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20-somethings and the Goonies
susannahvwhite20 September 2004
Just prior to graduating with a degree in Film Studies a lecturer asked us, "So what's your favourite film now?" Whilst my peers spouted out Goddard films and obscure German expressionist shorts I sat quietly thinking; my favourite film has been My Favourite Film since I was seven... So when it came to me and I mumbled "The Goonies", I was expecting scorn, ridicule and possibly minor injury, but instead was met with concurring shouts and whoops and cries of "Hey you gu-uys!" from the rest of the class. You see this is the unifying thing about The Goonies; mention it in a room full of twenty-somethings and they'll whell up and utter "Sloth loves Chunk" or adopt a harassed Chinese tone "Thats what I said...Booty traps!". And if that room happens to be a pub, several chairs will scrape back and semi-inebriated grown men will lift their shirts, shake their bellies and revel in the truffle shuffle. People may say it's an Indiana Jones wanna-be I think that is the defining beauty of it all. When we first watched The Goonies it was like watching our dreams come true on screen! We'd loved seeing Indiana's adventures and escapades and in The Goonies we saw kids like us actually doing it! They got to be just like the mini-Indies we imagined ourselves to be in the playground. But its not just the adventure that makes us love the film, we love those Goonies themselves. They were like our friends. We got annoyed with them sometimes, and we wanted to protect them, and we laughed at their jokes and cheered when they had a brilliant plan. Identifying with those kids was what we loved and why, as adults, we quote them and 'become' them when talking about the film. I still want to be like Andy, having a perilous adventure sliding down tunnels and facing the bad guys on a huge pirate ship... but of course also making time to kiss Brand AND Mikey! I also think that this is why Goonies 2 is such a relevant and exciting concept. We've all grown up together and I'd love to see how the guys are doing now...I just hope it doesn't disappoint... So if you've not seen it do it right now, and if you have kids sit them down, hold their hand through the scary bits and enjoy! They'll thank you in twenty years time!
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Goonies r good enough
nickthegun23 October 2002
Anyone who grew up in the 80's will list the Goonies as one of their favourite films, or at least look back at it with a misty eye.

It had everthing you could want, thrills, spills, pirates, booty, adventure, freaks and bad guys. I just wanted to be a Goonie or go on a Goonie style adventure. Even the place where they lived was cool. A big old house in a picturesque bay town. You don't get houses like that in England. The only interesting thing you would have found in my loft would have been a dead pidgeon.

Then there were the Goonies themselves who just seemed so cool. Data's gadgets and smart mouthed ..erm.. Mouth.

We are first introduced to them one by one in the fantastic introductory sequence. The bad guys of the piece, the Fratellis, organise a jailbreak in a huge 4x4. In the process of doing so they speed past every member of the Goonies, introducing their character traits. Then they all get together at the leader Mikies house and just doss around for a while feeling sorry for themselves, because a property magnate wants to but there little town and turn it into a country club (although the bay looks like it would make a poor golf course, but hey). So this is the Goonies last day together and they have to do something about it. And don't they just.

What follows is like a comedy Hardy Boys crossed with a game of Mousetrap. Some of the set pieces are genius (the pirate, One eyed Willie, had a penchant for elaborate traps to stop people pinching his booty) and the sets are equally inventive. The gang get themselves into various scrapes with the traps, or the Fratellis or both and somehow always come out on top.

Richard Donner's direction is always brisk, the young actors performances are superb (specially the fantastic 'Chunk'), the senior cast is very good and the dialogue is chock full of hilarious lines.

I must admit I look back at it through rose tinted glasses. I was in awe of it when I was a kid, and now when I watch it, it reminds me of my childhood and all the things that was great about it. I cant fault the Goonies, even now. I still believe it is the perfect kids film.

