6.0/10
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Ninja Holocaust (1985)

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Credited cast:
Phillip Ko
Sandy Kwon ...
(as Chae Eun Hee)
John Ladalski
Casanova Wong
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Strewth!!!
1 April 2007 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

Well first things first – the IMDb cast listing for this film is actually erroneous. The said listing in fact ostensibly refers to Godfrey Ho's Ninja Thunderbolt which was released the same year.

That aside and onto the film in question and - Jesus H Christ! – Where do I even begin with this one?!

OK….let me try and shed some light on matters….. As best as I could discern, the 'plot' involved a number of somewhat shady characters' search for a missing necklace that apparently had etched into it, the number to a Swiss bank account. Sounds simple enough? Well maybe on paper it might, but not on screen I can assure you!

Containing enough sub plots to fill an average soap opera for a whole year, a veritable plethora of fight scenes (very well choreographed I might add) that break out at any given opportunity for no apparent reason whatsoever (!), a healthy dose of gratuitous nudity and sex (including one scene in which a couple are having intercourse in a boxing ring followed by on a rowing machine!) and a whole slew of characters who come and go without seeming explanation and you have one hell of a head scratching affair on your hands!

But let's be honest – all this is such bloody hilarious fun!

The film literally races along, not giving you time to take a breath from one energetic fight scene to another (or allowing you sufficient time to contemplate what the hell is in fact going on!) and when it eventually reaches it's abrupt ending you'll be left completely dumbfounded as to what in hell you've just sat through. Suffice to say, you won't really care as you'll be too busy nursing your stomach from laughing so hard throughout!

Yes, it is indeed my honour to hereby award Ninja Holocaust the lofty status of a true bad movie classic! Tremendous fun from start to finish and I'm still none the wiser for what I've just sat through!


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