I bought it in Bond Street.

  Sherlock Holmes : I find that unlikely.

  Dudley : I beg your pardon?

  Sherlock Holmes : Had you taken a moment to examine the face, you'd have discovered it is typically French in style. Yet according to this inscription, the exterior was made in Switzerland. Yes. My suspicion was correct, the works are obviously Italian in origin. Congratulations, Dudley, your stylish timepiece is a fraud.

  Dudley : Keep your opinions to yourself, Holmes.

• John Watson : By the way, what's your name?

  Sherlock Holmes : Holmes. Sherlock Holmes.

• Sherlock Holmes : Dudley's a pompous ass.

  Elizabeth Hardy : He's very sweet.

  Sherlock Holmes : Oh, really? Is that why you were standing so close to him, flirting with him? Letting him dribble all over your hand.

  Elizabeth Hardy : Do I detect a sense of jealousy?

  Sherlock Holmes : Sherlock Holmes, jealous? My dear, that word does not appear in my vocabulary.

  Elizabeth Hardy : Neither does punctuality.

  Sherlock Holmes : Oh, I see. You're angry because I'm late.

  Elizabeth Hardy : As always.

• Dudley : Holmes, what about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?

  Sherlock Holmes : I never want to be alone.

• Sherlock Holmes : So, the clues: red and green paint, ceramic. As I pondered the question, I kicked the remaining snow from my shoe. As the snow crumbled, my shoe was revealed. The image struck a chord.

  John Watson : You heard music?

  Sherlock Holmes : Watson, you buffoon! I'm talking about a parallel. The parallel between my foot encased in snow, the trophy encased in some sort of ceramic: A jar, a vase.

• Sherlock Holmes : You can run errands for me, work as my assistant.

  John Watson : I might get caught. That would mean trouble!

  Sherlock Holmes : Trouble? You would have trouble ruin an opportunity for adventure?

• Sherlock Holmes : This is not real! It's a hallucination. It's only in my mind. It's a only a hallucination... Maybe not!

• Rathe : The Board quoted the school motto at least five times during the course of our meeting.

  Sherlock Holmes : "Honesty, probity and diligence."

• Sherlock Holmes : In some way, that man is connected to all three murders. We must find out who he is!

  John Watson : You've both been reading too many detective novels.

  Sherlock Holmes : This is not fiction! There's a clever murderer about, and I am going to find him.

• John Watson : Holmes, could please stop that *infernal* tinkering. I still have a headache from those hallucinations.

  Sherlock Holmes : Tinkering helps me think.

  John Watson : Sleep helps *me* think.

  Sherlock Holmes : There's no time for sleep!

• John Watson : I've got a picture here.

  Sherlock Holmes : Clues, Watson. I want clues, not art critiques!

  John Watson : Clues, clues. What do you think I've been doing for the past hour?

• Sherlock Holmes : Watson, you've got to think the whole thing through. Take it apart piece by piece.

• Rathe : We mustn't cling to things of the past.

  Sherlock Holmes : It's the man's whole life's work!

  Rathe : And his life is over.

• Sherlock Holmes : Keep thinking, Watson. Answers without evidence are useless.

• John Watson : Strange. Strange.

  Sherlock Holmes : Let's just go back now.

  John Watson : I don't know how I'm going to explain all this to my parents.

  Sherlock Holmes : Don't worry. It'll all be explained in tomorrow's papers.