I am probably preaching to the converted, but if you havent seen the Goonies, go and buy it now! And if you don't like it, what the hell is wrong with you!?!?!?
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The Goonies ARE good enough
mentalcritic29 June 2005
It was in 2001 or thereabouts that I watched and listened to the audio commentary track that is on the DVD version of The Goonies. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing, and seeing how the principal cast had aged (or hardly aged in Josh Brolin's case) was worth the price of admission on its own. But this is just one of The Goonies' selling points. Despite what the IMDb's ratings would have you believe, it is an immortal classic that warrants repeated and frequent viewings. It is not a coincidence that many of its cast and crew have repeatedly appeared in all sorts of productions before and since. Indeed, this was probably the first film that introduced me to the reality that the same actor will often play ten different parts in ten different films when I realised that Jonathan Ke Quan was the same brat that made parts of Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom so amusing. Seeing him in the video-enhanced commentary of the DVD nearly two decades later was a surprise and a half.

The film revolves around a group of children and adolescents who live in the poorer, less trendy part of a beachfront town. Unlike an episode of Barney, every member of this principal group is given a background and a string of differences from their castmates. You will not see the teenaged Brand responding to the same situation in the same manner as the ten year old Mikey, and that is where a major part of the film's strength is derived. The only weakness in the characterisations is with Martha Plimpton and Kerri Green, who join the adventuring boys a little way into the film. Exactly what they are doing other than giving the character of Brand something similar to himself to bounce his more adult-oriented lines from is anyone's guess, but they do work in their limited capacity. It is just a pity that Chris Columbus' screenplay did not give them a little more to do, other than defuse one fiendish trap towards the end of the ride.

Speaking of fiendish traps, the adventurers journey from one puzzling location to the next with barely a stop for breath. It works because unlike similar adventure films where the director expects us to be impressed by a fiendish-sounding name, the specific places that are visited by the Goonies have function. The bone piano shown in one such sequence, for example, would appear in the nightmares of children learning a regular piano for years after the film's theatrical release. It also gives Corey Feldman a good chance to act out a character who speaks very fluent Spanish. And while I am on that subject, who could forget the immortal scene early on in the film where Mouth deliberately loses something in the translation when Rosalita is shown around? But the prize for scene-stealing goes to John Matuszak, who plays the unofficial eighth Goonie, Sloth, with a weird aplomb that may well scare the willies out of parts of the intended audience. But then, in 1985, scaring the intended audience a little was considered a healthy part of making a film for those in the age ranges depicted here.

They say you cannot have a good protagonist without a good antagonist to bounce off. Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey provide antagonists so good that they utterly hose the rule about not working with animals or children. The Fratellis work so well here because they are working with children. The late Anne Ramsey played her part so well that the mere thought of watching her in anything scared the willies out of me for years. Nowadays, as I have fully realised the mechanics behind film for some years, I am keen as mustard to see some of her other work in such pieces as Throw Momma From The Train (now there's a title that brings images to mind) or Meet the Hollowheads. That a performance can produce two entirely different reactions in the same person at different stages of their life should tell you all you need to know about its quality. Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano are somewhat overshadowed here, but the manic, cackling quality of their introductory act also left quite a lasting impression.

You might have noticed that I have so far only mentioned the special effects in passing while heaping praise upon the acting. This is because unlike films such as the recent Star Wars prequels, the effects complement the acting rather than overshadow it. From what I am able to tell, all of the effects in The Goonies are practical, and some of them quite inventive. There is no use of blood squibs, which may disappoint some viewers, but there are enough mechanical sets and air vents to fill three films. Some of these effects did not turn out so well and were cut from the final film (the squid sequence being the most famous example), but unlike a lot of films that depend on special effects for a crucial element, everything shown in the final cut is in perfect sync here. Suspension of disbelief is never an issue, which is just as well considering some of the preposterous things that roll by the screen with a certain nonchalance.

