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The Ninja Mission More at IMDbPro »
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| Index | 12 reviews in total |
9 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
A classic, 10 January 2005
Author:
Mattias Petersson from Stockholm, Sweden
This is the magnum opus from the Swedish king of crap, Mats-Helge
Olsson. Seldom has a movie of this magnitude been made in Sweden and it
truly stands out as one of the most amazing achievements in Swedish
film to date. Who pays for these things?
The Russian nuclear scientist Markov wants to defect to Sweden. But his
plans are ruined by the Russian military who kidnap him and tell him
that he has arrived in Sweden. This trickery is their way of seeing to
that Markov continues his work in nuclear physics that will
revolutionize the energy supply for the whole planet. The CIA however
is bent on getting Markov to the west and send their ninja to liberate
him.
The practice of having Swedish actors speaking English is something
that Mats-Helge has perfected in his later works. The cheap b-movie
feeling this creates is probably unmatched for performance. But besides
this? Well the action is standard direct-to-video style. Machine guns
firing huge clouds of smoke. Thousands of Russians dying. People
running around in black ninja suits, trying to hide in the snow.
What really stands out though is the insanely poor way the fighting
scenes are choreographed. When they say "Ninja" in the title i expect
martial arts, i expect close combat. But there are maybe two or three
scenes of actual martial arts in this movie. And they are hilarious.
It's so bad i lack the words to describe it. If the ninjas moved any
slower their hearts would stop. And of course the whole movie ends in a
bang that indicates a special-effects budget consisting of four
food-stamps and a McDonald's voucher.
So what's the verdict? Instant classic of course. Never before has a
movie been made that is so obviously meant to be consumed along with
huge amounts of alcohol. It's the ultimate party movie. Insert into
video and laugh. One just has to realize that movies like these are not
made any more. This is film history.
Therefore the rating is 8/10 for entertainment, 1/10 for quality and
10/10 for accents.
5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Sweden's most lucrative film yet, 27 August 2004
Author:
olaholmdahl from Sweden
This is truly a Swedish cult classic. On the cover of my copy, the tag
line is "Ninjas and the CIA explode in violence in the heart of
Russia". To the best of my knowledge, Ninja Mission is still the
Swedish film to generate the most revenue (abroad, since it was
instantly banned in Sweden during the merry 80's).
The movie itself is a clumsily put together action bonanza with a
superbly surreal plot revolving around a revolutionary energy source,
kidnapped scientists, and lots and lots of ninjas employed, for some
reason, by the Americans.
The random slow motions scenes, haphazard spurts of violence and
blurred footage come together to create a rather confusing, if
entertaining B-movie with a thin slice of macho heroic moral slapped on
top. As in so many other Mats Helge movies screen time is mostly spent
on people walking in and out of rooms, running along hallways and
yelling 'hurry up' to one another - a surefire way to create
excitement. Still, there are joyous little things like the ninja terror
weapon that fires a toxic dart, making the victim's heart (or head!)
explode, and a fair amount of decent ninja action with some pretty neat
martial arts moves.
70% of the actors sport heavy Swedish accent, and Mats Helge himself
plays the fat, bearded Russian secret agent that kidnaps young girls.
5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Notwithstanding low budget action - great fun!, 4 March 1999
Author:
magnus i h jansson from Stockholm, Sweden
According to the director this movie was popular in Asia. It is somewhat difficult to take these Mats Helge movies seriously since most of his films are shot on a very tight budget. Almost no USD at all. But it is fascinating to establish that Mats Helge eventually completes something which can be called an action movie. The Ninja Mission is - I think - the best one among all movies directed by him. Some special effects are quite enjoyable. This is not a "B" or "C" movie. It is a "Z" movie - but an enjoyable and fun "Z" movie!
4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
A priceless masterpiece by a living legend!, 18 June 1999
Author:
Fred Anderson from Sweden
Maybe one of the most entertaining Ninja-movies ever made. A hard-hitting action movie with lots of gore and slow motion (eehaaa!). Made in ´83 and still the greatest swedish action movie made so far! And we can hardly wait to see the upcoming sequel, Ninja mission 2000 - The legacy of Markov!
4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
A nice try........., 23 July 2006
Author:
HaemovoreRex from United Kingdom
The story here, which takes place during the cold war, concerns a
Russian scientist trying to defect to the west (via Sweden) with his
top secret formula which, so we're led to believe could potentially
shift the balance of power to the Russians if they were able to
decipher it.
