MOVIEmeter
SEE RANK
Up 5,449 this week

The Cartier Affair (1984)

TV Movie  -   -  Comedy | Crime  -  4 November 1984 (USA)
5.5
Your rating:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  
Ratings: 5.5/10 from 91 users  
Reviews: 1 user

Curt Taylor is a convict and owes Phil Drexler the number 1 convict in the prison. Now to settle his debt Drexler sends Curt to be the secretary for Cartier Rand so that he can steal her ... See full summary »

Director:

Writers:

(teleplay), (teleplay), 3 more credits »
0Check in
0Share...

Editors' Spotlight

IMDb at Comic-Con 2014

Follow our coverage of Comic-Con 2014, direct from San Diego July 23-27 in our Comic-Con section.


User Lists

Related lists from IMDb users

a list of 188 titles
created 15 Oct 2010
 
a list of 3148 titles
created 07 Jan 2012
 
a list of 606 titles
created 28 Feb 2012
 
a list of 135 titles
created 17 Jun 2012
 
a list of 3570 titles
created 14 May 2013
 

Related Items


Connect with IMDb


Share this Rating

Title: The Cartier Affair (TV Movie 1984)

The Cartier Affair (TV Movie 1984) on IMDb 5.5/10

Want to share IMDb's rating on your own site? Use the HTML below.

Take The Quiz!

Test your knowledge of The Cartier Affair.

Photos

Learn more

People who liked this also liked... 

Witchery (1988)
Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  

When a storm strands a group on a Massachusetts island where the only dwelling is an old hotel supposedly haunted by the ghost of a former German actress (Knef), the result is the standard ... See full summary »

Director: Fabrizio Laurenti
Stars: David Hasselhoff, Linda Blair, Catherine Hickland
Action | Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.8/10 X  

Baywatch lifeguards Mitch, C.J., Stephanie, Caroline, Matt and Logan travel to Ohau, Hawaii for a much needed vacation and get caught up in a series of mis-adventures. Stephanie teams up ... See full summary »

Director: Douglas Schwartz
Stars: David Hasselhoff, Alexandra Paul, Pamela Anderson
Decadence (1994)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
Director: Steven Berkoff
Stars: Steven Berkoff, Joan Collins, Christopher Biggins
Sins (TV Mini-Series 1986)
Drama | Romance
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

Young Helene Junot witnesses the death of her mother at the hands of Nazis. Separated from her brother, Edmund, by the war, Helene goes to work at the chateau of the Count De Ville. There ... See full summary »

Stars: Joan Collins, Timothy Dalton, Jean-Pierre Aumont
Action
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  

A trio of hapless bounty hunters are recruited by a shady bail bondsman to try to keep a witness in drug trial alive to testify.

Director: Max Kleven
Stars: David Hasselhoff, Linda Blair, Tony Brubaker
Magnum Cop (1978)
Action | Crime | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  

An Italian private investigator tries to get to the bottom of a suspicious kidnapping case with the help of an exotic dancer

Director: Stelvio Massi
Stars: Maurizio Merli, Joan Collins, Franco Ressel
Sci-Fi | Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  

Sleazy scam artist Joan Collins tries to sell phony real estate deals down in the Florida everglades. What she and her unsuspecting buyers don't know is the area has been taken over by ... See full summary »

Director: Bert I. Gordon
Stars: Joan Collins, Robert Lansing, John David Carson
Nutcracker (1983)
Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  

A Russian ballet dancer defects from the USSR, emigrates to England, and joins a ballet company run by a powerful, wealthy lady (Joan Collins).

Director: Anwar Kawadri
Stars: Joan Collins, Carol White, Paul Nicholas
Sharon's Baby (1975)
Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  

A woman gives birth to a baby, but this is no ordinary little tyke. The child is seemingly possessed by the spirit of a freak dwarf who the mother once spurned. Cue a spate of strange ... See full summary »

Director: Peter Sasdy
Stars: Joan Collins, Eileen Atkins, Ralph Bates
Her Life as a Man (TV Movie 1984)
Comedy | Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6/10 X  

To land a sportswriting job on a national magazine run by a chauvinistic editor, an aspiring female reporter convincingly disguises herself as a man to get the inside story.

Director: Robert Ellis Miller
Stars: Robyn Douglass, Marc Singer, Laraine Newman
Making of a Male Model (TV Movie 1983)
Drama | Romance
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  

A young man is enticed by an agent to join her modeling agency.

Director: Irving J. Moore
Stars: Joan Collins, Jon-Erik Hexum, Kevin McCarthy
Pleasure Cove (TV Movie 1979)
Drama | Comedy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  

The story of a posh seaside vacation resort, and the lives and adventures of its guests and staff.

