Hard Rock Zombies (1985) Poster

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6/10
Entertaining Low Budget MTV Type of Thing
DevilPaul11 October 2006
I had the pleasure of viewing yet another odd addition to the zombie horror genre: Hard Rock Zombies. Our movie starts out with some blond chick hitch-hiking on the highway who then gets picked up by 2 guys in a sports car, goes skinny dipping with them, and then kills them both while a man accompanied by 2 weird midgets (one of which is deformed) photographs the entire event. Then we are introduced to the main characters of our flick, a rock band, led by Jessie who is the bass player and lead singer. They're jamming at a gig and then head into a back room after the show to have some fun with the groupies. While in the back room, a strange girl named Cassie warns Jessie not to play their next gig in this town called Grand Guignol. When he asks for an explanation she doesn't give him one and leaves Jessie hanging. Problem is, they can't skip the next town because a big shot talent scout is going to be there to watch the show.

So they go to Grand Guignol anyways even though they've been warned. On the way, Jessie is fumbling around with an ancient incantation he found while playing it over a rock bass line. They show up in the town, which is composed of stereotypical local yokel folks, and dance around. Yes, that's right - dance around. See, Hard Rock Zombies is also a musical and whenever the movie takes you into a musical number it's shot like a music video. This is pretty hilarious since the music is standard cheese ball 80's stuff and the antics in the video are lame at best. Still, I'm laughing.

Well, wouldn't you know, the same blond chick from the opening scene lives there and offers to put the band up in her mansion vice the local hotel. They accept since every one of the members wants to nail her except for Jessie who is falling for the odd Cassie girl. Unbeknownest to our heroes, Adolph Hitler, Eva Braun (who is also a werewolf), and the photographer with his 2 weird midgets also live in the mansion. The town is also not happy that they've arrived and quickly pass a measure to ban all rock and roll music at a town meeting. Jessie finds out that his incantation is effective for bringing the dead back to life after fooling around with it in his room. He then records it with his bass line and tells Cassie to play the tape at their graves should something tragic happen to him and the band.

Sure enough, Adolph and his buddies kill the entire band in various ways including one scene that's an obvious tribute to Hitchcock's "Psycho". The heart broken Cassie laments at Jessie's grave and then plays the tape. Voila! Our heroes emerge from the grave, looking paler, and proceed to walk and dance around the town like robots. Yes, that's right, LIKE ROBOTS. The standard groaning, lumbering slowly, and arms straight out zombie gait does not apply here. Oh yeah, and this is set to another cool song with the accompanying music video. Groovy!

Our heroes take revenge on their antagonizers and then play their gig to an audience of one: the talent scout. Another music video accompanies this bit and it's a sentimental ballad dedicated to Cassie. Things get crazier from there. More people come back from the dead and the deformed midget sits at the dinner table and decides to eat HIMSELF. The town residents go into a panic and devise humorous ways to defeat the zombies. Finally one person convinces the rest that they need a virgin to be ravished by the zombies at midnight on a full moon so that the zombies will slumber for 100 years. Guess who the virgin is?

