Memorable quotes for
Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)

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Mickey: I'm bad, Pee-wee. You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner. A rebel.
Pee-wee: Deja Vu.

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Pee-wee: There's a lot of things about me that you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

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[after Pee Wee passes out]
Texan: What's your name?
Pee-wee: I don't remember.
Texan: Where are you from?
Pee-wee: I don't remember.
Texan: Do you remember anything?
Pee-wee: I remember... the Alamo.
[Texans cheer]

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Pee-wee: Go ahead and scream your head off! We're miles from where anyone can hear you!

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Pee-wee: The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...

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Madame Ruby: For twenty dollars I can tell you a lot of things. For thirty dollars I can tell you more. And for fifty dollars I can tell you *everything*.
Pee-wee: Tell me why I'm here first.
Madame Ruby: You're here because you... want something!

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[Dottie answers the phone]
Dottie: Hello?
Pee-wee: Hi, Dottie, it's Pee-wee!
Dottie: Pee-wee? Where are you calling from?
Pee-wee: Texas!
Dottie: Huh?
Pee-wee: Honest! I'll prove it!
[singing]
Pee-wee: The stars at night are big and bright...
Passersby: [singing and clapping] ... deep in the heart of Texas!

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Simone: I know you're right, Pee-wee, but...
Pee-wee: Everyone I know has a big "But...? C'mon, Simone, let's talk about *your* big "But".

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Pee-wee: Is this something you can share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?

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[At a life-size diorama in the Alamo]
Tina: This is one of my favorite parts of the tour. Say hello to our residents, Pedro and his wife Inez. Pedro is working on an "adobe." Can you say that with me?
[Tour group responds, "Adobe."]
Tina: Inez is holding a clay pot, of which she seems to be very proud. She has decorated it with lots of paint and glaze.

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Tina: Yes, there are thousands and thousands of uses for corn, all of which I'm going to tell you about right now!

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[Pee-wee walks into a noisy biker bar to use a pay-phone]
Pee-wee: Shhhhhhhh! I'm trying to use the phone!
Biker #1: Did anybody tell you that this is the private club of the Satan's Helpers?
Pee-wee: Nobody "hipped" me to that, dude.

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Biker #2: I say we kill him!
Biker Gang: [shouts] Yeah!
Biker #3: I say we hang him, then we kill him!
Biker Gang: [shouts] Yeah!
Biker #4: I say we scalp him!
Biker Gang: [shouts] Yeah!
Biker #4: Then we tattoo him!
Biker Gang: [shouts] Yeah!
Biker #4: Then we hang him!
Biker Gang: [shouts] Yeah!
Biker #4: And then we kill him!
Biker Gang: [shouts] Yeah!
Pee-wee: [trying to throw voice without moving lips] I say we let him go.
Biker Gang: [shouts] No!
Biker Mama: [whistles] I say you let me have him first
Biker Gang: Yeah!

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Pee-wee: [holding a pen] Exhibit "D"! Jimmy, what is this - too late! Chip?
Chip: Uh... it looks like a pen.
Pee-wee: Exactly! I bought this pen one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I don't know!

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Pee-wee: I'm here to see Francis!
Butler: Francis is busy.
Pee-wee: Busy doing what?
Butler: He's having his bath.
Pee-wee: Oh, really?
[shouts]
Pee-wee: Where are they hosing him down?

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Pee-wee: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!
Francis: Then you're crazy!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You're a nerd!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You're an idiot!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Pee-Wee, Francis: I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? Pee-wee: Infinity!
Francis: No, I'm not.
Francis, Pee-Wee: You are! No way! Knock it off! Cut it out!
Francis: Shut up, Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: Why don't you make me.
Francis: You make me!
Pee-wee: Because. I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em.
Francis: Pee-wee listen to reason.
[Pee-Wee cuffs his hand around his ear in a listening motion]
Francis: Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: Sh! I'm listening to reason.
Francis: Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: That's my name, don't wear it out.
Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding past my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?
Pee-wee: I love that story.
[jumps on bike and pedals away]
Francis: You'll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman!

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Pee-wee: I know you are, but what am I?

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Francis: Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.
Pee-wee: Good for you and your father.
Francis: So guess what I want.
Pee-wee: A new brain?
Francis: No. Your bike!

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[Pee-Wee looks at Mickey's hand as he is wearing one handcuff]
Pee-wee: What did you do?
Mickey: Well, I lost my temper and I took a knife and I uh-. Do you know those "Do Not Remove Under the Penalty of Law" labels they put on mattresses?
Pee-wee: Yeah.
Mickey: Well I CUT one of them off!
Pee-wee: Jee.
Mickey: Yeah, I have a real bad temper.
Pee-wee: Boy, I always thought that was the dumbest law.

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Pee-wee: [after seeing Mickey's broken handcuffs] So, what did you do.
Mickey: Well, I lst my temper and I took a knife and...
[short pause]
Mickey: Do you know those "under the penalty of law, do not remove" tags that they put on mattresses?
Pee-wee: Yeah.
Mickey: Well, I "cut" one of them off.