As it turns out, the altruistic and benevolent old scientist who has
dreams of his formula making the world a better place, is tricked by
the Russians who, via a staged rescue attempt, convince the naive old
chap that he has in fact been flown into Sweden where he can complete
his work in safety. Predictably riled by the situation however, the CIA
resolve to send in a squad of Swedish Ninja (!) to retrieve him from
behind enemy lines.
Will these daring masters of death be successful in their mission?
Hmmm, well you'll have to watch to find out.
What can I say? Well for starters, this film is certainly noteworthy in
that it was the first ever Swedish Ninja film to be released to a world
wide audience. It's actually admittedly very refreshing to see a
European take on the Ninja genre and the differences in their portrayal
from the American and Oriental representations of these stealth
assassins in other films. Here they are portrayed more like the SAS
than some of the mystical/magical and virtually indestructible warriors
in other ninja fare. In fact, not giving too much away but the ninja in
this film are shown to suffer human fallibility's just like any other
combat soldier. The film must also claim the accolade as probably the
goriest ninja movie I have ever watched (in the full uncut version at
least) with a fair bit of the old red stuff a'flying throughout (often
in glorious slow motion), again, a very welcome aspect indeed.
However, even with the above in mind, the film has to be said to be a
sadly average affair overall with far too little ninja action on offer.
The martial arts are very poorly executed throughout and as it happens
the ninja themselves mostly resolve to utilising semi automatic weapons
to take care of business.....a somewhat odd and noisy choice for these
supposed masters of stealth perhaps?
I've read a lot of reviews praising this for being a 'bad' movie as in
the 'so bad it's actually good' variety. I have to disagree though. OK
so the film is no masterpiece on any level but the film makers were
certainly not incompetent (as is a director of such similar fodder as
Godfrey Ho for instance) and obviously put a lot of effort into this
for which they should be commended. It just sadly fails to enthral as
they would have hoped for which is a real shame.
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Don't forget, it's not just a B-movie... it's in the eighties too, 16 February 2007
Author:
Enchorde from Sweden
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Recap: Doctor Markov has developed a new theory how to produce energy,
knowledge that might unbalance the world. He keeps his knowledge coded
and secret and desperately wants out of the Soviet Union. KGB on the
other side desperately wants the new technology. So, they sets a scheme
in motion. During a rescue attempt to free Markov, KGB steps in, takes
Markov to a secret location and lures him to reveal his secret by
saying they are in Sweden, and working for the UN. As a backup, KGB
kidnaps Markov's estranged daughter. CIA now send their best agents, a
team of (Swedish?) Ninjas to thwart KGB and rescue Markov and his
daughter.
Comments: A cult movie that despite not being very good needs seeing.
The movie is quite ambitious but lacking in many areas. First off is
that it is very dark, probably to conceal locations and bad effects,
that some scenes are hard to comprehend. You can't see what is
happening. The second thing that it is lacking is martial arts, despite
being a ninja-movie. Sure there are some, of quite poor quality, but
mostly the ninjas fires automatic guns or sets of explosions. The
automatic guns pose a problem too as they seem to have a endless supply
of ammunition. And the ninjas seem almost immune to bullets while
Soviet guards die like flies.
What does it have that speaks for it then? The idea and ambition
foremost. Some actually, and especially for a Swedish movie, decent
action-scenes albeit not of martial arts. Some nice slow-motion scenes
and pretty much blood and gore. And some very interesting new weapons
technology that makes the victims heart or brain explode. Mostly all
parts that you look for in a B-movie.
Because it definitely is a B-movie, no mistake could be made there. But
if you expect it, and watch it like a B-movie, it is entertaining. But
don't forget, it is not only a B-movie it is set in the eighties. Some
girls, for example, besides wearing... lets say "interesting" clothes,
have lethal doses of eye shadow and makeup.
In all, see for the cult status and the ambition. Enjoy it, and then
forget it.
4/10
When I talk about movies specifically bad movies I always mention "Ninja Mission"., 17 March 2011
Author:
pepperfan
When I talk about movies, specifically bad movies, I always mention
"Ninja Mission". My friend wanted to see it and neither my brother nor
I wanted to see it. But my friend begged and promised to pay for our
ticket if we didn't like it. As we were leaving the theater without
prompting or any words said reached for his wallet and reimbursed us
for the movie.
You know a movie is bad when straight teen age boys roll their eye when
the cute actress takes off her shirt and think "not even this can save
the movie". :-) Yes it is that bad. Yes it was out of the theater in my
neighborhood in one day.
