Hardbodies (1984)

Director:

Mark Griffiths

Writers:

Steve Greene (screenplay) &
Eric Alter (screenplay) ...
(more)

Release Date:

4 May 1984 (USA)

Genre:

Comedy

Tagline:

If you don't know what they are, you don't know what you're missing.

Plot:

Three middle-aged daddies visit California to have a marvelous time at the beach. When they learn that...

Plot Keywords:

Beach | Female Nudity | Sex On Beach | Beach Bunny | Beautiful Woman

Cast

Grant Cramer	...	Scotty
Teal Roberts	...	Kristi
Gary Wood	...	Hunter
Michael Rapport	...	Rounder
Sorrells Pickard	...	Ashby
Roberta Collins	...	Lana
Cindy Silver	...	Kimberly
Courtney Gains	...	Rag
Kristi Somers	...	Michelle
Crystal Shaw	...	Candy
Darcy DeMoss	...	Dede
Antony Ponzini	...	Rocco (as Anthony Ponzini)
Marvin Katzoff	...	Dorky Geek
Kip Waldo	...	Head Geek
Michael Miller	...	Landlord
Chuck Hart	...	Young Geek
Kane Hodder	...	Older Geek
Kit Garfield	...	Hardbody in Car (as Kit Hamilton)
Erika Dockery	...	Hardbody in Car
Karen Lee Kelly	...	Hardbody on Bike
Karen LaVoie	...	Jogging Hardbody
Kathleen Kinmont	...	Pretty Skater
Steve Workman	...	Hair Stylist
Jackie Easton	...	Girl in Dressing Room
Janet Gardner	...	Vixen - Lead Vocals
Jan Kuehnemund	...	Vixen - Lead Guitar
Pia Maiocco	...	Vixen - Bass
Laurie Hedlund	...	Vixen - Drums
Tamara Ivanov	...	Vixen - Rhythm Guitar
Juli Lawrence	...	Nicki
Julie Always	...	Photo Session Hardbody
Leslee Bremmer	...	Photo Session Hardbody
Tina Riccio	...	Photo Session Hardbody
Karen Lybrand	...	Photo Session Hardbody
Deborah Scardilli	...	Rocco's Girl
Louise Baker	...	Rocco's Girl
Dana Gonzalez	...	Rocco's Girl
Laurie Bath	...	Rocco's Girl
Lorena Hartley	...	Rocco's Girl
Dee Anderson	...	Bodybuilder
Scott Kaufman	...	Krak - Group in Club
John Steele	...	Krak - Group in Club
David Spector	...	Krak - Group in Club
Marcia Karr	...	Hardbody on Stairs
Mark Wilson	...	Partygoer
Steve Gold	...	Farnsey
Joyce Jameson	...	Rounder's Mom
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Deke Anderson	...	Bodybuilder (uncredited)
Emily Longstreth	...	Girl on Skates (uncredited)

Directed by
Mark Griffiths

Writing credits
Steve Greene		(screenplay) &
Eric Alter		(screenplay) and
Mark Griffiths		(screenplay)
Steve Greene		(story) &
Eric Alter		(story)

Produced by
Jeff Begun	....	producer
Ken Dalton	....	producer
Judy Mooradian	....	associate producer
Ken Solomon	....	producer

Cinematography by
Tom Richmond		(director of photography)

Film Editing by
Andy Blumenthal

Casting by
Gino Havens		(as Geno Havens)

Production Design by
Gregg Fonseca

Set Decoration by
Anne H. Ahrens		(as Anne Huntley)

Makeup Department
Diane G. Fist	....	assistant hair stylist
Diane G. Fist	....	assistant makeup artist
Medusah	....	hair stylist (as Anne Aulenta-Spira)
Medusah	....	makeup artist (as Anne Aulenta-Spira)

Production Management
Andrew Z. Davis	....	second unit manager (as Andrew Davis)

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Eric M. Breiman	....	assistant director
Daniel Eisenberg	....	second assistant director
Marianne Fisher	....	second unit director

Art Department
Michael Paul Clausen	....	assistant art director

Sound Department
Gary C. Bourgeois	....	sound re-recording mixer
David Brownlow	....	sound recordist
Mary Jo Devenney	....	boom operator
Roberta Doheny	....	dialogue editor
Sarah Johnstone	....	boom operator
John Kwiatkowski	....	sound effects editor

