A modern-day updating of the Dracula legend that finds Steven, a good-looking American hero devastated by the death of his girlfriend, wandering through Europe and looking for happiness. A ... See full summary »
Told in Documentary form, the film depicts a group of five British film critics and politicians who venture off into the West Virginian wilderness in search of the "Tony Blair Witch" which ... See full summary »
Michael A. Martinez
C. Alan Ploegsma,
A group of hobgoblins, who allow you to live out your fantasies but kill you in the process, escape from a studio vault, and a security guard and his friends must stop them before dawn. Written by
Brendan Dillon <email@example.com>
Nick dives onto the hand grenade, but he is standing when it explodes. See more »
[Dennis is listening to his radio]
[takes off his headphones]
Hey! What gives?
You're being paid to work around here, not just sit around and blast your eardrums!
Hey, take it easy. I can do both.
[a phone rings, McCreedy answers]
Didn't you hear the phone ringing?
[...] See more »
PLEASE REMAIN SEATED UNTIL THE FILM COMES TO A COMPLETE STOP. See more »
So there's an old security guard and a guy who dies and then there's KEVIN, the world's biggest wuss. Kevin wants to impress his incredibly insensitive, bratty, and virginal girlfriend AMY. As he returns from work to... a random house... he finds his "friends," the sexually confusing red-shorted KYLE and the truly revolting sluttish DAPHNE. They are soon joined by Daphne's boyfriend, the trigger-happy sex-crazed macho lunkhead NICK. And there's the title creatures, horrid little dogeared puppets who kill people by giving them their heart's desire. Kyle's heart's desire is to mate with a creepy, yucky woman in spandex. Nick's heart's desire is to throw grenades in a grade school cafeteria-- I mean nightclub. Kevin's heart's desire is to beat up a skinny thug with nunchucks. Amy's heart's desire is to be a disgusting slut. Daphne's already a disgusting slut, so she doesn't have a heart's desire. Along the way a truly hideous band sings a truly odd song. The hobgoblins randomly go back to where they came from then blow up. "Citizen Kane" cannot hold a candle to this true masterpiece of American cinema.
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