Memorable quotes for
European Vacation (1985) More at IMDbPro »

Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink?
Clark Griswold: Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?
Clark Griswold: No, I'll have it right here.

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[in Germany, Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes]
Clark Griswold: There it is, kids, my motherland.
Rusty Griswold: Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
Clark Griswold: Shut up, Russ.

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[In England]
Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Clark Griswold: Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.

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Clark Griswold: Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids. That's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold: She works? What does she do, Dad?
Clark Griswold: She queens... And she vacuums.

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Clark Griswold: [singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time.

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Ellen Griswold: Look back there!
Clark Griswold: Yeah, it's a hooker...
Ellen Griswold: Look who she's with!
[Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker]

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Rusty Griswold: Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?
Clark Griswold: That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.

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[In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut]
Rusty Griswold: That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad!
Clark Griswold: Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you?

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Clark Griswold: There's the Left Bank, kids. Russ, I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.
Rusty Griswold: The Bank of America.

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[In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house]
Clark Griswold: What are we looking for?
Audrey Griswold: Sex dad.
Clark Griswold: That'll do Audrey.
Rusty Griswold: Dad that's German for six.

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[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]
Clark Griswold: Get in.
Rusty Griswold: What Happened?
Audrey Griswold: Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.

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Ellen Griswold: Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
Clark Griswold: Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.

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[Repeated line]
Audrey Griswold: I miss Jack!

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[From the dinner scene with Helga and Fritz. This line was not Translated and Subtitled]
Fritz Spritz: Isn't that Herman's children?
Helga Spritz: Herman never had kids.

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Clark Griswold: [Reapedly saying it while he can't turn left] Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.

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Cafe Waiter: [to Clark in French] Go fuck yourself.

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Ellen Griswold: [Ellen opens door, seeing there is no bathroom] Clark, there's no bathroom.
Clark Griswold: Honey, I'm sure Europeans go to the bathroom.
[Clark opens door to his left to find another closet with a mattress inside]
Clark Griswold: ... Maybe they don't.

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Rusty Griswold: [watching the romantic couple make out at the table] Dad he's grabbing her tits right there at the table!
Clark Griswold: Just eat your breakfast, Russ.
Rusty Griswold: [Rusty still watching the couple] ... Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
Clark Griswold: He's not gonna pork her, Russ.
Rusty Griswold: I think he's gonna.
Clark Griswold: He may pork her, finish your breakfast.

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Rusty Griswold: [comes in the room while Clark is brushing his teeth in a bowl] ... Hey, Dad, look. Bed pans!

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Hotel Manager: [speaking in a gibberish English dialect]
[Clark tries to translate]
Rusty Griswold: Dad, he's speaking English.

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Hotel Desk Clerk: [looking at the Griswolds passports with laughter] ... Typical American assholes.

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[last lines]
Rusty Griswold: ...Yep, the Griswolds are back.

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Ellen Griswold: [dead silence as no-one is answering the final question] ... Clark!
Kent Winkdale, host of 'Pig in a Poke': That's it. Clark... of Lewis and Clark. And the Griswold's are our grand prize winners!

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Audrey Griswold: [after seeing the large German sausage dish served by Helga] ... God, I miss Jack.

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Kent Winkdale, host of 'Pig in a Poke': What are the pyramidal tracks?
Clark Griswold: [thinking] ... Kent, I believe the pyramidal tracks are housing development outside of Cairo.

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Jack: [voice over in letter] I miss the shit outta you.

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Rusty Griswold: Oink oink, my good man!

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