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Hardbodies (1984)

R | | Comedy | 4 May 1984 (USA)
Three middle-aged daddies visit California to have a marvelous time at the beach. When they learn that a nice apartment and an expensive cabriolet isn't enough for them to score with the ... See full summary »



(screenplay), (screenplay) | 3 more credits »

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Cast overview, first billed only:
Michael Rapport ...
Sorrells Pickard ...
Roberta Collins ...
Cindy Silver ...
Kristi Somers ...
Candy (as Crystal Shaw)
Antony Ponzini ...
Rocco (as Anthony Ponzini)
Marvin Katzoff ...
Dorky Geek
Kip Waldo ...
Head Geek
Michael Miller ...


Three middle-aged daddies visit California to have a marvelous time at the beach. When they learn that a nice apartment and an expensive cabriolet isn't enough for them to score with the chicks, they employ a student to help them. At first he's as disgusted of them and his job as his girlfriend, but soon they find out how to use the situation to everyone's benefit. Written by Tom Zoerner <Tom.Zoerner@informatik.uni-erlangen.de>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


If you don't know what they are, you don't know what you're missing.




R | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:





Release Date:

4 May 1984 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Como Conquistar as Garotas  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


Many movie posters for the film feature the picture's "Hardbodies" title logo formed from squeezing a tube of white suntan cream onto the frontal suntanned hard body stomach of a female hotbody wearing a white bikini two-piece swimsuit with a bra top and panties bottom. See more »


The dog's collar can-holder is only big enough for one beer can, but seconds after the head geek takes the can out, another can magically appears in it. See more »


Rounder: Party party party party!
See more »


References Tarzan the Ape Man (1932) See more »


Hardbodies Theme
Written by John Steele, Scott Kaufman and David Spector
Performed by Krak
(Babaji Music, ASCAP)
Additional Recording and Mixing John Hug
See more »

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User Reviews

'No redeeming social value'!
24 January 2012 | by (Canada) – See all my reviews

Yeah, just the way we like it!

Seriously, I don't understand how it's possible to truly HATE something like this; it's not even that raunchy by the standards set by other 1980's sex comedies. It's just good, upbeat, breezy fun, without any real mean-spiritedness, a lot of good vibes, a generous dose of catchy pop & rock tunes, a nice, warm look, lively performances, and, of course, the opportunity to appreciate the truly attractive ladies in all of their glory. Handsome Grant Cramer ("New Year's Evil", "Killer Klowns from Outer Space") is unambitious slob Scotty, who does have the ability to charm women that a trio of hopeless, middle aged schmucks envies. So they hire him to teach them how to score. Simple enough story there, allowing us to look at all of the pleasing visual attractions and have some good laughs along the way. Girl group Vixen adds to the entertainment value by playing "Diaper Rash" (!), the group in the movie. Cramer is engaging, and Gary Wood, Michael Rapport, and singer / songwriter Sorrells Pickard are amusing as the unlucky guys, especially Pickard, the most likable of the three, who even serenades us with the priceless "I Don't (ahem) Fossils for Free." Courtney Gains ("Children of the Corn"'s Malachai!) is a hoot as Scotty's friend Rag, and the assorted sexy female cast members include appealing Teal Roberts as Scotty's love interest Kristi, Cindy Silver as Kimberly, Kristi Somers as Michelle, Crystal Shaw as Candy, Darcy DeMoss as Dede, Kathleen Kinmont as the roller skater, Marcia Karr as the hardbody on the stairs, veteran actress Joyce Jameson ("Death Race 2000") in a cameo near the end, and 70's exploitation pro Roberta Collins as the older and wiser Lana. And that's the younger Kane Hodder, in his first credited acting role, as the "older geek". They all make "Hardbodies" a pleasure to watch, along with the ability to learn just what the word "hardbodies" and the phrase "Bigger and Better Deal" (B.B.D. for short) mean. In any event, no fan of this sort of thing can fail to notice the plentiful dose of female flesh, and delight in it. In general, this movie is energetic, irresistible stuff, and even got itself a sequel two years later. Eight out of 10.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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This Film Rocksssssssss alexkz-1
Hardbodies will be on DVD for the first time Aug 18, 2009 r41412-1
Old Man Playing the Guitar agubiscayne
Where is the DVD for this movie? jeffman52001
First Use of The Word 'Wuss' In A Major Motion Picture?? hkwalker
Cindy Silver (the girl who played Kimberly Courtney Gains Troyzilla
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