Quotes
Elmo: [looks at Louden's book] What the fuck is this?
Louden Swain: What? You don't recognize it?
Elmo: Wait a minute! This is coos!
Louden Swain: Yeah, I'm thinking very seriously of becoming a gynecologist
Elmo: A coos doctor in outer space? Man, you're flippin' out!
Share thisLouden Swain: I'm gonna drop down to 168 and wrestle Shute
Kuch: SHUTE? Shute's a monster! A genuine geratoid! His own father has to use a livewire to keep him from fuckin' the fireplace!
Share thisTanneran: I think you're dehydrated.
Louden Swain: No, I'm just the victim of a screwed-up nitrogen imbalance. Plus, I think I've contracted priapism.
Tanneran: What's priapism?
Louden Swain: It's a disease of a constant erection.
[Tanneran giggles]
Louden Swain: It's not funny, believe me! The girl of my dreams lives under my own roof, but she thinks I'm just a kid, a dumb jock, all of which is more or less true. I'm dying, Mr. Tanneran, just like that girl in the poem... only quicker, and with a hard-on.
Share thisMargie Epstein: [after reading Louden's article about the clitoris] I'm speechless. You've broken new ground here, Louden! This is professional stuff! We're gonna' draaaggg this dinky school paper right into the twentieth century! I mean, where do you get your ideas?
Louden Swain: Well, I've been thinking a lot about that stuff lately.
Margie Epstein: Oooohhh, we're gonna' make history here!
Share thisMargie Epstein: [Picking up garbage] What a blast to the First Amendment! The first thing they do is shut down the press and imprison the intellectuals.
[Turns to Louden]
Margie Epstein: I LOVED YOUR PIECE ON THE CLITORIS! I SHOWED IT TO MY MOTHER!
Share thisLouden Swain: You never took a night off to see me wrestle before. They'll dock you for that.
Elmo: Hey, kid - money ain't everything.
Louden Swain: It's not that big a deal, Elmo. I mean, it's six lousy minutes on the mat, if that.
Elmo: You ever hear of Pele?
Louden Swain: Yeah, he's a, a soccer player.
Elmo: A very famous soccer player.
[pause]
Elmo: I was in the room here one day... watchin' the Mexican channel on TV. I don't know nothin' about Pele. I'm watchin' what this guy can do with a ball and his feet. Next thing I know, he jumps in the air and flips into a somersault and kicks the ball in - upside down and backwards... the goddamn goalie never knew what the fuck hit him. Pele gets excited and he rips off his jersey and starts running around the stadium waving it around his head. Everybody's screaming in Spanish. I'm here, sitting alone in my room, and I start crying.
[pause]
Elmo: That's right, I start crying. Because another human being, a species that I happen to belong to, could kick a ball, and lift himself, and the rest of us sad-assed human beings, up to a better place to be, if only for a minute... let me tell ya, kid - it was pretty goddamned glorious. It ain't the six minutes... it's what happens in that six minutes.
Share thisLouden Swain: But all I ever settled for is that we're born to live and then to die, and... we got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it - there isn't.
Share thisCarla: [Just before Louden is set to wrestle Shute] Hey, Louden?
[Louden glances up]
Carla: Kick his ass.
Share thisLouden Swain: My name's Louden, Louden Swain. Last week I turned 18. I wasn't ready for it. I haven't done anything yet. So I made this deal with myself. This is the year I make my mark.
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