Quotes

John Bigboote: Let's go back up to my office and talk about this like two reasonable beings.

Rawhide: Dr. Banzai is using a laser to vaporize a pineal tumor without damaging the parthogenital plate. A subcutaneous microphone will allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain.

Observer: Like, "raise my left arm"?

Rawhide: Or "throw the harpoon." People are gonna come from all over. This boy's an Eskimo.

Buckaroo Banzai: You remind me of someone I once knew.

Penny Priddy: Was she... very beautiful?

Buckaroo Banzai: She was... Queen of the Netherlands

Orderly: Who are you today, Doc? Einstein?

Lord John Whorfin: Lord John Worfin. If there's one thing I hate, it's to be mistaken for somebody else.

Perfect Tommy: Pictures don't lie.

Reno: The hell they don't. I met my first wife that way.

Scooter Lindley: Dad. Dad. Buckaroo's in trouble.

Casper Lindley: Say what?

Lord John Whorfin: Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life.

John O'Connor: They're only monkey-boys. We can crush them here on earth, Lord Whorfin.

Buckaroo Banzai: I've been ionized, but I'm okay now.

Artie: I don't care if you drove through a mountain in Texas. This is New Jersey, and when you play my... when you play my joint, you're just another act. I want some music out'a you characters!

Reno: You want it, Artie? You got it.

Duck Hunter Burt: Gimme some light will ya?

Duck Hunter Bubba: I got two guns in my hands.

Duck Hunter Burt: Put one of them down.

Duck Hunter Bubba: I ain't puttin' the guns down!

Buckaroo Banzai: Is anybody out there not having a good time?

[Pinky Caruthers raises his hand]

Lord John Whorfin: Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

John Ganty: John Valuk is dead, he fell on his head. But perhaps John Parker will get through with our message to Buckaroo Banzai.

John Bigboote: It's not my goddamn planet. Understand, monkey boy?

President Widmark: [reading] "Declaration of War... the short form."

John Bigboote: Put the snot on the track, John O'Connor.

[repeated line]

John Bigboote: BigbooTAY!

SOD McKinley: You are... John YaYa. And you... John Smallberries.

Mission Control: Buckaroo, The White House wants to know is everything ok with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?

Buckaroo Banzai: Tell him yes on one and no on two.

Mission Control: Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?

Lord John Whorfin: Barney, I'm going home... with my overthruster.

Lord John Whorfin: [shouting into a radio microphone] BANZAI! I'LL-A SEE YOU IN-A HELL!

[after crashing through the wall of a factory]

Lectroid: We are not in the Eighth dimension, we are over New Jersey. Hope is not lost.

Scooter Lindley: [pointing an assault rifle at McKinley] Get away from that car or I'll drink your blood!

SOD McKinley: [nervously] What'cha got there, son? That's not... real, is it?

[Scooter turns, fires a shot in the air, and turns back to McKinley]

Scooter Lindley: Get 'em up!

[Buckaroo finishes talking with Penny in jail]

Buckaroo Banzai: Let her out.

Female Prisoner: Hey, me too.

Perfect Tommy: Let her out?

Buckaroo Banzai: That's right, let her out. I'll be responsible.

Perfect Tommy: But she's a killer.

Buckaroo Banzai: No, she's not. Now, let her out and give her your coat.

Perfect Tommy: Why me?

Buckaroo Banzai: Because you're perfect.

Perfect Tommy: You have a point there.

Jack the Orderly: I've come for your tv. You've been using too much juice. Another 10,000 kilowatts again this month. Beats me how an old, homicidal loony can use that much power.

John Parker: [as the pod-ship is in a free-fall] I'm a diplomat! I failed flight school!

Perfect Tommy: [said to Buckaroo] Don't embarrass us.

Lord John Whorfin: John O'Connor, install my Oscillation Overthruster!

Penny Priddy: Uh, Dr. Banzai, you... you forgot your thruster.

Buckaroo Banzai: [smiles] Why don't you hold onto it for a while?

Penny Priddy: [looks at him suggestively as he leaves the room] Anytime...