Memorable quotes for
Rustlers' Rhapsody (1985) More at IMDbPro »

Bob Barber: Ever faced another good guy before?
Rex O'Herlihan: Nope.
Bob Barber: Me neither.
Rex O'Herlihan: Kinda makes you wonder what'll happen.
Bob Barber: I figure the good guy'll win, just like always.
Rex O'Herlihan: Yeah, except we're both good guys.
Bob Barber: Then I figure the most good good guy will win.
Rex O'Herlihan: That's how I figure, too.
Bob Barber: Yep.
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Colonel Ticonderoga: You missed! How could you miss?
Jud: Even with these sights we have a target a hundred yards away, maybe more, we've never fired these weapons before, there's a definite wind factor, AND we have a problem with the sun!
Colonel Ticonderoga: Just shoot, okay?
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Rex O'Herlihan: You're not a good guy at all!
Bob Barber: I'm a lawyer, you idiot!
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Rex O'Herlihan: Give me a tall glass of warm gin with a human hair in it.
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Rex O'Herlihan: This is 1884. You've gotta date and date and date and date and sometimes marry 'em even before... you know...
Peter: Now, wait a minute. Are you tellin' me you've never...?
Rex O'Herlihan: Never.
Peter: My god, Rex. You ARE a good guy.
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Rex O'Herlihan: I need a little 'me' time.
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Rex O'Herlihan: [Music score begins to play. Rex speaks to his horse] Root's beginnin' to work.
[a cowboy chorus joins in]
Rex O'Herlihan: Yeah, it's definitely kickin' in now.
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Colonel Ticonderoga: Jud, throw another faggot on the fire.
Jud: A what?
Colonel Ticonderoga: A log! Throw another log on the fire.
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[henchmen knock on door]
Colonel Ticonderoga: [in falsetto voice] Who is it?
Jim: It's a bunch of your men. Five of 'em.
Colonel Ticonderoga: [clears throat and talks in manly voice] Be right there, men.
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Rex O'Herlihan: I'll curse if I wanna curse! Damn! Damn, damn, hell, damn, tee tee, doo doo!
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Peter: For some reason, the bad guy was always a Colonel who had a beautiful daughter and about a thousand head of cattle which you would hear but never see.
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Colonel Ticonderoga: Let me just ask you one question. There's one thing I'm most curious about. Why bring the body here? My god, this is a home! People live here!
Jim: Well, Colonel, we didn't know exactly what to do with him.
Colonel Ticonderoga: Bury him! How 'bout that? Don't you think that's a good idea?
Jud: Oh, yes sir, yes sir, Colonel!
Colonel Ticonderoga: I mean, do you think that when somebody dies, they place them permanently on the family couch?
Jim: No sir.
Colonel Ticonderoga: Gee whi-iz!
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[as Peter bites into a hallucinogenic root]
Peter: What is this?
Rex O'Herlihan: Just a root.
Peter: Hmm. Well, from now on, I'm the town root junkie.
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Rex O'Herlihan: The way a person dresses is nobody's business but his or her own.
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Rex O'Herlihan: Oh yeah, root's kicking in.
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