I won't give away the ending but the deformed midget does succeed in eating himself and Hitler's gas chamber makes an appearance. Hard Rock Zombies has gotten crap reviews on almost every site that I looked at. Well, I think that what these people were missing was that Hard Rock Zombies is not a movie to be taken seriously. This is strictly campy fun and I got quite a few laughs from it. Hard Rock Zombies succeeds as a horror based comedy, not by design, but only by serendipity.
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2/10
Unendurable, even when drunk ...
Coventry8 March 2010
Ten years ago, I would have instantly and blindly considered this to be a great film purely based on the title and awesome DVD-cover. In the meanwhile, however, I struggled myself through enough bad movies to know what a film like "Hard Rock Zombies" really stand for: multiple overlong interludes in which horrible songs are played from start to finish, a non-existent storyline build around an untalented band and of course a complete absence of atmosphere, tension or black comedy. The horrible rock band (that is so not HARD-rock they're playing) of which I can't even remember the name arrives in a little town that disapproves of music. Yes, this is somewhat of a horror parody on "Footloose" only not that funny or memorable. Instead of a puritan reverend, the band members in this town are up against demented characters like a werewolf grandmother in a wheelchair, evil midgets and the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler himself. The band losers get killed but return from the death even stupider looking than before and take their revenge. Even if you can get past the shameless Nazi propaganda footage and the totally random "Psycho" imitations, "Hard Rock Zombies" is still a dreadfully dumb and boring movie! There's an endless amount of padding, not only through lame music but also through dialog sequences that are purposelessly stretched. There's a gore, but of the lamest kind and the jokes aren't even funny when you're drunk or stoned. There's a scene, for example, in which one brainiac states: "Ghouls don't like head, so they'll let us escape". What? Next thing you see is literally people walking past the ghouls whilst holding pictures of giant heads. There's no way I can be intoxicated enough for humor like this. I do reward this retarded film with one whole point extra for the self-devouring midget. That was quite cool.
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So bad it's good
soccerbabe5851 June 2003
This movie is AWFUL, don't believe otherwise! The acting is absolutely terrible, the plot is nonexsistent, and even the makeup is cheap. Yet all of this adds up to a hilariously bad zombie movie! The humor itself isn't funny at all, yet it's amusing because you're laughing AT it, not with it. I really enjoyed it, although it had no redeeming qualities at all! Basically it is one of the worst movies ever made, and for that reason it's pretty funny.
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1/10
I suppose it's the music that really sinks the film. It's really terrible!
Spent Bullets21 July 2007
Ah, eighties music. When it was good, it was good; and when it was forgettable, it lives on only in artifacts such as this movie. Rock and roll zombies, midget Nazi rednecks, a grandma who turns into a werewolf, a nearly mute young girl with Groucho Marx's eyebrows, and Adolph Hitler himself—how can you go wrong with a lineup like that? Very easily! All in all, a bland movie. You can obviously see how the filmmakers were trying to keep themselves interested, with limited results: The Hitler scene (I honestly thought the movie would get better after that); Hitchhiker Girl's repeated interpretive dance sequences; even the deformed dwarf slowly eating his entire body (in the last scene, he's nothing but a head -- and then he sucks his face into his mouth and chews, leaving only a skull). Despite all that, you could almost hear the director yawning. Or maybe that was me.
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10/10
Near perfection
TimCalhoun21 June 2003
This is truly a great movie, if you are a fan such as I. this is one of the horror movies that will disappoint if you are looking to be scared or for a quality film, however, it is perfect if you are looking for a lame-horror comedy. I suggest any fans of such genre pick up this movie and watch it religiously.
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1/10
Worst Rock n Roll Zombie Moovie Ever?? Prob'ly!! ;=8)
MooCowMo28 November 2006
The tepid, dreadful zombie flick scrapes the bottom of the barrel, in a way that is truly insulting to barrels. Every possible cliché is driven home with all the subtlety of a steam hammer; every aspect of professional production is gleefully shredded by the intense non-talent in this film. BUT... You simply have to see it. A mess beyond all messes.

Oh, and stink-fans, your boy Sam Mann, from the equally-wretched "Roller Blade", is in this too (as the 'drummer'). In fact, our boy Mann was in several Donald G. Jaclson stinkers, moostly of the Roller Blade variety. Now he's in this pile of cow pooo too - isn't life sweet???

;=8)
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1/10
This movie is a travesty to both 80's hard rock and zombie movies.
nshaw4 January 2006
I was given this film on DVD as a present by a friend. Giving this movie a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 is not fair. Negative numbers should be possible.

Granted, its so terrible that its slightly funny (like when and old woman turns out to be Hitler in disguise), for the most part this movie was simply terrible.

You have to suffer through an entire sequence of these Bon Jovi looking idiots dancing around to music that is more like really bad disco/elevator music. I like 80's cheese metal. There was none in this movie.

It is the single least convincing zombie movie ever made. The production values and special effects of this movie amounted to effects that you can make yourself (even if you are mentally retarded and can only use your feet). The zombies simply look like people with flour dashed on them and lots of mascara.

Most real bad movies at least have something that passes for a plot. Not this one. It was just several scenes put together with more "zombies" (people with flour sprinkled on them) at the end than that at the beginning.

I dunno. Maybe I should have been high when I watched this. I just felt like an hour of my life was wasted on something that was so terrible you could not even laugh at it. It was like watching a car accident, but a car accident at least has really good special effects.

The CIA ought to use this movie to interrogate terrorists.
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2/10
Horrifically terrible
fiona davidson3 October 2004
Anyone going into this movie looking for a blood curdling shocker is barking up the wrong tree here. The title of the movie should tell you that. On the other hand, if you want to feel the tears run down your cheeks from incredulous laughter and your throat get sore with the groaning at the awful sight that's facing you, then maybe you will be able to suffer it.