I gave The Goonies a ten out of ten. Like Superman or the original Lethal Weapon, it shows that Richard Donner knows how to make a classic. Now that it is twenty years old, it stands forever as a relic of a time when the world of those under the age of eighteen was far less oppressive. If you have not introduced your children around the age of ten or greater to its joys and moments, then shame on you.
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80s adventure flick revives childhood memories!
emm23 January 1999
The first time I saw THE GOONIES was at a friend's house right when it was a "new release" on video. After the best times I had in my life watching it, the friend established a "Goonie" club for the fun of it. Perhaps your past childhood memories would have been the same, too! While the movie is a tad heavy on the stupid foul jokes, it does have the imagination of willing to trek around for some perilous adventures, plus a few spooks. There possibly was never a movie like this providing tons of fun and laughter during the time. The characters and their personalities were most original, including "Data" and his supply of gadgets, and "Chunk" with his obese but likeable image (love that "Truffle Shuffle"!). But "Sloth" easily stole the show with his own likeable personality, a goon with the weirdest face I've ever seen in my life! Just think of how fun it is to discover lost treasure, when you know it's only fantasy. Four key things come to mind with THE GOONIES: pirate ships, teenagers, the Frattellis, and Cyndi Lauper. They're actually "good enough" and they go together in this memorable journey! Kudos to Richard Donner for bringing me a movie that I've seen over 100 times and never stop enjoying! After all these years, I'm STILL waiting for a sequel!

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Steven Spielberg exercises the farthest reached of his imagination in this unforgettable tale of childhood adventures.
Michael DeZubiria3 September 2000
Every kid has imagined what it would be like to go on great and glorious adventures. Pirate ships, police chases, treasure chests full of gold and surrounded by human skeletons with patches over the eyes, the inherent excitement in the possibility of a cavernous wonder world beneath the very streets where they live. The Goonies is about a group of kids who have grown up together and are about to be torn apart because their parents are being forced to sell their homes. In the attic of one of their houses (Mikey, played by Sean Astin), they find an endless supply of fascinating things - treasure maps, paintings, cryptic writings in strange languages. They find a map that sounds promising, and decide to see if it has any value, hoping to be able to find enough treasure to prevent their parents from losing their homes.

Not only was The Goonies a brilliantly written, directed, and acted movie, but it was also so much FUN! The adventures of these kids through the underground world, while being chased by the despicable villains known as the Fratellis, are fascinating to watch. The Goonies is a great cinematic experience. It has everything that anyone who was ever a kid could ever want. Even the elaborate sets are very convincing.

The sense of adventure and hope that are presented in The Goonies is very uplifting and inspiring. The lovable characters are perfectly developed and endlessly entertaining. Many of them, particularly Sean Astin and Corey Feldman, delivered the best performances of their future careers right here in this early adventure film. This movie can be enjoyed by virtually anyone, which is one of its best values. It is truly timeless, and it should not be missed.
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Fun fun fun, but first you have to do the truffle shuffle!
ivony19 May 2003
Treasure hunts. Who doesn't remember digging under the porch, in creekbeds, hollowed out logs, etc to find the buried treasure you just KNOW is hidden there somewhere? The Goonies is a fun-filled ride right back into our youth where treasure hunts are no longer a thing of the past.

I absolutely loved this movie. It was just so much fun to watch when I was a kid and just as much fun when I watched it again as an adult with my own kids. Of course the movie has moments of predictability, and no, the villains aren't all that intimidating...they're actually quite moronic. But that only adds to the charm of this movie as well as its comedic value. Although there are lessons peppered in (don't judge by appearances, right vs. wrong, etc), overall, The Goonies is a wonderful exploration of childhood friendships and imaginations...from Data and his many scientific creations to One Eyed Willy and his pirate ship.

There isn't a character in this movie I didn't fully enjoy have the dim-witted, evil Fratelli's, heavy-set, melodramatic Chunk, Data with his "booty traps...that's what I said, booby traps" galore, the odd-looking but loveable Sloth, and Mouth with his, well, Mouth. Those are only a few...there are many more. A lot of great lines come from this movie along with memorable moments (the Truffle Shuffle). I've seen The Goonies about a hundred times and I STILL enjoy watching it over and over again.

