3.2/10
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27 user 20 critic

Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985)

R | | Action | April 1985 (USA)
Two anti-terrorist agents are assigned to free a busload of American schoolchildren in the Philippines who are taken hostage by terrorists.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Spike Shinobi
...
Emilia Crow ...
Jennifer Barnes (as Emilia Lesniak)
Blackie Dammett ...
Alby the Cruel
Regina Richardson ...
Honey Hump
Vijay Amritraj ...
Rankin
Lisa Friedman ...
Tour Guide
...
Kane
Shane Kosugi ...
Shane
Bruce Fanger ...
Dr. Wolf
Sonny Erang ...
Rahji
Aiko Cownden ...
Marisa Lee
Jennifer Crumrine ...
Amanda
Helen McNeely ...
Mrs. Garcia
Protacio Dee ...
Feng Fu
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Storyline

A group of drug runners/freedom fighters has kidnapped a busload of tourists in the Philippines and is threatening to kill them all if one of their partners is not released from prison and the government doesn't halt its anti-drug policies. To stop the criminals, a trio of specialist soldiers are called in. Even with all their training, will they be able to stop the terrorists when they begin killing hostages and turning loose their squads of attack midgets? Written by Jean-Marc Rocher <rocher@fiberbit.net>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The Ninja Master... is now The Ninja Avenger

Genres:

Action

Certificate:

R | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

April 1985 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

9 Deaths of the Ninja  »

Filming Locations:


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Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
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Did You Know?

Connections

Referenced in Kingkoy: Ninja Komisyon (1986) See more »

Soundtracks

Take Me High
Music by Cecile Colayco
Lyrics by Jose Javier Reyes
Performed by Ivy Violan
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User Reviews

Hysterical movie for all the wrong reasons
19 September 2004 | by (Brussels, Belgium) – See all my reviews

For starters, the title is misleading. Nine Deaths of a Ninja? Fat chance. I hope the ninja would have used up his nine lives early on and get this movie done with. Nine deaths? Pfffft.

Okay, the plot, if there is one. A German (of course a German, and a Nazi, swastika flag and all) terrorist and his amazing bunch of henchmen and -women kidnap a bus load of tourists. They take them to a remote place in jungle and demand the release of Rahji Mohammed, some kind of fellow terrorist. The best special team, consisting of Shô Kosugi, Brent Huff who looks like he's escaped from a toothpaste ad and a gorgeous but oh-so-clever blonde Emilia Crow, is sent to take care of the problem.

The actor who plays Rahji Mohammed, Sonny Erang, sure has a challenging role to play. No one, not even the severely retarded mental patients I have seen in hospitals, laugh menacingly all the time. Rahji had two or three lines in the whole movie, the rest of the time he just laughs. Oh and he must be a really nasty guy: he takes some balloons away from children and squeezes the balloons until they pop. Terrifying. The rest of the terrorists show their bad to the core nature by stealing medication from a girl with severe heart condition.

The rest of the actors are just as wooden as Sonny Erang. Brent Huff is expressive as a brick (and I always thought Ben Affleck is wooden!) and Shô Kosugi is downright awful. The same you can say about every single soul in this pathetic excuse of a martial arts movie. Oh wait! There is someone who was relaxed and expressive: the little monkey. He was well cast.

The fight scenes are so stupid they are laughable. The bad guys stand in line and neatly wait their turn as they are being slaughtered. I wonder why this movie has been cut and given high PG, there is nothing to see here, not so gory violence and no sex, excluding a pair of titties in one scene.

Saving the hostages is forgotten for a long time while the brave men of the rescue team visit a floating whorehouse (Madame Whoopee's Floating House of Fun or something like that) where the assassin-trained whores try to kill our hero's, but one of the assassins loses her bikini top and they have to abort the mission...

The "hejsan så ska vi dansa" amazon women, lead by the queen bitch Honey Hump (!!) are maybe the most laughable element of this movie. And the Rahji's explosives in the mouth scene... how the hell can it leave the head untouched but come out of his butt???! Beats the hell out of me. But what can you expect of a movie where the best actor is a monkey in diapers.


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