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LONE NINJA WARRIOR is the story of the `famous swordsman' Snowy White (Yeah, now THAT'S threatening name!) who travels with his companion Eagle. Apparently Eagle and Snowy White fought a while back and Snowy White cut off Eagle's left arm. Eagle then vowed to be the one to kill Snowy White but must fend off those trying to kill him so that he can have final crack at putting Snowy six feet under (so why doesn't he just KILL HIM instead of defending him to kill him later?!). At any rate, Snowy also protects a book called the `Book of Heart and Mind' which a clan called the Weirdo Clan (I'm not kidding) is trying to capture. The story begins when a mysterious woman sends Snowy and Eagle letters, the letter to Snowy in the guise of Eagle and vice versa, and tries to get them to fight, so that Eagle may kill Snowy and thus the woman, who works for the Weirdo Clan, can lay claim to the book. However, in the midst of all of this, Snowy and Eagle run into a man named Wild Wolf, who says that Snowy defeated his father in a duel a long time ago and he vows vengeance on him, and that he wishes to kill him in a duel to make up for the disgrace he put on his father. But when Snowy tells Wild Wolf of their intentions to kill the Weirdo Clan Snowy, Eagle and Wild Wolf call a truce until they have all the Weirdoes. The group goes to kill the Weirdoes, they succeed and subsequently Wild Wolf dies and confesses that the reason he didn't kill Snowy White all these years was because `I feared friendship.' And Then there's something about Snowy White's `Lunar 13 Swords' method, that is supposedly some awesome fighting move Snowy uses, but is never really explained. Anyhow, in the end Snowy and Eagle fight and it ends with Snowy sticking his sword in a tree, jumping on his horse and telling him that Eagle is his new replacement as a master sword fighter.Okay, so essentially this movie makes NO SENSE! BUt there are tons of wire-enhanced jumps and fight sequences. Tons of cool blood gushes and squirts from people when they're stabbed. The sound effects are as cheesy as kung-fu movies come (some of them sound like sounds from an Atari game). There are also midget ninja, a woman with long finger-nails (that look like painted versions of that snack food Bugles) who stab men, then drink their blood, as well as this gangly looking man with obviously fake protruding front teeth (I guess he is supposed to some sort of ancient Oriental vampire!), and, finally, men and women who shoots colorful fireworks and smoke bombs to disappear from and evade fights (these are the people from which the majority of the cheesy sound effects come from).I picked up this oddity in Gallway, Ireland in a chain video retailer that looked to be the European equivalent of Sam Goody. The box art (from the release by Moon Stone) is totally misleading. It has a ninja on the front of the box in the typical black ninja pajamas, (with a head band that says, `NIN' on one side of his head and `JA' on the other...In case we didn't know if he was a ninja or not!) in front of it city! The back of the box also has a completely nonsensical description of the movie (calling the protagonist Long White Snow). All in all it's pretty sweet ninja movie, and, although it's horribly obscure, seek it out if you can find it
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