This is absolutely a pure, fun-filled movie to enjoy with your kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, or simply by yourself. Hang on and enjoy the ride! The Goonies earns a solid 5 out of 5 stars!
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Classic 80s flick
ClarusTheDogCow19 May 2003
I love The Goonies. It is a classic 80s children-adventure film. They don't make movies like this anymore... of if they do, its children hurting other children (Cruel Intentions... etc). I do miss that from the 80's... during that time you can have an adventure film that relies on humor and "monsters" without an overt display of violence and sex like in todays "PG13" movies. Anyway.. I rant...

I love all the characters from The Goonies. Chunk is my fav (truffle shuffle, hostage crisis, Dead things Mikey! Dead Things!, and when he starts spatting off Hebrew when he is captured by the Frattellis). Its amazing to see the changes in Josh Brolin (Brandon) from back then to his performances today.

I have this movie although it must be a edited version because I heard there was an octopus scene in the uncut version.. Haven't seen it yet.

I heard they were going to make a sequel.. My question.. Why!?! Don't ruin a good thing. Leave it alone and walk away. Resist all urges for a money-grubbing "typical hollywood second release" scenario.

I love the music from The Goonies as I am a huge 80's music fan.

Lastly, the scene is beautiful. I live in Portland, Oregon and have traveled to Astoria several times.. It is a pitty to know that the last time I was in Astoria, the house featured in the movie was run-down and looked to be vacant.

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It must be a nostalgia thing…
BA_Harrison11 May 2014
I have friends who grew up in the 80s who swear that The Goonies is one of the greatest adventure films ever made. Being in my late teens at the time, I was a little too old to be interested when it first came out, and having finally caught up with the film nearly thirty years later, I can definitely say that I'm waaaay too old for it now. Although I'm usually a sucker for films involving the search for long lost treasure, this noisy, chaotic, poorly acted, desperately unfunny, unexciting waste of a big budget had me wishing I'd never bothered to see what the fuss was all about.

When the most comprehensible lines of dialogue in the whole film come from a mentally disabled, drooling freak called Sloth and a character played by Anne Ramsey, then I know I'm in for a rough time. Quite why Spielberg and Donner opted for such an obnoxious collection of unruly brats for this film I'll never understand, the kids' incessant unintelligible screaming seriously grating on the nerves. Until now, I've always had time for Corey Feldman and Sean Astin, but here they are mostly unbearable; even worse are Ke Huy Quan as amateur inventor Data and loud-mouthed tub of lard Chunk, played by Jeff Cohen, both of whom deliver utterly charmless performances.

If, like me, you've successfully avoided seeing this film for several decades, I suggest that you keep on doing so and save yourself the disappointment.
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It's definitely not "good enough"
erosenbluh7 February 2005
I remember as a kid wanting The Goonies to be great, but when I saw it something felt wrong about it. I thought it was okay, but knew it was lacking. I recently saw it again (20 years later), and I know what the problems are. Bad writing, bad acting and bad directing. Everyone yells practically nonstop in the film. You don't believe for a second that any one of these kids is a real person. There's one hint of a decent performance when Sean Astin is recounting the story of One Eyed Willy to his friends in an out of breath monologue. I won't blame the kids, but Spielberg and Donner. Chris Columbus' script felt slapped together in a weekend (probably was under the orders of Spielberg). I have friends who love it, and have fond memories of it as kids, but I guess I've always been overly critical. It's just that I wanted more as a kid. I wanted the same feeling I had when watching Raiders for the first time, or Back To The Future. Those films had something that The Goonies lacked. I'm in the minority, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.
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Back to our childhood...
Bruno-5430 May 1999
There was a time when boys would spend a whole day watching their favorite heroes, dreaming of riding a crusade against Darth Vader's Empire or fighting the enemies among the Knights of the Round Table. Just like in the Fantasy Island, where Mr. Roarke and Tatoo would make all one's wishes come true, The Goonies has the special talent to bring our childhood fantasies back and remind us how great those years were.

In this 1985 movie, a bunch of kids find a map which indicates the spot where the evil pirate One-Eyed-Willie buried a big treasure stolen from English ships in the 1500's. As we can predict, they decide to seek for the gold and precious stones to help their parents who are about to be expelled from their homes because they can't make ends meet and also because some wealthy men want to put their houses down to build a country club on it's place. Dangers, traps and even a family of thieves - the Fratelli - are after them.

