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Night Patrol (1984)
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Overview
User Rating:
Director:
Writers:
Release Date:
16 November 1984 (USA)
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Tagline:
They're making America safe...barely more
Plot:
Melvin is a pathetic loser of a motorcycle cop who gets demoted to working the night shift as a punishment for his constant screw-ups...
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Awards:
1 win
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User Comments:
A horrible movie whose audience is too young to watch it
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Cast
(Cast overview, first billed only) | Linda Blair | ... | Officer Sue Perman |
 | Pat Paulsen | ... | Officer Kent Lane |
| Jaye P. Morgan | ... | Kate Parker |
| Jack Riley | ... | Doctor Ziegler |
 | Billy Barty | ... | Captain Lewis |
| Murray Langston | ... | Officer Melvin White / The Unknown Comic |
 | Pat Morita | ... | Rape Victim |
| Sydney Lassick | ... | Peeping Tom (as Sidney Lassick) |
| Kent Perkins | ... | Tex |
| Lori Sutton | ... | Edith Hutton |
| Roxanne Cybelle | ... | Kicking Girl |
| Joe Battaglia | ... | Bum |
| Mik One | ... | Press Agent |
| Alex Folks | ... | Leroy's Bartender |
| Patrie Allen | ... | Officer Judy |
Additional Details
Parents Guide:
Runtime:
USA:85 min | USA:87 min (video version)
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Color:
Aspect Ratio:
1.78 : 1 more
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Fun Stuff
Goofs:
Continuity: When Kent helps Melvin up to the hand dryer in the men's room to dry his pants they turn the dryer on. A man walks in the men's room, the scene cuts back to Kent and Melvin the dryer is off.
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Movie Connections:
References Saturday Night Fever (1977)
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This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.more (32 total)
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I rented this movie more than 10 years ago when I was in my very early teens. It's loaded with juvenile sex, gas and lesbian jokes. It also had so much gratuitous nudity that I often watched it for no other reason than to stare at the bodacious breasts. I LOVED IT!! Too bad I decided to give it another viewing a few years back. JEEZ was I a stupid kid. In fact, I couldn't even sit through it again and the below review is from my childhood memory of this disaster caught on celluloid. Remarkable, how age completely alters perception.
Not that it matters, but the plot (if you could call it that) involves a stupid masked ('Unknown') comic running around robbing convenience stores, subjecting his victims and the audience to a barrage of horrible jokes. For reasons that become clear at the movie's 'twist ending', a certain police officer becomes interested in catching the masked madman. Into this mess, throw Pat Morita as a girl-voiced sex-crime victim forced to abuse himself repeatedly to amuse a gang of lesbians, women repeatedly coming under a bizarre spell causing them to spontaneously remove their shirts, Bill Barty walking around releasing enough gas to inflate the Hindenberg and 'The Unknown Comic' gaining enormous popularity, despite telling worse jokes than Jackie Martling.
A lot of nonsense happens, all supposedly related to the police investigation of the masked thief's crime spree. It all comes together in the end when we learn the 'Unknown Comic's' true identity and the leads fall in love and have sex (giving us a glimpse of Linda Blaire's ample bosom).
Still interested? Then keep in mind that this movie is shot in such an amateurish manner, you'll swear the cinematographer was either blind, or couldn't bare to watch what he was filming. Further, the dialogue is so inane, you'll be scrambling for a knife to cut your ears off.
In the end? Avoid at all costs, unless you are 12. However, if you want your girlfriend to leave you, I suggest you rent this movie, tell her you saw it just before you met her and you know she'll love it.