Rock star wannabes who maybe should have found out what music is first, a dwarf Nazi zombie, a re-incarnated Adolf Hitler, a few dim bimbos, terrible audio and visual and you have everything you could possibly want!

Great lines, including a girl picking up her boyfriend's head and asking if he's OK are priceless. I take my hat off to the scriptwriter for having the front to write this stuff down.

Anyway people, it's one you have to take as you find and enjoy for the rubbish that it is. It is bad horror at it's finest.
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big breasts small plot loud tunes
MartynGryphon23 June 2004
I believe that it was the directors intent to revive the flagging musical genre, and combine it with a cheesy horror plot line. My Brother and I first saw this movie back in the mid 80's , and it was the title that first grabbed my attention as a denim wearing metal head. I watched the movie then and thought it was crap, though the bass line that bought things back to life was brilliant. This movie then fell into obscurity and I have not given it a thought for the near on 20 years since. The other night I saw that Hard Rock Zombies was on the Horror Channel, and the vague memory of a mulleted bass player killing a spider and then bringing it back to life again struck in my mind. I decided to watch it again hoping that the passage of the years would make me understand what was once a nonsensical plot a bit more and hopefully make this painfully bad movie better. So on a nostalgia trip, I decided to record this drivel of a movie, after necking a few cans of strong lager to muster the dutch courage required to face this 80's timewarp, I sat down to watch, and guess what?.......It's still a crap movie, the plot is no easier to understand, the old man that looks like Scottie from Star Trek that half way through turns into Hitler is just absurd, the mulleted bass player looks a little dated now, but that riff is still brilliant. Give this movie a wide arc. If I were to recommend this movie to anyone, deaf and blind people would be at the top of my list as well as people suffering from chronic insomnia. easy contender for the biggest waste of everyone's time and labour EVER. best part(s) the blonde hitchhiker girl in the shower......worth watching for that alone.
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This movie makes bad look bad
2kilo718 March 2007
I just recently upgraded my cable and I now a channel that shows the worst of the worst movies I have personally have ever seen! But I love it! I will not mention the channels name but it shows some real beauties! Anyhow I had the bittersweet pleasure of surveying this turd called Hard rock zombies. It is is usually hard to say that a movie is the "worst movie ever" but not with this movie. I think it was actually worse than Dracula 3000 at least there was some actors I recognized in Dracula 3000. I guess not knowing any of the actors in Hard rock zombies is a good thing, It saves me from seeing them in another movie with friends and having to explain to them where I saw that actor before forcing me to talk about this movie again. If you have not seen this movie try to find something more productive to do with about an hour and a half. Anything at all!
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3/10
Predictable let-down
silversprdave28 April 2002
Its hard to believe that anyone could actually like this nonsense movie. The music is just run-of-the-mill rock, the acting is bad, the humor is mostly lame. About the only good things that I can say for this production are that the pace is reasonable, and there is enough gore to keep a splatter movie fan happy. That's about it. I rated it a "3 of 10".
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10/10
Changes the face of history, and the zombie film.
jtweston14 April 1999
Krishna Shah's masterpiece is a beautifully put together movie about a band who comes into town to play a show, but all of the old townspeople don't care for their music. Great songs, great special effects, a perfect movie. It was the first(that I know of) of the "Butt Rock Music/Zombie/Horror" genre. Some of the others: Rocktober Blood, Trick or Treat, etc. If you liked Hard Rock Zombies, you should like those. After HRZ, Krishna went on to make "American Drive-In" a hilarious comedy about an old drive-in. The movie being played at the drive-in is none other than "Hard Rock Zombies." And the midget/zombie in HRZ plays himself in this movie, and critiques his acting. But back to HRZ : SEE IT !!!!
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8/10
Not *entirely* bad, despite previous summaries
Peet McKimmie6 April 2003
I saw this movie over a decade ago, but it sticks in my mind. After reading a fairly harsh summary on here I felt the need to set the record straight...

It's a bad movie. That's a given. But, it has a number of memorable set-pieces which, while others may characterise them as "forced", still raise a smile for me a decade later when I think of them, and you can't ask for much more than that from a movie of this genre.