As the film goes on, we can see how closer the friends get and how supportive we all should be. They would always be there for each other, no matter how deep their problems are. Even a rich girl, Andy, is accepted by the group, in a very politically correct act, where no distinctions are made. The scene in which the guys are stuck in a hole, is very touching and really digs our sense of aid.

Richard Donner directed this movie and another famous director, Chris Columbus wrote the screenplay, based on a Steven Spielberg's story. Matt Sweeney was responsable for the special effects and the main theme ( They 'r good enough ) was written and performed by Cindy Lauper.

After the film, none of the kids became famous actors. Corey Feldman and Kerry Green took part in some teenage comedies, while Sean Astin showed up in "Memphis Belle" and Ke Huy Quan was the young Indiana Jone's chinese taxi driver in "The Temple of the Doom". The only one who joined some serious projects was Martha Plimpton.

But these are just technical details. What really counts in "The Goonies" are the two hours of humanity, pleasure, inocence, friendship - and even the first love - that only children can show in their eyes. In fact, it's a small journey to our past, to a time when your deepest worries were about the girl (or the boy) on the next chair.
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If you are an adult and haven't seen it already, then don't.
milo-5013 August 2013
I was 18 when this was released. Just a little bit too old for it. Over the decades I've heard people just a few years my junior rave about this as if it were an Indiana Jones or a gremlins or the like. So finally at the ripe old age of 46 I've had a look. I cannot believe the hype for this. The director's overriding instruction to the actors, seems to have been, shout and scream and say your dialogue whilst everyone else is saying theirs. That will keep the audience thrilled and excited. It gave this member of the audience a headache. The storyline is weak, the characters 2 dimensional and the script is dire. I kept thinking these kids must be off their Ritalin. It was like an onslaught of annoyance. I get that people are nostalgic for movies they saw when they were kids. I still think jaws is one of the greatest films ever made, whereas people younger than me can't abide the plastic shark. But really, I'm amazed that so many people still seem to rate this. I challenge anyone over 40 (in 2013), who hasn't already seen this movie as a kid, to like it!
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"MY CHILDHOOD DREAM (To be one of them,The GOONIES)"
hangertskaau1 October 2004
Well,well,well.......this film has became one of my all-time favorite movie!The first time i watched the movie i just couldn't help myself wishing I was there with them.The movie is so full of adventure!But what really bothered me was the exact date it was filmed!Oh my gosh it was dated back in 1985!I was not even born by that time.....But hey they did a pretty good job!I wish i could owned this in DVD so i can watched anytime & show this to my children.But it was so hard to find. So i guess i just had to stick to our cable.

It was amazing to see Sean Astin(Mikey)so young and active.You could certainly see the difference he is now in Lord of the Rings trilogy. The story isn't like was so unique!The place and view are awesome and was actually filmed in the City of Astoria.

My favorite character is Mikey and Josh.They are two brothers who wants to help their parents.So Mikey,being the youngest wants to find that treasure to save them from Troy's dad.My favorite lines were.... "When you look in the sky,it will be another town,when you see your friends,it will be in another school".

It's kinda touchy and sentiment....but good!I remember the new album of Ataris(So long Astoria)where it became one of their song.I was reading the lyrics and there was a similarity in the movie.The last part goes like this,

"So long Astoria,i found a map to buried treasure and even if we come home empty-handed we still have our stories of pirate ships & wounded hearts,broken bones and the best of friendships.& when this hourglass out its final grain of sand.I raised my glass to the memories we had.This is my wish,i'm taking them back,I'm taking them all back."

I remember mouth said the last lines when they were trapped inside the cave.I guess the band members of Ataris saw the movie in their childhood years and like them,we were spell-binded by its great story.

So long The Goonies,you will be remembered as one of the most amazing movies we had.Just like the movie,"The relics of remembrance are just like shipwrecks only they're gone faster than the smell of the rain."

