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Roller Blade (1986)

 -  Action | Comedy | Sci-Fi  -  July 1986 (USA)
2.8
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Ratings: 2.8/10 from 258 users  
Reviews: 17 user | 12 critic

In a futuristic society, rebels fighting against a fascist state are aided by a group of roller-skating nuns called the Bod Sisters.

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Title: Roller Blade (1986)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Suzanne Solari ...
Sister Sharon Cross
Jeff Hutchinson ...
Marshall Goodman / The Wong Ryder / Samurai Devil / Three Wise Guys / Spikers
Shaun Michelle ...
Hunter / Sister Fortune
...
Mother Speed
Sam Mann ...
Waco / Samurai devil
Robby Taylor ...
Deputy Samuel / Doctor Saticoy
Christopher Ray ...
Little Chris (as Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray)
Erin Michael ...
Helpless Victim (as Erin Michael Davidson)
Michael Cofield ...
'Skate Or Die' Traitor
Pat McClung ...
Deputy Phat
Gerald Morrison ...
The Three Wise Guys
Scott Davis ...
The Three Wise Guys
Willy Huggins ...
The Three Wise Guys / Samurai Devil
Ilija Gruenwald ...
Spiker
Joel Shawn Lucero ...
Spiker
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Storyline

In a futuristic society, rebels fighting against a fascist state are aided by a group of roller-skating nuns called the Bod Sisters.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Skate or die! See more »

Genres:

Action | Comedy | Sci-Fi

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Release Date:

July 1986 (USA)  »

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Connections

Followed by Return of the Roller Blade Seven (1992) See more »

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User Reviews

 
"Skate or die!" - uh, can I die please?
27 August 2009 | by (Williamsburg, VA) – See all my reviews

I'm not much for reading into things, but - no joke - my VCR spit this out twice last night when I put it in. Turns out I'm dumb enough to fix the problem (stuck gate) and throw the video back in.

The plot is roughly this - evil Dr. Saticoy wants a magic crystal held by The Holy Rollers (yes, roller skating nuns). The crystal has the power to heal the dead but he wants it to launch himself across a cavern to some weapons factory. Did I mention he has a mutant baby for a right hand? This is truly one of the worst films ever made. Words really can't describe how awful it is. The whole thing is dubbed (by people with heavy accents) and everyone talks as if in a Shakespeare play with lots of "Thee" and "Thou" being slung around. And, for whatever reason, in the bleak future everyone will be on roller skates. The film just drags and one can't help but wonder what kinda of drugs director Donald Jackson was on. Sadly, he tried to ply this trash as art and throws out, "If you don't like it, you don't get it" in interviews. Um, no. I actually remember liking his HELL CAME TO FROGTOWN.

The end credits threaten ROLLER BLADE PART 2: HOLY THUNDER. Jackson never burdened the world with that specific follow-up, but did unleash SIX (!!!) more ROLLER BLADE themed films, including the amusingly titled ROLLERGATOR.


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