An example, at the cost of revealing a trivial plot point, is the wheelchair bound mother of the hillbilly family. When the full moon comes around, she transforms into a werewolf... Predictable. But the twist is that she's still in the wheelchair! I still smirk at the thought of a teenager running screaming through the woods being chased by a wolf on wheels... :D

Don't watch this movie unless you have a high tolerance for clichés and are moderately drunk at the time of screening. If you fulfil these conditions, however, it's highly recommended!
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1/10
A painfully crummy and unfunny 80's heavy metal horror comedy dud
Woodyanders10 August 2007
Warning: Spoilers
A simply hideous and allegedly cutesy'n'campy tongue-in-cheek horror spoof with a numbingly cheesy heavy metal rock music gimmick. A pathetic hair band called Holy Moses agrees to perform a gig in a nowheresville Northern California hamlet. Unbeknownst to the band, there's a strange family of murderous freaks in the immediate area led by a still alive Adolph Hitler (depicted here as a fat, lecherous old goat who makes love to Eva Braun while his deformed dwarf grand children watch). The band gets killed by the freaks, but come back as vengeful zombies. The band proceeds to butcher the family, only to have them return from the dead as zombies as well. The freaky family naturally attack the surrounding uptight square townspeople. Next thing you know zombies are everywhere. They engage in all kinds of broad, ridiculous, groan-inducing stupidity: a midget zombie tries to eat a cow, a little old lady zombie who also transforms into a werewolf (!?) hobbles about in her wheelchair, another midget zombie hitchhikes on the side of the road, the band performs a snazzy goth-rock number for a talent agent, and the jerky townies decide to sacrifice a local virgin to the teeming zombie horde.

Sound good? Well, it sure ain't man. For starters, the tiresomely arch and pseudo-hip comic tone affects a gratingly smug and off-putting forced sense of wannabe funky-cool posturing. The gormless, sophomoric humor resorts to demeaning racial stereotypes and dopey pun-ridden dialogue ("She's a fine mama") in its pitiful attempts at eliciting cheap laughs from the audience. Krishna Shah's limp (mis)direction, working from a terribly asinine script written by Shah and David Ball, fails to inject any wit, style or vigor into the idiotic goings-on. Tom Richmond's flat cinematography falls back on dreadfully dated mid-80's MTV rock video visual clichés: madly darting to and fro pans, tilted camera angles, gauzy backlighting, and the ubiquitous curling swirl of hazy smoke billowing in the background. The hopelessly lame head-bangin' music is sheer torture on the ears. The colorless acting, an excruciatingly lethargic pace, John Carl Buechler's crummy make-up f/x, the mild gore, the uniformly obnoxious and unlikable characters, and a general air of total creative impoverishment further sink this clunker like an 80-pound boulder. The absolute dregs.
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1/10
This Movie's A Stinker!
Joe 2517 September 2000
Warning: Spoilers
(Contains super minor spoilers, but this movie stinks anyway)

Anyhow, the cover art looks good on the video box, but a warning bell should've gone off inside my head telling me to stay away, but oh well. I sat down to watch this movie with some popcorn and soda. When the lead singer opened his mouth and started singing, I spit out the popcorn and soda in my mouth then choked on what was left. The acting is horribly atrocious, the plot is goofy, and lots of things make no sense. Walking hands, Hitler, and other assorted weird things all add up to one miserable film experience. This film must have led to the downfall of Cannon Pictures for sure. This movie can make a bad night even worse and isn't even fit for animals. My advice: Stay as far away from this movie as possible!
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7/10
So far out there, it's in another galaxy!
udar5524 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The band Holy Moses (!) heads to the town of Grand Guignol, California to perform some shows where a big Hollywood agent will be. Along the way they pick up a hot hitchhiker and she lets them stay at a big mansion that houses her oddball family led by an old German patriarch. The townies don't take kindly to that goddamn rock 'n roll and soon outlaw the playing of any such music. That is the least of Holy Moses problems though because soon all the members are dead at the hands of the deranged family. No worries though as lead singer Jesse had previously written a song that just happens to bring the dead back to life (and give them KISS-style make up after returning from the dead). Soon the band is back to rocking and getting their revenge. The problem? They people they kill come back from the dead too.