But for now,you became a resurrected memories from ashes in our childhood dreams.......
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Probably the coolest adventure movie of all time!
Kristine13 June 2002
The Goonies is eternally a terrific movie that anyone could easily fall in love with. I was a little surprised honestly that this movie isn't on the top 250, because it seems like everyone agrees with me that this is just a plain excellent movie. After all, it is directed by Steven Spielberg, when has he ever misled us? I think this movie is sort of like a time capsule, because you can tell that it was made in the 80's, but it'll forever remain a treasure that will pass on from generation to the next.

It's about these pre-teen boys who are about to loose their houses to the local rich guys who will turn their houses into a golf course if their parents don't come up with the money that's wanted. When Mikey, the leader of the Goonies, gets his hands on his father's treasure map that belongs to his museum, he shows his friends, including his older brother, Brandon, that maybe this could be their last adventure to find the treasure and pay off the rich guys! Brandon, his girlfriend, Andy, her friend, Steph, Mouth, Data, Chunk, and Mikey come together to find the treasure. But it's gonna be hard when on the run Fratelli's want the treasure as well and will try to get there first!

The Goonies are just so lovable and I would always recommend this not only for the family, but for yourself as well. Because it has great lines, exciting scenes, and just a fantastic story. Not to mention all the future stars who are in this film like Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, and Robert Davi. There are a few slight goofs that you notice off the bat, but you get past them because it's just such a charming movie.

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sweetartcat18 October 2009
Where's my aspirin? After watching this I have a headache.

I must be one of the only people in the world who dislike this movie. Granted, I did not see it as a kid. As an adult, I found it obnoxious beyond belief mostly because of all the constant chatter and screaming. "Ahhhhhh" throughout the movie made me spend a lot of time fast forwarding. The stereotyping was beyond annoying; this is the kind of movie that gives kids permission to think its OK to be annoying and behave like dodos. Yes, I know it was a spoof, but it was still too moronic and sophomoric for my tastes.

The script jumped around and didn't make sense in many places. And tell me why anyone would believe they were building a golf course in the hills of Astoria Oregon. The main house sits on a hill unsuitable for a golf course. We must have had a lot more tolerance for bad scripts in the 80's. I've seen a variety of 80's movies which had awful scripts and were nominated for Oscars.

The Spiderwick Chronicals are 100% better. In fact, I can't think of a worse kid's movie than this one.
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Certainly NOT the greatest movie ever made...
C.J.-715 November 2000
Call me a cynic. Not only do I not like this film, but I am amazed at how many people here seem to love it so deeply. I did not see this movie as a child, so I don't have the same exaggerated emotional attachment to it as some. Still, I found it silly, overdone and incredibly annoying. Every one of the forced-cutesy kids in the movie (thanks, Mr. Spielberg!) needs a good throttling. The fat kid is the constant butt of cliched, mean-spirited joking. I have no idea what the Asian kid is saying anywhere in the film. Corey Feldman is obnoxious and, oh.. just happens to be able to translate Spanish and treasure maps and anything else when need be. Uh huh.

The plot is absurd: are we really supposed to believe the kids could so easily track down a 400-year-old treasure that everyone else has overlooked? Would a group of professional counterfeiters run off and leave evidence of their crime in plain sight, knowing that a group of kids is nosing around? I don't think so.

