Jack Pumpkinhead: If his brain's ran down, how can he talk?
Dorothy: It happens to people all the time, Jack.
Gump: If I had a stomach, I *know* I would be sick!
[regarding headless statues]
Dorothy: Look, Billina, these ones have lost their heads.
Billina: Now, that's what I call just plain carelessness
Billina: We come all this way to see a bunch a stiffs.
Mombi III: Not beautiful you understand, but you have a certain prettiness, different from my other heads. I believe I'll lock you in the tower for a few years until your head is ready. And then I'll take it.
Dorothy: I believe you will NOT!
Billina: Some place for a chicken coop! How big is this pond anyway?
Dorothy Gale: I don't think it's a pond, Billina.
[gets up and looks around]
Dorothy Gale: I guess it is a pond.
Billina: Hmm, told you so.
Dorothy Gale: Where did all the rest of the water go?
Dorothy Gale: Yeah, where did Kansas go? Ohh, this is some place for a chicken coop.
Dorothy Gale: When did you learn to talk anyway? I thought hens could only cluck and cackle.
Billina: Strange, ain't it? How's my grammar?
Nurse Wilson: Lie down.
Dorothy: I'd like to sit up, if I may.
Nurse Wilson: What did your aunt tell you?
Dorothy: To do what you told me, Miss Wilson.
Nurse Wilson: Then, lie down.
[the attendants are strapping Dorothy to the stretcher]
Dorothy: Why do you have to tie me down?
Nurse Wilson: So that you don't fall off.
Dorothy: I came all the way from the farm on a buggy and I didn't fall off.
[They start to wheel Dorothy down the hall]
Dorothy: Did I hear somebody scream earlier?
Nurse Wilson: No.
[They wheel Dorothy through some double doors. Dr. Worley is adjusting his machine]
Dr. J.B. Worley: Hello, Dorothy. How are you?
Dorothy: I wish I wasn't tied down.
Ozma: Why did they bring you here, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Because I can't sleep, and I talk about a place that I've been to, but nobody believes that it exists.
Dr. J.B. Worley: And how did you come back from... Oz?
Dorothy: With my ruby slippers.
Dr. J.B. Worley: How did they work?
Dorothy: You put them on and you click your heels three times, and you say "There's no place like home".
Dr. J.B. Worley: Dorothy, where are those slippers now?
Dorothy: I lost them. They fell off on the way back.
The Nome King: There's no place like home.
Dorothy: This is the old house! The one the tornado blew away. This is how I got into Oz the first time. That used to be my bedroom, and in there was the kitchen... And that's where I landed on the Wicked Witch of the East. But where all the munchkins?
Dorothy: Oh no...
Billina: That's just a yellow brick.
Dorothy: No, Billina. This was the yellow brick road. It leads to the Emerald City!
Dorothy: You're so beautiful. What's your name?
Jack Pumpkinhead: MOM! My *real* mom!
[he faints into the crowd]
Tik-Tok: I have always valued my lifelessness.
Lead Wheeler: You'll be sorry for treating me like this! I'm a TERRIBLE fierce person!
Tik-Tok: I am only a machine. So I can not be sorry or happy, no matter what happens.
Nome: Your Majesty! SHE has returned to Oz!
The Nome King: Good, good. Keep an eye on her.
Nome: [the Nome pauses, hesitant]
The Nome King: Well, what's the matter? What is it?
Nome: She has a... chicken with her.
The Nome King: A CHICKEN?
The Nome King: Don't you know that eggs are poison?
Billina: Poison, indeed!
The Nome King: Poison... poison to... nomes.
Jack Pumpkinhead: [Dorothy, Tik Tok, Bellina and Jack are all flying on the Gump] Mr. Gump, can't you fly any faster?
Gump: Not unless one of you wants to jump off.
Tik-Tok: These Wheelers can be tricky customers.
Lead Wheeler: Come here... chicken!
The Nome King: Why doesn't the sofa go first.
Gump: But I don't have anything to touch with.
The Nome King: You can use your antlers.
Gump: I should have quit when I was a head.
Jack Pumpkinhead: [the trio are assembling the Gump together, but Tik-Tok's brains are running down] Here's a broom Tik-Tok, it'll make a great tail.
Tik-Tok: Excellent. Now we must Gump the head at the front, and tie Jack's feet together.
Jack Pumpkinhead: Right. Tie my feet together
[Jack does so]
Tik-Tok: Bring that mantlepiece to the desk, and then annoint the palms!
Jack Pumpkinhead: Right, annoint the-
[Jack falls due to his feet being tied]
Tik-Tok: That is right Jack. Left, right, wrong.
Jack Pumpkinhead: What are you talking about Tik-Tok?
Tik-Tok: Little girl, squaking eggs, make chicken fly the coop.
Lead Wheeler: You have to come out sooner or later. And when you do, we'll tear you into little pieces and throw you in the deadly desert!
Dorothy Gale: I haven't done anything to you.
Lead Wheeler: Isn't that a stolen lunch pail in your hand? Isn't that a chicken in there with you? The Nome King doesn't allow chickens anywhere in Oz!
Dorothy Gale: Who's the Nome King?
Lead Wheeler: Who is the Nome King?
Gump: The last thing I remember is walking through the forest and hearing a loud noise. Now, here I am flying through the air. What am I anyway?
Dorothy: You're a... a thing, with a Gump's head on it. We built you and brought you to life so you can take us to the Nome King; to rescue the Scarecrow.
Lead Wheeler: Please, let me go. Please, please, let me go. Pleeaase, let me go! Let me go!
Dorothy: All right Tik Tok, let him go.
Tik-Tok: [to Wheeler] Behave yourself now!
Lead Wheeler: I WILL behave! I'll-I'll behave!
[Tik Tok lets him go]
Lead Wheeler: [Wheeler laughs] Behave!
Lead Wheeler: [laughing] Behave... I'll be... - ohhps!
Lead Wheeler: [laughing] YOU BEHAVE!
Nome: ...there's no sign of the CHICKEN!
Dorothy: Patented Clockwork Mechanical Man. Does everything but live. For Thinking, wind number 1 under left arm. For Speaking, wind number 2 under right arm. For Walking & Action, wind number 3, middle of back. Guaranteed to work perfectly for a thousand years.
Billina: Aww, you don't believe that do ya?
Dorothy: I don't know. I'll wind him up and we'll see.
Nurse Wilson: [as Mombi] ... Doooorothy Gaaale!
Jack Pumpkinhead: [to Dorothy] May I call you Mom, even if it isn't so?
Aunt Em: The clinic was struck by lightning and it burnt to the ground. Everybody was rescued, except Dr. Worley, he ran back in to save his machines.
Jack Pumpkinhead: [everybody's falling off the Gump and out of the sky] I'm sorry, Mom!
Dorothy: It's okay, Jack, it can't be helped now!
Mombi II: I think Number 4 will do for this afternoon.
Nurse Wilson: [as Mombie] Where's my powder of life?