Special Effects by
Terry Woolman	....	special effects

Stunts
Eddie Braun	....	co-stunt coordinator
BJ Davis	....	stunt coordinator
Chuck Hart	....	stunts
Kane Hodder	....	stunts

Camera and Electrical Department
Herb Ault	....	best boy grip
David Bodin	....	key grip
David Calloway	....	additional photographer
Lex DuPont	....	second assistant camera
Lisa Harper	....	third grip
Sven Kirsten	....	electrician
Chris Lombardi	....	first assistant camera
Shaun Madigan	....	gaffer
Peter Roberts	....	still photographer
Elizabeth Webber	....	best boy
Bob Weiss	....	additional photographer
Steve Wright	....	additional photographer

Casting Department
Kate Long	....	casting associate
Tyrone Polk	....	casting services

Costume and Wardrobe Department
Bernadette Brady	....	wardrobe
Dori Cooper	....	assistant wardrobe

Editorial Department
Jack Hilton	....	assistant editor
Janice McKay	....	apprentice editor
Terrie Silverman	....	apprentice editor

Music Department
Kevin Benson	....	music supervisor
Vic Caesar	....	music director
Darryl Duran	....	music editor
Irwin Mazur	....	music supervisor

Other crew
Michael Cotura	....	production assistant
Randy Digrazio	....	choreographer
Harry Dunn	....	production assistant
Jon Epperson	....	stand-in
Gregg Fienberg	....	location manager
Ron Hacohen	....	production assistant
Nguyen Kim Lan	....	title designer
Sy Levin	....	location coordinator
Kate McMahon	....	production coordinator
Geof O'Connor	....	production assistant
Nancy Rigg	....	continuity: second unit
Robert Roda	....	production coordinator (as Rob Roda)
Kirsten Welles	....	production assistant
Kathryn Weygand	....	continuity

Production Companies

• Chroma III Productions
• Columbia Pictures Corporation

Distributors

• Columbia Pictures (1984) (USA) (theatrical)
• Anchor Bay Entertainment (2009) (USA) (DVD)
• RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video (1996) (USA) (VHS)

Also Known As:

Runtime:

88 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Certification:

Canada:18+ (Quebec) | Canada:R (Manitoba/Nova Scotia/Ontario) | Iceland:16 | USA:R

Filming Locations:

Big Weenies Are Better - 1717 Wilcox Ave, Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Chroma III Productions

Trivia:

The all-female rock band in the movie, Diaper Rash, was played by the band Vixen, who had a hit in the 80's "The Edge of a Broken Heart".

Goofs:

Continuity: Kimberley sits down on the patio chaisse-lounge twice.

Quotes:

Michelle:Why, Ashby darling, you want romance? Read a novel. You want me? I'm upstairs.

Movie Connections:

Referenced in "Mystery Science Theater 3000: Being from Another Planet (#5.5)" (1992)

Soundtrack:

Lies

The first great beach movie!

Back in the 60's, the Beach movie was a popular genre in the fluff-type of film that was prevalent then, but Frankie and Annette were not the ideal types that looked good in bathing suits (Linda Evans was, though). In the mid-90's, we finally had hunks and babes, but by then, drive-ins were out and these films could only be seen on VHS tape or DVD and a lot of them were awful. In the early to mid 80's we had some knockouts in the female department, but the guys were wiry and geeky. However, with Hardbodies, that all changed, because the lead (Grant Cramer)was a handsome man with charisma, and it ushered equality for both sexes.

Cramer plays Scotty, a typical L.A. drifter with no job, but probably gets by somehow. He has a steady girlfriend named Kristi (the lovely Teal Roberts) but lives in a dumpy apartment that he's way past due on rent. He also has a goofy looking friend named Rags (Courtney Gains) who hangs out with them. The story involves three middle-aged men who come to L.A. to have "philosophical discussions" with the babes of L.A., but they don't know how to approach them. They spot Scotty using his techniques (dialoguing and BBD) on various women and they soon ask him for his help. He refuses their offer of room and board at their swank beach house, but after getting evicted and sleeping under the boardwalk, he agrees to teach them his techniques.

Of course, what prevails afterwards are the typical: beach parties that last until dawn, music, the usual double-crosses, and the eventual plot resolution. Still, it's great fun. The acting is O.K., some are fine, others are gawd-awful. The music is cool (Vixen is in it). The ambiance is fun and the dialogue is fresh. Worth renting on VHS; I doubt it's on DVD, but avoid the sequel; it's a bore.