Tom Baxter: You make love without fading out?
Tom Baxter: Dad was a card. I never met him. He died before the movie began.
Cecilia: I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything.
The Countess: Go with the real guy, honey, we're limited.
Rita: Go with Tom! He's got no flaws!
Delilah: Go with SOMEBODY, child, 'cause I's gettin' bored.
Tom Baxter: Cecilia, it's clear how miserable you are with your husband. And if he hits you again, you tell me. I'd be forced to knock his teeth out.
Cecilia: I don't think that'd be such a good idea. He's big.
Tom Baxter: I'm sorry. It's written into my character to do it, so I do it.
Tom Baxter: I don't get hurt or bleed, hair doesn't muss; it's one of the advantages of being imaginary.
Tom Baxter: I was thinking about some very deep things. About God and his relation with Irving Saks and R.H. Levine. And I was thinking about life in general. The origin of everything we see about us. The finality of death; how almost magical it seems in the real world, as opposed to the world of celluloid and flickering shadows.
Hooker: [to another hooker] Where did you FIND this clown?
Tom Baxter: [to Cecilia] I love you. I'm honest, dependable, courageous, romantic, and a great kisser.
Gil Shepherd: And I'm real.
Movie Patron: You can't talk to my wife that way - who do you think you are?
The Countess: I'm a genuine countess with a lot of dough, and if that's your wife she's a tub of guts.
Gil's Agent: Tom Baxter's come down off the screen and he's running around New Jersey!... Nobody knows how it happened, but he's done it.
Gil Shepherd: How can he do that? It's not physically possible!
Gil's Agent: In New Jersey anything can happen.
Jason: What are you people doing here? We can't continue the story 'til Tom gets back.
Harold: Oh, we don't mind observing you all.
Harold's Wife: Yes. My husband is a student of the human personality.
Rita: Oh yeah, well we're not human.
Harold's Wife: It doesn't matter to Harold. He has trouble with humans.
Moviegoer: I want what happened in the movie last week to happen this week; otherwise, what's life all about anyway?
The Countess: You know what they get for rape in a small town? Especially by a man in a pith helmet?
Gil Shepherd: You can't learn to be real. It's like learning to be a midget.
Tom Baxter: It's so impulsive, but... I'll come. Why not? What's life without a little risk taking? Who knows?
Monk: All right, go ahead. Just see how far you get. Go on, go on. You won't last. You'll see how it is in the real world. Go on. You'll come back. You're just bluff. You're all phony. You'll be back. It may take a week, it may take an hour, but you'll be back.
Rita: This is just disgusting! I am an heiress and I don't have to put up with this!
Henry: No! No! Don't turn the projector off! No! No! It gets black and we disappear!
Jason: I'm bored with sitting around. I'm a dramatic character. I need forward motion.
Reporter: If he turns off the projector, you're liable to strand this, this Tom Baxter out in the world someplace. You want an extra guy running around?
Mr. Hirsch's Lawyer: As your lawyer, I advise you to get control of it fast. A character from one of your productions on the loose? Who knows what he's capable of? Robbery? Murder? I see lawsuits.
Tom Baxter: I guess I have to get a job.
Cecilia: That's not gonna be so easy either - right now the whole country's out of work.
Tom Baxter: Well, then, we'll live on love. We'll have to make some concessions, but so what? We'll have each other
Cecilia: That's movie talk.
Larry: I want to go too! I wanna be free! I want out!
Mr. Hirsch's Lawyer: I'm warning you, that's Communist talk!
Hooker: Do you wanna tie me up?
Tom Baxter: [laughs] You're funny! She's funny! The absurd non-sequitur.
Gil Shepherd: Where's Tom?
Gil Shepherd: Well, he's my character. I created him.
Cecilia: Didn't the man who wrote the movie do that?
Theater Manager: Oh Cecilia, be careful! You all right?
Theater Manager: You're gonna like this one, it's better than last week's, more romantic.
Theater Manager: Cecilia, what are you doing here?
Cecilia: Meeting Gil Shepherd.
Theater Manager: They all gone.
Cecilia: Th - whaddaya, whaddaya mean?
Theater Manager: They went back to Hollywood.
Cecilia: Gil too?
Theater Manager: Mr Shepherd, yeah. Soon as Tom Baxter went back up on the movie screen - couldn't wait to get outta here. He said this was a close call for his career. I think he's gonna play Charles Lindbergh.
Theater Manager: Don't forget, Cecilia, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers start today.
Rita: Hey, open the champagne. I feel like getting plushed to the scuppers!
Tom Baxter: I still can't get over the fact that hours ago I was in an Egyptian tomb. I didn't know any of you wonderful people, and here I am now! I'm on the verge of a madcap Manhattan weekend!
Tom Baxter: [pauses after kissing Cecilia] Where's the fade-out?
Tom Baxter: Always when the kissing gets hot and heavy just before the lovemaking, there's a fadeout.
Cecilia: Then what?
Tom Baxter: Then we're making love in some private, perfect place.
Cecilia: That's not how it happens here.
Tom Baxter: What, there's no fade out?
Cecilia: No, but when you kissed me, I felt like my heart faded out. I closed my eyes, and I was in some private place.
Tom Baxter: How fascinating. You make love without fading out?
Tom Baxter: Well, I can't wait to see this!