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A Private Function (1984) Poster

Quotes

Joyce Chilvers: I think sexual intercourse is in order, Gilbert.

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Dr. Charles Swaby: In Westminster Abbey tomorrow morning, a young couple are getting married of a purity and a nobility scum like you just can't comprehend.

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Joyce Chilvers: I want a future that lives up to my past.

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Dr. Charles Swaby: Now, under this National Health Service, any poorly little pillock can come into my surgery and say "I'm ill! Treat me!" Honestly, sometimes I wonder what the last war was FOR.

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Morris Wormold the Meat Inspector: My experience has been, Mrs Forbes, that when people say they are only human, it's because they have been making beasts of themselves.

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[the pig has been abducted]

Grand Hotel Manager: I can put my hands on two turkeys in Bradford.

Frank Lockwood the Solicitor: Two? TWO? We've got a hundred and fifty people coming! And Jesus isn't one of them!

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P.C. Penny: [upon spotting a single, solitary banana] Mrs Medcalf, are you wanting that banana?

Mrs. Dorcus Medcalf: I am, love; I'm planning a trifle.

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Joyce Chilvers: It's not pork, Gilbert, it's power!

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