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The Ice Pirates (1984)

PG  |   |  Comedy, Sci-Fi, Action  |  16 March 1984 (USA)
5.6
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Ratings: 5.6/10 from 7,105 users  
Reviews: 53 user | 31 critic

In the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disappeared when he found ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Jason
...
...
Roscoe
...
Maida
...
Killjoy
...
...
Supreme Commander
Natalie Core ...
Nanny
Jeremy West ...
Zorn
...
Wendon
...
Count Paisley
Marcia Lewis ...
Frog Lady
...
Fitzcairn / Prisoner (as Daryl Roach)
Robert Symonds ...
Lanky Nibs
Gary Brockette ...
Percy the Robot
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Storyline

In the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disappeared when he found information dangerous to the rulers. A real Space Opera with sword fights, explosions, fighting robots, monsters, bar fights and time warps. Written by John Vogel <jlvogel@comcast.net>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

See A Totally Spaced Adventure! See more »


Certificate:

PG | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

16 March 1984 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Ice Pirates  »

Box Office

Budget:

$9,000,000 (estimated)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

(Metrocolor)

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

John Matuszak (Killjoy) later went onto to star as Sloth in The Goonies (1985), a similarly themed pirate-treasure movie. See more »

Quotes

Maida: It says here that the water planet has so much moisture on its surface that it continuously creates cycles of clouds and falling rain.
Killjoy: Sure. You know what that means. That means that we will both be able to take hot wet baths together.
See more »

Connections

Features TRON (1982) See more »

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User Reviews

 
If you liked Mars Attacks! and Buckaroo Banzai ....
31 December 2004 | by (Syracuse, NY) – See all my reviews

This is the movie that killed Mary Crosby's career and nearly derailed Robert Urich's, Angelica Houston's and Ron Perlman's. It's one of those movies - like 1941 and Paint Your Wagon - that everyone knows is a total turkey, except for those who place what they see on the screen above what they read in the reviews. If you liked Mars Attacks! and Buckaroo Banzai, and laughed your ass off at Spaced Invaders and Killer Clowns from Outer Space, you'll love Ice Pirates.

The time is the distant future, where by far the most precious commodity in the galaxy is water. The idea that there were once ten planets whose surface was principally covered by water is considered a myth by most people, as is the story that the last surviving water planet was somehow removed to the unreachable center of the galaxy at the end of the galactic trade wars. The galaxy is ruled by your basic evil emperor (John Carradine) presiding over a trade oligarchy that controls all mining and sale of ice from asteroids and comets.

Robert Urich is Jason, leader of a band of ice pirates that includes Ron Perlman, John Matuzak and Michael D Roberts. Of course, the crew also prominently features the obligatory unbeatable master swordsman and latter-day samurai, but, in a blow for equality, the part is played to perfection by Angelica Houston. In the formulaic plot for outlaw space operas, our heroes attack an ice freighter, are captured, but escape with a princess (Mary Crosby) kidnapped by the evil emperor in tow. They rescue her, thread the perilous path to the center of the universe and the fabled tenth planet, and destroy the evil empire's stranglehold on the people.

Along the way, you are treated to some of film's oddest aliens, god-awful puns and excellent lampoons of space opera icons. It's full of bona fide toilet humor, from the pirates breaking through the hull of the ice freighter into a lavatory whose commode is occupied by a chickenman, to the standard reconditioning for outlaws and other deviants - castration by mechanical chompers, a lobotomy and a blond dye job, then sale as a soprano domestic slave.

Ice Pirates is the illegitimate child of Star Wars and Animal House. The jokes, both verbal and physical, range from the hackneyed to the truly brilliant - and most of both will have you rolling on the floor. It's a an hour-and-a-half of pure unadulterated fun. When I finally get the 6' x 8' screen for our light projector mounted, this will be one of the first movies we watch.


35 of 44 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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