Diane: When are you going to outgrow him, Charlie?
Charlie: Outgrow him? I dunno Diane, Maybe WASP's outgrow people. I'm Italian. We outgrow pants, not people.
Paulie: Murder rap? Nobody came within twenty feet of that yo-yo. He dived into that hole like a fucking gopher!
Barney: He's not gonna give you up, Charlie. You're family.
Charlie: Family, that fuckin' kid? We're third cousins.
Barney: Third cousins. For Italians. That's like twin brothers with the Irish.
Paulie: The cop shit his pants! Hey, hey, the cop shit his pants!
Mrs. Ritter: My Walter was as tough as a bar of iron, and he didn't get that from his father. Now, do you wanna fight, Officer? Or do you get the hell out of my house!
Charlie: Mister. I am the Pope, this might be your church, right now I'm the Pope of Greenwich Village 'cause I got the tape alright?
Bedbug Eddie: I like you have balls. I don't get too mad at that.
Paulie: Cut that out you Argentine degenerate! That's my brother's place your robbin' there. This ain't some filthy little jail in Caracas, this is A-mer-i-ca!
Ginty: [Paulie runs into the bar as the summons man heads back towards the mens room] Hey I know you! You're the guy...
Paulie: Yeah, I'm the guy who got his car fuckin' towed... and you're Kinty.
Paulie: What'd I say
[starts emptying a powder pack into a glass]
Ginty: Good God, Lad! you're not poisoning the man!
Paulie: Nah. It's horse physic - here, pour the ginger ale, man. It's what they give horses when they can't shit.
Ginty: How much do they give a horse that can't shit?
Paulie: One. One of these will bust a block of concrete
Ginty: Does it work fast?
Paulie: It ain't slow...
Paulie: Nicky don't go for spit. 'Nose' still shines his own shoes, pop. I don't call that success.
Paulie's Father: Oh yeah? And what do you call it?
Paulie: Knowin' how to spend it. I never ordered a Brandy in my life that wasn't Cordon Bleu... I took two-hundred from shylocks, pop, to see Sinatra at the Garden? Sat two seats away from Tony Bennett. That's success!
Paulie: [Making himself a very large sandwich at an outdoor table]
Charlie: You know, you ought to get a permit.
Paulie: A permit? For what?
Charlie: To shit in the street. You eat like a horse!
Paulie: Horses ain't like people, man, they can't make themselves better than they're born. See, with a horse, it's all in the gene. It's the fucking gene that does the running. The horse has got absolutely nothing to do with it.
Charlie: I didn't do anything, Paulie. I didn't hit her. I didn't do nothin'.
Paulie: You can't do that man. I mean you don't abuse 'em once in a while they'll shit all over you. I don't mean you walk around morning to night whackin' 'em upside the head like someone from the other side but you terrorize 'em once in a while just to keep 'em in line. Know what I mean?
Ronnie: The old man's upstairs, z'got a bug up his ass *this big*.
Charlie: Hey, so what else is new.
Ronnie: It's no bullshit Charlie. He's checkin' the dupes.
Charlie: He's checkin' the waiter's dupes tonight?
Ronnie: Party's over for a while. And this broad you're startin' up with? That's Johnny Mac's private stock.
Charlie: Honest work. Let me tell ya somethin' about 'honest work'. When somebody says they got 'honest work', you know what they got? They got a shit job, that's what they got.
Pete: Nothing hurts as much as you think it will. You go numb... then you wrap your belt around your wrist and get to the nearest hospital.
Paulie: Aw man, another two-hundred dollar a week hard-on lookin' to shit on anyone was drivin' a Coupe deVille.
Diane: Charlie? Charlie!
Charlie: What? What do you want? Huh, What? Say it. What. What? What do you want! SPEAK! What do you want!
Diane: I'm pregnant.
Charlie: Come over here. Come over here. Get over here! Come over here! Come here! Come over here right now! No wait... wait... don't come over here. don't come over here. Don't come over here.
Mrs. Ritter: [smoking a cigarette, coughing uncontrollably]
Bunky: At least go to the filters, would ya ma? And those highballs aren't doing you any good either.
Mrs. Ritter: A little whisky is good for the soul.
Paulie: Hey Barney, Don't eat that crap! this guy's selling instant hepatitis!
Jimmy the Cheese Man: Waiting tables is what you know. Making cheese is what I know. Let's stay with what we know here.
Paulie: You know about making cheese? Not for nothin', Jimmy, but my mother sent me over a hunk of mozzarella from your place last week, it was no big bargain. Tough, that mozzarella and it ain't the first time I've noticed it either, your mozzarella's tough sometimes.