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The Stuff (1985) Poster

(1985)

Quotes

David 'Mo' Rutherford: No one is as dumb as I appear to be.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: The name's Mo Rutherford. They call me that 'cause when people give me money, I always want mo'.

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Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: We're Americans - we've never lost a war!

Jason: What about 'Nam, sir?

Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: 'Nam? We lost that war at home, sonny.

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Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: I will permit this colored man to speak. But speak one word of the Commie party, or one word in code, and I will blow his head off.

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Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: The yellow sons of bitches, they took their own lives! Commie bastards, you cheated me!

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Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: Pay the drivers, issue a ten-percent tip, get a cash receipt.

Militants: Yes, sir!

Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: Proceed to the main lobby; we will reassemble! HUP!

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David 'Mo' Rutherford: Well, everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.

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David 'Mo' Rutherford: Are you eating it or is it eating you?

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Jason: What am I supposed to do?

Jason's Brother: What you're supposed to do, you're supposed to EAT IT, that's all; you eat it and eat as much of it as you can and you KEEP eating it!

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'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: Don't you know who I am? I am Chocolate-Chip Charlie! My hands are registered with the mid-New Jersey police as lethal weapons, and I eat them guns for breakfast!

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David 'Mo' Rutherford: You're Chocolate Chip Charlie!

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: Well, I sure as hell ain't the Kentucky Colonel!

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[First lines]

Old Miner: [finds the Stuff bubbling out of the ground] What the hell is this? Sure smooth.

[he tastes some]

Old Miner: That tastes real good! Tasty! Sweet!

Second Miner: Harry, what're you doin' down there, takin' a leak?

Old Miner: No.

Second Miner: Want us to wait for ya?

Old Miner: No, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch up to ya later.

[continues eating the Stuff]

Old Miner: I'll be damned. Whatever that could be, it's mighty good.

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Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears: [after shooting guard who begins "bleeding" Stuff] I kinda like the sight of blood... but this is disgusting!

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Miner: Harry, what're you doin' eatin' show?

Old Miner: [eating Stuff] Are you outta your head, buddy? If this is snow, try it.

[offers the other miner some]

Miner: No, I don't eat snow.

Old Miner: Come on, give it a try, that's not snow. Try it.

Miner: [he tries it] What the hell is it?

Old Miner: You know, if this stuff is bubbling out of the ground like this, there might be enough of it here that we could sell to people!

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Fletcher: Let go of it, Mr. Rutherford. You can't stop it.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: I can shut you down.

Fletcher: [laughs] I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think anybody'd pay too much attention to a disreputable guy like you. You're a rogue, you're a crook in the pay of the ice cream companies just out trying to screw the competition.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: I could always kill you.

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Vickers: Ben! No, Ben! I'll buy more!

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David 'Mo' Rutherford: Okay, lethal hands, kill the door.

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: Watch out for splinters.

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David 'Mo' Rutherford: There nobody here but you?

Gas Attendant: Well, don't you wanna wash your hands or somethin'? I put in a new towel!

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[pursuing escaping Stuff]

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: You are not thinkin' about goin' after it!

David 'Mo' Rutherford: I hope you got a gun on you, Charlie!

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: How many times am I supposed to tell you my hands are lethal weapons?

David 'Mo' Rutherford: I hope you're right, 'cause if that thing tries to kill me, you kill me first!

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[discussing the Stuff-possessed postman]

David 'Mo' Rutherford: What do you think, Charlie?

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: The man is not in proper operating order.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: Absolutely.

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: I'd like to take him someplace and get him X-rayed.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: Yeah, but what if he doesn't wanna come along with us?

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: We snatch 'im.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: Oh, now, Charlie, I run a high-tech operation. I don't go in for things like that.

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: I got a few low-tech solutions for our problem. We hit that sucker over the head.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: Oh, well, ummm... we could do that.

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: We throw him in the trunk of the car.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: We could do that, too.

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: And we take off.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: In whose car?

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David 'Mo' Rutherford: Did you find anything out?

'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: What you gonna find out, man, in a town that has just dried up and blown away, man? Must be a side effect of eatin' too much dessert. An urge to migrate.

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'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: The only thing Chocolate Chip Charlie knows better than fighting is running.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: Pick a direction!

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Jason: 'scuse me, sir, I kinda just threw up in your car.

David 'Mo' Rutherford: I know!

Jason: I'm sorry!

David 'Mo' Rutherford: That's all right.

Jason: I just ate shaving cream!

David 'Mo' Rutherford: Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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