This lame movie is par for the course for Chris Columbus (Mrs. Doubtfire, Bicentennial Man) and one of Spielberg's weaker efforts (right up there with Hook, which suffers from many of the same problems as this film). There are some great films for kids out there. This isn't one of them.
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kenjha5 May 2008
The acting, screenplay, and direction are all atrocious in this unwatchable and boring film. Spielberg's cliché-ridden story seems to be made up of leftover ideas from "Raiders of the Lost Ark." The script is amateurish and has no rhyme or reason. It's as if they made up the story as they went along. The kids are simply obnoxious; they talk non-stop and don't say anything interesting. This film is supposedly targeted at youngsters, but it has crude sexual "humor" (not the least bit funny) and tasteless violence directed at children. Rather than direct it himself, Spielberg brought in Donner, presumably to spread the blame, but the latter does nothing to save this sinking ship.
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Incredibly disappointing movie
the_wolf_imdb23 August 2008
Well I have been prepared to see kids movie. Most of the viewers seem to be happy with this move but I just keep to wonder why. It is very chaotic, hardly funny and quite abusive I have to say. But the worst part is it is actually very boring movie. From start to the end there is just sequence of screaming, did the viewers who mentioned their childhood memories keep their youth with never ending shouting like "UAAAAAAA!!!" "IIIIIIIIII!!!" "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" "UAHAAAAAAA!" "WE GOT IT!!!" "NOOOOOOO!" "HEEEEEELP!!!" "WHAAAAATS THAAAAAT?!" et cerera et cerera. Everyone in the movie is just plain silly - children, parents, police, everyone. The only exception are banditos who are simply brain dead. Its stupid, its just stupid. It's disgusting, literally two hours walk in sewage filled with sewage humor. I'm very happy I've seen this movie on TV and pay nothing for this most unpleasant experience. I'm really happy I have not bought it because I would be very angry because of money wasted.
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whitesheik28 June 2009
I sat with amusement reading these ridiculous "reviews" on The Goonies. Ninety-nine percent of them written by people who saw it when they were five or eight and who are 80s children. Well, what a stinker it is. I've avoided it like the plague all these years, but now I've seen it and I'm here to tell you I almost threw my shoe through the TV. The "characters" are so unrelentingly stupid and irritating, the "script" is one bad sequence after another and loaded with some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard in a mainstream film. It is a career low for everyone, if you ask me. You know, I saw lots of movies when I was a kid (not in the 80s) and while I can think back with fondness on some of them, I'm also not living in my past - and I can recognize that while it may have been swell when I was five, while it may hold some nostalgia value, I can also recognize a stinker when I see one from my past.

But that's the deal with 80s children - they don't grow up. Same with 90s and the 2000s. Nobody grows up - thirty is the new ten and the world is not a pretty place. The one redeeming feature of The Goonies is its Dave Grusin score, which is terrific. Simply put, one of the worst movies I've ever seen and I've seen some doozies.
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Too much screaming, horrible acting
mad_force4 December 2011
After 25+ years, I finally watched this movie with my daughter and after 45 minutes I had to leave the room. The CONSTANT screaming and yelling by all the characters was more than I could take. The dialog was stupid, the characters over-acted, the fat kid was annoying as hell, and the amount of plot holes made this laughable at best. The premise of the movie is great...a remake could do well, but as this stands I couldn't stand to hear one more second of it.

And seriously, they cast Martha Plimpton??? Of all the struggling actors in Hollywood, this is who they picked? I guess they needed a homely girl that couldn't act, so they picked her (with Kerri Green being a close second).
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The Goonies: This is the ultimate crap.
latsblaster29 April 2003
So how can I explain why this remains as the ultimate crap? I thought "The Goonies" was supposed to be a great exciting kids-adventure, but this is a horrible thing from start to end. Everything in this film could be so much better. It is never exciting and never funny, even if it somehow tries to be funny with stupid jokes. The characters are empty all over and really uninspiring. You just want to stop watching. The end is stupid and without any kind of joy, the villains are not really menacing or frightening as I thought they would be, they are just dull. The film doesn't have the guts to take it self seriously any time. And I really hate irritating fat children in movies that just can eat and scream! If you want to experience proper 1980's adventure films you could see 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' or 'Stand by Me' instead.

Richard Donner proved that he can direct entertainment with "The Omen" but "The Goonies" was a big mistake, with horrible bad uninspired direction - all the acting was worse than it could be and the film didn't have any atmosphere or mood at all. Spielberg and Columbus' script was also awful and should have been less dull. Maybe "The Goonies" had some potential to be a good adventure-movie but it failed at all points.