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[Pee-wee is offering a $10,000 reward to whoever finds his bike]
Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!

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Pee-wee: Have a nice day.
Large Marge: Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya! Heh heh heh heh heh.

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[Pee-wee has been picked up by a trucker]
Pee-wee: Some night, huh?
Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, along this very stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...
[Turns to Pee-wee and makes grotesque face]
Pee-wee: Aaaaaahh!
Large Marge: Yes, Sir, the worst accident I ever seen.

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Pee-wee: Large Marge sent me.
Man in Diner: Did you say Large Marge?
Pee-wee: She just dropped me off.
Man in Diner: That's impossible. She's... It was ten years ago on a night just like tonight. Worst accident I ever seen.
Pee-wee: That means the Large Marge I was riding with was...
All: Her ghost!

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[Showing Pee-wee a box of new gags]
Mario: Fake blood... Or is it?
Pee-wee: Yuck, no.
Mario: Super stink bomb?
Pee-wee: Have some.
Mario: Shrunken head?
Pee-wee: No.
Mario: Regular sized?
Pee-wee: No.
Mario: How about this.
[Brings out enormous head]
Pee-wee: Noooooo!
Mario: Trick gum? Headlight glasses? And how about an Australian Boomerang bowtie?
Pee-wee: 'Come in red?

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Kevin Morton: Well, is everything straightened out?
Jerry: We are ready whenever you are.
Kevin Morton: Doesn't it look like I'm ready?
[loudly]
Kevin Morton: I am ALWAYS ready! I have BEEN ready since first call! I AM READY! Roll!
Jerry: Quiet, please! This is a take. Roll, please.
Cameraman: Speed!
Kevin Morton: ACTION!
Jerry: Action!

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Tina: There's no basement in the Alamo!

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Pee-wee Herman: [as hotel desk clerk; in deep voice] Paging Mr. Herman! Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk!

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Pee-wee: There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

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Pee-wee: Andy!

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Pee-wee: [falls off bike after attempting tricks] I meant to do that!

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Pee-wee: Good morning, Pee Wee.
Pee-wee: Good morning, Mr. Breakfast!
Pee-wee: Can I have some Mr. T cereal?
Pee-wee: OK!
Pee-wee: I pity the foo' that don't eat Mr. T cereal!

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[Three hours into Pee-wee's long, boring meeting, Pee-wee shows a scale-model of the mall where his bike was stolen, with arrows pointing certain spots as well as the X showing where his bike was]
Pee-wee: Exhibit "Q"! a scale-model of the entire mall! X marks the scene of the crime. These arrows here show the exact position of the sun at the hour of the crime. Jupiter was aligned with Pluto! The moon was in the seventh...
Chuck: Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: Please save your questions until I'm THROUGH, Chuck!

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[Everyone is leaving Pee-wee's basement, while Pee-wee goes on with his boring evidence meeting]
Dottie: Pee-wee, let's go up and get some fresh air, alright?
Pee-wee: What for?
Dottie: Because it's hot in here.
Pee-wee: Hot? Who's hot? Feels just fine to me.
[sarcastically]
Pee-wee: I feel just PERFECT! In fact, I can't remember when I felt quite so COZY down here!
Dottie: Pee-wee, I think I can get Chuck to give you a good break on one of the bikes in the shop.
Pee-wee: I don't want some other crappy bike!
Dottie: Well, Pee-wee, listen, if you want my help...
Pee-wee: [shouting] I DON'T want your help! I don't need the police and I DON'T NEED YOU!
[screaming]
Pee-wee: I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!

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Simone: Do you have any dreams?
Pee-wee: Yeah, I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest...

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Simone: [in French] Ah! Pee-Wee! Haha! C'est magnifique! Voici Pierre.
Pierre: Bonsoir.
Pee-wee: Ditto. Here, brought you guys French Fries! Hahaha!
Simone, Pierre: [together] Merci beaucoup, Pee-Wee!
Pee-wee: Merci-bleh-bleh!

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Himself - as PeeWee: [is handed the desk phone] Yes? Uh-huh, yes, I understand
[hangs up the phone]
Herself - as 'Dottie': Who was it?
Himself - as PeeWee: It was the president again. I have to steal back the X1 before the Soviets find the compartmants that contain the microfilm.

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Mickey: [coming out of the window of a prison bus after seeing the first part of the movie] Great so far Pee-Wee, action packed.
Pee-wee Herman: [hands Mickey his refreshments] Here's your soda, and one
[winks at Mickey]
Pee-wee Herman: foot long.
[the cop sees a saw and picks it out of the foot long]
Mickey: Nice try Pee-Wee.
Pee-wee Herman: Look.
Mickey: [after seeing a scene in the movie with Pee-Wee] Wow. That's fantastic, Pee-Wee.

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