The Galaxy Invader

It was certainly a handcrafted movie, made in worst financial conditions as possible, the plot is fully nonsensical to start, foolish and lack of creativity, the synopsis is about a UFO which fell down at Maryland, a boy advises his school professor, they'll meet where the UFO crashed, although in the city a red neck Montague's family face the odd Alien invader, a sort of green rubber skin, he just grunts and has a strange space-gun together a noisy ball on the belt, thus leading by a drunkard Montague father's family and together a self-called smart guy gathers a lot of loafs to hunt the creature, worst impossible, laughable, I have to admit, I've stay between of an attack of laughs or about to cry watching this funny, enjoyable and absolute TRASH piece, at least had many hot girls on the plot to relief meantime!!!

Resume:

First watch: 2010 / How many: 2 / Source: DVD / Rating: 3.5

I fell in love with the two-line plot description on the back of the DVD-cover and I simply had to see it because it sounded like THE stupidest low-budget production of the entire 80's decade! Dig this: "When an alien is forced to crash-land his ship on the earth's surface, he finds himself relentlessly pursued by a bunch of drunken rednecks." How cool is that? It sounds like all Science Fiction movies involving extraterrestrial life ever made before, only…the complete opposite! Writer/director Don Dohler delivers exactly what he promises and makes "The Galaxy Invader" a rather entertaining experience as long as you can tolerate amateurish acting performances, completely unconvincing special effects and meaningless dialogs that are extremely poorly written. There is indeed a lonely alien, looking an awful lot like the creature from the black lagoon, on the loose in the forests of Baltimore and the yokels at the local bar decide to hunt it down so they can sell it to the highest bidder. Especially the stereotypical portrayal of the local idiots is downright hilarious! These men chase their disobedient 25-year-old daughters with shotguns; always carry around at least two cans of Budweiser everywhere they go and wear filthy & torn up shirts. The hunting sequences (filmed at night) are embarrassingly poor and the ending – filmed by Dohler like it's some sort of heroic battle – is too stupid for words. The title is pretty misleading, as the green-suited alien doesn't do much invading and he certainly doesn't look very menacing with his minuscule gun and complementary crystal ball. Even according to TV-standards, this totally fails as Sci-Fi picture, but it guaranteed to make laugh out loud!

The creature design in this would have been rejected by 1960s era BBC.

The acting is awful, the writing is awful, and the dialogue is on par with a drunken toddler.

There were a total of 3 effects in this movie: The first was the crappy animated "meteor" as it hit the earth. The second was the rubber suited alien (reminded me a lot of the creature from the black lagoon). Then there was the globe & gun thingy. Sadly, we didn't get to see a spaceship or even a hole in the ground---not even a studio cave.

The globe & gun contraption would have been fair had it been backed up by decent effects. The shots it fired and the dumb little firebursts were really lame.

Now the rubber mask wasn't bad. The first time it was shown it actually startled me (that's quite an accomplishment for a movie of this calibre). But from there it was all downhill.

Acting was just plain bad. And the only people in the whole cast who didn't look like they had just risen from a pigpen were the kid (David) and the alien. In my opinion the alien was the only decent actor in this mess---and that's probably cause he didn't have to talk. The kid would have been okay if he hadn't had that vacant expression on his face the whole time.

The story was dumb but had an unusual twist in that the alien was the one being chased instead of the usual opposite. But it seemed the story centred around the psychopathic Joe more than the alien. And occasionally you got the idea that maybe the producer had other things on his mind than the story at hand---I mean there were quite a few ass shots of those girls.

Brief recap of story: Alien crashes on earth. Crash is witnessed by college kid who tells his prof. But before prof can arrive, large group of morons (led by two even bigger morons) get together to hunt the alien. Constant bickering (and even killing) among the morons almost makes the viewer forget this is supposed to be a sci-fi movie. (Honestly, I really, really wanted that alien to off all those dopes except the boy & prof.---it would have been so satisfying.) The alien is captured, then gets away with help from boy & prof. But the hunt continues with several lives lost and a most unsatisfying ending. (You really feel sorry for that poor alien---not only because of the story, but because he had to be in the same movie with all those boneheads).

One other positive: it's in colour.

I gave this one a most generous 3 mostly because of the rubber suit & cause it was able to give me a little jump. Sci-fi night owls can probably endure thru this moronic mess without falling asleep---I did. Everyone else---don't waste your time.

It's so tempting to add this one to the coaster collection.

Back in high school, one of our favorite six-pack stinkers was The Fiend (1980), in which a supernatural creature resembling a radioactive Twistie enters the grave of a recently deceased music teacher. He comes back from the dead, naturally craving blood, but more unnaturally, still giving home lessons on the violin. It was one of a string of low-budget genre movies from Don Dohler, a Baltimore filmmaker who may have turned out like his more famous Baltimore counterpart John Waters if he'd spent less time gluing together fanzines and devouring Famous Monsters Of Filmland, and more time huffing nitrous and shimmying around with perverts.

And just like a John Waters film, Dohler's movies are filled with would-be thespian matrons and blockheads with thickly nasal Baltimore twangs screaming at each other in garishly decorated sets. In the case of The Galaxy Invader from 1985, it's the family of a violent, gun-toting alcoholic hillbilly doing the screaming - dear old Paw discovers the crash site of an alien in a green rubber reptile suit, and decides bagging a spaceman before the CIA does means big bucks on the black market. He rustles up a hunting party of greedy Harleyville hicks while the Moon Man goes on a Human Hunt. One early victim of the reptilian rampage is George Stover, a Don Dohler standby who keen-eyed John Waters watchers will recognize as Mink Stole's father in Waters' Desperate Living (1977).

Compared to most shot-on-video garbage released these days, it's an unexpected treat - shot on film with a distinct style, albeit a Z-grade one, and with a real wide-eyed, earnest and straight-faced appreciation of the genre which gives Don's movies a genuine charm. Sadly Don passed away in December 2006 aged 60, but he leaves behind the legacy of his hardly misspent life. Don Dohler, wherever you are in the cosmos, I salute you.