Rating: 1 of 10.
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To ^stupidity and beyond
David Vanholsbeeck25 March 2001
This film seems to be considered a minor classic for children. The rating is quite high, many people have seen the movie, there's been a video game inspired by it, ... and there's Spielberg who produced and wrote the film. Then it MUST be good? Think again! The truth is that this is an inconceivable mess. Whoever thought this was funny, should be locked up and put away forever. There's not even a chuckle during the whole length of the film. And I can assure you that this film seems to be going on forever! So is it entertaining then? Surely not. This film is as boring and stupid as it gets. Imagine a bunch of irritating children( all with some sort of speaking disorder, it seems), yelling their way through the "story". Think of PROBLEM CHILD, LOOK WHO'S TALKING TOO, even the POLICE ACADEMY FILMS... get the picture? Not yet? Then picture three idiotic villains (does Joe Pantaliano even recall his "performance" here?), a search for a hidden treasure (it takes a while to figure that out)and some sort of friendly "monster" (that reminded me of THE TOXIC AVENGER!), all of which seems awfully out of place in this film. Of course, this is a children's movie, I can understand that. And, like so many others of its kind, it's stupid, very stupid. And I guess you have to be a kid yourself to enjoy such films. But "stupid" doesn't actually mean "bad". There are many enjoyable, clever and sweet "family films". But this loud-mouthed, dumb mess isn't one of them. Oh, and there's actually a scene in which there's being referred to GREMLINS, another Spielberg production from a year before this one. Check out that one instead, at least there's a whole lot more cleverness in it than here. And don't say that it's too scary for children, THE GOONIES is ten times more scarier. And boring. Did I mention that already? 3/10
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Fun for the nostalgic, very poor for a rated film
John Brooks13 December 2016
This Spielberg written, directed and produced mid-80's action/fantasy quickly became a cinema classic. "Hey you guys", the chase for a treasure, those iconic kid characters... but really for a neutral, this film provides some fun; at times pretty good; for about the first hour...after which the film runs out of puff is merely sets out to complete the storyline and bundle it up in cheesy typical Hollywood fashion.

This is Spielberg making money, not Spielberg making art. Come up with an ultra-simple plot, execute it with enough effort that it's watchable but by no means great, stereotypical characters who fulfill their roles, play the teen element (as was the new trend during those days), a couple adventure with humor. Big production. Bam. Major success. Onto the next one.
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Mean-spirited pablum
Nathan Milliron6 July 2000
I still find it impossible to believe that some people consider this to be "the movie of their childhood". I saw it as totally mean-spirited (especially with the Spanish-only speaking au pair: NO kids movie should allow kids to get away with tricking someone into thinking a house is loaded with sundry drugs/sexual torture devices that do not exist).

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The greatest film of the 80s
Goonie8922 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The Goonies is a must-see for anyone who love movies, it is a treasure. The film is about a batch of kids named The Goonies who find a treasure map in a attic. When one of them realise that this may actually lead them to treasure he and his buddies decide to go on a fascinating hunt for it in a effort to save them from being forced out of their homes. Along the way they meet three crooks and Sloth- a lovable character who makes friends with the "truffle shuffle kid" Chunk, after he is caught by the crooks, and together they go looking for his friends to rescue them. So i advise you, anyone who has not seen this movie watch it as you will certainly be missing out otherwise. You will like this movie if you like films such as "The Never-Ending Story", "Legend", "Gremlins" and "Labyrinth"
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hieix13 September 2013
I hated this movie because it's just screaming without a plot. The kids have no empathy with the audience. The bandits do not scare anyone. One of the most important things you have in a kids movie it's the villain that must draw attention and be magnetic. Do The Gonnies have it? No! Not at all! Most critics here giving 7/10 upwards are just nostalgic freaks voting with childhood emotions. I fast forwarded after 30 minutes and kept doing until the end. It's inconceivable that people actually liked this movie. I read most comments giving 10/10 they are just saying the same thing "oh my childhood, oh my childhood, oh it's a classic". God! Please stop putting this garbage in a good rank! I don't like kids movies but you have so much better things out there that deserve much more ratings.
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