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
An ultra-stylish, blood-spattered gem!, 11 May 2010
Author:
roegcamel from United States
NINJA MISSION was my introduction to the talents of director Mats
Helge, who is apparently Sweden's king of trashy genre movies. This
film is known as his finest achievement, both in terms of film-making
and financial return. I went into it expecting the worst (few people
seem to like it, and those who do consider it high camp) and wound up
having a great time with it.
Forget the plot. I already have, for the most part. The reason to see
this movie is the action on parade, and there's plenty of it, although
it should be said that it's confined largely to the first and last
twenty minutes. The mid-section is fairly hard to take as the movie
hits the brakes for forty-five minutes, but it's still a fun affair,
loaded with goofy synth music and hilarious acting, not to mention a
punk club scene that's pretty unforgettable.
As I said, the action flares up in the first and last segments. In the
opening twenty minutes we're treated to some exciting gun play,
complete with gory exit wounds, but it's nothing altogether new. It's
the final twenty minutes that explode, and it's this final segment that
makes NINJA MISSION an absolute must-see for fans of gore-soaked
cinema. Honestly, I'd say that the last portion of the film contains
some of the goriest and most impressive action film-making I've yet to
lay eyes on, and I've seen most the genre has to offer from every
country.
Here's what the final twenty minutes has to offer: Beheadings via ninja
sword (and we're talking about some truly horrific gore here, including
prosthetic heads and blood-spurting neck stumps), ninjas wielding
tech-9's (mostly in slow motion, intercut with shots of victims being
riddled with meaty, gory squibs) and even a ninja who fires exploding
darts into people's heads and abdomens, causing meat, skull and brain
matter to spray in all directions... again, in slow motion! The effects
are nicely done and are, at times, stomach churning.
The film-making isn't bad either, with some handsome shots and some
surprisingly impressive lighting schemes. In all, it looks pretty
great.
If you're interested in trashy action films like WAR DOG, MAD FOXES,
the horde of Filipino actioners from the likes of Arizal (e.g. FINAL
SCORE), you won't want to miss NINJA MISSION. It's pretty special,
particularly if you enjoy laughing at trashy action.
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
A touching and toughtful movie..., 17 August 2004
Author:
m0rg16 from Sweden
I just watched this film on DVD. It was actually worse than I thought... But
let me explain: At first I thought this was going to be a horrible movie,
yes. But in an Ed Wood kind of way: It's so horrible it's actually
incredible! But this movie isn't. It could have been, but it isn't. But it's
still quite "enjoyable" (mind you, it's still horrible).
The dialoge and acting is bad, bad, bad. Remember that. It's really
horrible. But it's quite funny in some scenes, because of that! Some scenes
almost make it to 'Ed Wood Status'. But those aren't that many. Instead, we
are graced with an endless amount of pointless action scenes. The finale,
for example, has Ninja firing at an endless amount of guards. The whole
thing is just ninja firing at guards, for ten minutes or so! Fun.
Not.
Those kind of action scenes are abundant in this film: Ninja/Agents firing
at various russian guards and slaughtering them in the thousands. For
several minutes... Makes the film quite boring.
Ok, so let's get going on the "plot": A russian scientist, who is working on
something that might tip the scale in the russians favour, wants to defect
to the western world. But the russians don't want that, obviously, so they
send in their agents to try and stop him. But the CIA are allied with the
NINJA so, they are up for the task to rescue him at all cost!
Yes!
The plot is extremely silly, yet the movie handles it with extreme
seriousness. This, of course, grants us some Ed Wood moments, as I have
explained. But those few moments are not enough to save this film from
boredom, of the action scenes.
I'm not going to review every single aspect of this film, as I use to, as
you can imagine: They're all extremely low budget.
Ok, so final verdict: 4. 3 for the Ed Wood moments and 1 for the action!
Blerg!
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Easily the worst movie I've ever seen! Appallingly bad, 1 July 2005
Author:
transformasian from Chicago, IL
Even 20+ years later, Ninja Mission stands out as the worst movie I ever managed to sit through. Scandanavian ninjas silently enter a scene, fire their obnoxiously noisy sub-machine guns with wild abandon, and then silently leave. Wow, how will we find those silent invisible assassins? Just follow the shell casings and smoke!Painfully bad dialog (or was it brilliant and just poorly translated?), not an Asian in sight in the cast, and a whopping total of 3 Asians among the stunt crew. The plot is ridiculous, the acting pretty much non-existent - then again, ninja can't act! Save yourselves - avoid watching at all costs!
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