I continue to rock until I drop with the heavy metal horror sub-genre. It is certainly full of oddities but this might be the oddest of them all (which says a lot). The IMDb says this film was originally supposed to be only 20 minutes long and appear on screen in director Krishna Shah's other film American DRIVE-IN. Then they expanded it. That makes sense and explains the sharp turn from semi-serious to comedy halfway through the film. This has one of the biggest WTF? moments I've seen lately drop about 40 minutes in. After all of the band is killed (before they become the title characters), the old German man hosts their manager to a dinner. Midway through the meal, a buzzer goes off and he says, "Ach, it hazzz been forty years." He stands up and rips off his face and he is Adolf Hitler. Then he proceeds to get on TV and declare the Fourth Reich is coming. I'm like, "WHAT?" The movie then becomes a comedy. And what is funnier than Hitler and Nazis? Seriously, it is one of those moments where you describe it to someone and they say, "You're making that up."
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10/10
The Greatest Hard Rock Zombies/Hitler MOvie of All Time
vaultonburg6 October 2009
If Orson Welles only had the talent he would have made Hard Rock Zombies, but he didn't. So these guys did. "Ghouls hate heads..." The plot of this movie is incomprehensible. The execution of the script is amateurish. It's quite possibly the stupidest movie of all time. And if you haven't seen it you're not alive. Get yourself some Milk Duds, some Schlitz, and HRZ, Troll 2, The Pit and have a grooviest bad movies of all time-athon. Umm, the music sounds OK, too, when you're really drunk. It's really kind of hard to say ten lines about Hard Rock Zombies. I just wanted to say it rocked I didn't want to be here all night trying to think of things to say about it.
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4/10
The 80s sure was a strange decade.
BA_Harrison7 May 2009
Travelling to the redneck town of Grand Guignol, where they hope to impress a music mogul with their next show, a heavy rock band pick up a beautiful hitch-hiker who invites them to stay at her home, which she shares with her bizarre family. Once in town, the band runs into trouble with the authorities, and lead singer Jessie falls in love with local girl Cassie, but the band's outrageous rock 'n' roll antics and Jessie's blossoming romance are short lived: the musicians are murdered one-by-one by their strange hosts, who turn out to be a bunch of bloodthirsty ghouls led by none other than Adolf Hitler!

Following the band's funeral, a distraught Cassie plays Jessie's last recording—music inspired by an ancient magical book that has the power to raise the dead—which results in the pasty faced foursome clawing their way from their graves to seek revenge, and to play one last gig.

When I first saw Hard Rock Zombies, on its original video release over 20 years ago, I thought it was absolutely awful; these days, I find the film slightly more bearable thanks to its nostalgia factor (gotta love all that big hair rock!) and my unhealthy love of cheesy 80s crap. However, I still struggle to understand what the hell its makers were thinking of: were they intentionally aiming for cult status with this insane mix of rock and horror, or is the film a genuinely inept, asinine piece of trash made by a bunch of totally talentless fools? The jury is still out on that one...

The film starts off promisingly, quickly scoring points for gratuitous use of both nudity and dwarfs, but rapidly becomes a jaw-droppingly bad mish-mash of musical interludes and inept gore (courtesy of FX man John Carl Buechler), interspersed with moments of complete inanity: the dwarfs watch on as an old man (later to be revealed as Hitler) shtups his wife; the old lady turns into a werewolf; the hitch-hiker dances to herself for no reason in the desert; one dwarf eats himself; the band survive an electrocution while practising; and one guy momentarily avoids being eaten by pretending to be a zombie (beating Shaun Of The Dead to the joke by a couple of decades).

It's all utter garbage, of course, but somehow strangely compelling.
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"This sounds like a cheap movie."
Backlash00711 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
~Spoiler~

In my recent review for Black Roses I said that film should be viewed as part of a double bill with Rock 'n Roll Nightmare. Well, let's go ahead and make it a triple feature...with Hard Rock Zombies. Hard Rock Zombies is so ridiculous it BEGS to be seen. As does the mane on the lead singer in the flick. That mullet is ultimate 80's. HRZ's has no plot, just one bad music video after another. It's sex, zombies, Nazis, werewolf grannies, and rock 'n roll. Oddly enough no drugs though. Well, not in the film anyhow. Behind the scenes...I'm pretty sure. If you enjoy so-bad-it's-good, check this one out.
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*1/2 out of 4
Bleeding-Skull21 November 2007
Warning: Spoilers
(This review applies to the Vestron Video)

A hard rock band travels to the tiny and remote town of Grand Guignol to perform. Peopled by hicks, rubes, werewolves, murderous dwarfs, sex perverts, and Hitler, the town is a strange place but that doesn't stop the band's lead singer from falling in love with a local girl named Cassie. After Nazi s*x p*****ts kill the band to satisfy their lusts, Cassie calls the rockers back from the grave to save her, the town, and maybe the world.

The acting is absolutely terrible, the plot is non-existent, and even the makeup is cheap. With absolutely no zombies, this may disappoint a few zombie fans. Even the shock scenes can't save this one. The horrible ending doesn't help either.