Director: Bruce Bilson
Stars: Tom Jones, Constance Forslund, Melody Anderson
Edit

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Cartier Rand / Marilyn Hallifax
...
Curt Taylor
...
Lyndon Dean
Randi Brooks ...
Shirl
Steve Peck ...
J.J. Phonopolous (as Steven Apostle Pec)
Jordan Charney ...
Ben Foley
Patricia Elliott ...
Margo Houser
...
Morgan Carroll
Rita Taggart ...
Monica
Raymond Singer ...
Raymond
Joe La Due ...
Russ Houser (as Joe LaDue)
...
Phil Drexler
Jay Gerber ...
Arthur
Hilly Hicks ...
Al
...
Wife of fish market / restaurant owner
Edit

Storyline

Curt Taylor is a convict and owes Phil Drexler the number 1 convict in the prison. Now to settle his debt Drexler sends Curt to be the secretary for Cartier Rand so that he can steal her jewels. But he falls in love with her, which complicates things. Written by <RCS0411@YAHOO.COM>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Comedy | Crime

Certificate:

Not Rated | See all certifications »
Edit

Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

4 November 1984 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Cartier Affäre  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
See  »
Edit

Did You Know?

Trivia

The lithograph on Cartier's living room wall, later shot down, is actually of Joan Collins. See more »

Quotes

Cartier Rand: I like what you've done with the room.
Curt Taylor: I haven't done anything to it.
Cartier Rand: Oh. Good. 'cause it's really terrible.
See more »

Connections

Referenced in The West Wing: 20 Hours in L.A. (2000) See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

 
A Very Funny And Romantic Pairing
4 March 2006 | by (Lithia Springs, GA) – See all my reviews

I was quite surprised to find this made-for-TV movie on sale on DVD at Overstock.com Saturday, February 4, 2006 just one month ago, and naturally ordered it, receiving it just over a week later on Monday, February 13. Yet because I had seen it when it premiered on TV back in 1984, I had been in no immediate hurry to re-view it, and had thusly put it on the shelf and forgotten it. Well, Thursday night with nothing on TV but "American Idol" competition, I put it on, and it proved as entertaining as when all of America was introduced to it back then.

In "The Cartier Affair," David Hasselhoff plays ex-con Curt Taylor, who owes the number one prison convict Phil Drexler played by the deliciously slick-tongued and slick-headed Telly Savalas of "Kojak" fame---well, in effect, his life for protecting him in prison. Upon his release, he is given a tip about a job by an associate of Drexler, who steers him to an employment agent who is on the phone with the manager of Cartier Rand, over-the-top TV soap actress played by then-Dynasty soap diva Joan Collins, whose long-stressed secretary had finally snapped and been taken under arrest after shooting up Cartier's mansion and half of her possessions. Cartier, whose love life with long-time lover Morgan, played by the dapper Charles Napier, is as unsatisfying as her job and relationships with sycophant other associates, demands a replacement secretary in a hurry; yet rather than put her trust in another traitorous female, she requests that they send over a 'male.' Morgan, however, insists on a female secretary for his lady love because he is jealous of any other man who looks at her. However, the employment agent, looking for an opportunity to rip off Cartier of her jewels, takes one look at Curt who has just arrived in response to the job tip he had been given, and comes up with a ruse to satisfy them all---he tells Cartier's manager that he has the perfect secretary for her, a man, who is---in a word, gay. So very straight "Knightrider" Hasselhoff is roped into playing gay secretary to very straight Joan Collins, who thinks she'll be able to carry her distance to him off---that is, until he walks in her door, the cutest gay man she had ever seen walking on two legs. And it wasn't that the fabulously youthful Collins looked too old for Hasselhoff in this movie; at a height of---I believe---6'4", David was tall and all, but all gangly arms and legs and looked like had stepped straight out of high school, with his baby-doll smile and too mesmeric eyes for any man to have. With a padded resume that gave him a typing speed of a ridiculously impossible 120 words per minute, David is just there to get the goods on her security system and give them to his employment agent---until he starts finding himself falling for the woman so unlike her actress persona and as much in need of a real friend as he is. Naturally, a romantic pairing with this new employee that Joan herself terms a "gay secretary-turned straight gangster" is inevitable. But as what is wrong in both their lives unravels and is thrown into chaos, aided by the unexpected intrusion of a ridiculous ex-girlfriend of Curt and partner-in-crime played by an outrageous Randi Brooks, Curt and Cartier have to rely on each other to keep alive and exonerate themselves amid a most comical flee from Hollywood by limousine and trek to Mexico by Volkswagen to recover the jewels stolen by the crooked employment agent that is going to breathe life back into the despairing Cartier, having both been written off her soap opera and ripped off by her manager, who has extorted her money and run off with a stiff female associate. And once they have destroyed the bad guys and done just that in an even funnier plane ride finale and Cartier has gotten Curt off the hook with number one prison convict Drexler, the movie ends with the two so similar to each other staring blissfully at the moon under shelter of a cave in the middle of the desert, where they have not the slightest idea of how they're going to get back to Hollywood the next day. But with all the romantic possibilities that lay ahead of them secluded out there alone on a long balmy night---who cares?


9 of 10 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

Message Boards

Discuss The Cartier Affair (1984) on the IMDb message boards »

Contribute to This Page

Create a character page for:
?