Unrated for Extreme Violence.
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10/10
Enjoyable garbage
terminatortron30 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I get more enjoyment out of watching bad movies then good movies, and this film is my favorite of all. I read another review which said the best part was the naked hitchhiker in the shower...wrong! Her best scene came when she was, well, naked, but when she drowned guys in water, which made them bleed...that's gold! There are tons of scenes like that. Whether it be a James Doohan look alike turning into Hitler, or his wife, who I presume to be Eva Braun being a Werewolf this movie has it all! Add in 4 guys who look like a mustached Jerry Flynn pretending to be a robot who is pretending to have rigor mortis and you get a classic piece of American cinema!
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5/10
Not A Bad Movie!
stickdoc20059 January 2007
This movie is kinda silly, however the soundtrack is really cool especially the song ''Cassie''. I thought it was kinda romantic 4 a 20yr old musician to fall in love with a 13yr old. Call me a pervert call me anything u like! That's true love. U don't have to be the same age to fall in love. It just happens. I also liked Jessie. He showed a kindred spirit that's not seen in any of the bands today. Jessie is probably someone very special that we all wish we could be. I used to be a musician & I know how hard it is to control your emotions on stage. Jessie did it very good. I bet no other musicians could do that. I recommend that u watch this movie & draw your own conclusions. Picture yourself as Jessie & wonder what u would do if u were him!!!
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1/10
Amazing
mharanas1 June 2006
If you want to see the worst of the worst this is your movie. It contains the most horrific, pathetic, story line of all time. The main plot is basically a so called "rock star" in his late 20's who falls in love with this 13 year old...very weird. The songs are actually kind of fun in the movie. I guess the guy who wrote the music for this movie help the band "Journey" create music. The best part in the movie is when they come to the town and they show that montage of how their making the town exciting. I just wish that I could see some of these actors today. I just would like to go up to one of the main characters and be like, "Hey...so um, how do you feel about your life after you made Hard Rock Zombies?".
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2/10
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
fibreoptic3 June 2004
What the heck was this supposed to be? A combination of cheesy 80's glam rock music videos and horror? This movie has bad acting, bad effects and a storyline that isn't very well strung together or explained. I caught this on The Horror Channel the other night and i wish that i hadn't wasted around 90 minutes of my life. Why the f*** does the movie keep flashing back to when they are in the van at the beginning at the most irrelevant times? Adolf Hitler? Please!!! This movie could be pretty good if it had a slightly better budget and was pushed in the right direction i.e. by professionals. Also, zombies don't frickin walk like robots! If you are in aid of a zombie comedy that is properly made then watch The Return Of The Living Dead which was made around the same time as this and actually does it right then once you have got done with that watch the king of zombie spoofs which is The Return Of The Living Dead Part 2. I don't mind stupid films but half of this is a bloody music video that cuts between scenes for far too long. Stay away unless you like Bon Jovi (urghhh), then you will feel right at home. 2/10
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3/10
"This whole day has been like a cheap movie"
mylimbo24 April 2011
As I sat down to watch "Hardrock Zombies", I didn't know what to expect. By its title I was assuming it was a Troma production… and it's not, but it wouldn't be out of place either. Really I don't know what I just watched. Crazy, stupid. Indeed. Amusing at times, but boy what the hell was going on? This cruddy low-cost, shot-on-video production is one noisy, twisted ("You can watch, but don't touch.") and strange horror / comedy that throws caution to wind, as if it was made on the spot adding details as they went along. Everything is chucked in from rock music, T&A, a nutty backwoods family (consisting of a werewolf, midgets, and psychotic nymph), unwelcoming hillbillies, zombies, Nazis and Adolf Hitler(!). It's terrible, but it has that feeling like it was aiming for that. By the end of it, what it feels like is one very long, spontaneously tripped-out music video clip with wild camera-work. Break out the jamming (you know rock ballads) and the pointless posing --- with many disjointed images edited in (a lady dancing around), but don't forget the story involving an up and coming rock band stopping by in a backwoods town to play and staying at the home of the beautifully strange girl they picked up. So you might be asking how do zombies come to be, well wait around for the halfway mark. This when the zombies show up (it's not quite as random as many of the ideas popping up) and from then it gets even sillier ("ghouls don't like heads"). You don't know how, but it just does. The production has tacky make-up on show, wooden performances, is shoddily written and is completely direction-less with its meandering pace.

"Hardrock Zombies" is inane rubbish, which you might find yourself digging through.
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