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(1984–1993)

Quotes

Gina: I only blackmail people who can afford it! I know what I'm doing!

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Gina: I stole his sperm.

Lily: You WHAT?

Gina: You heard me! I don't want to repeat it!

Lily: What - did you follow him around with a little bottle until...

Gina: No, no, no, it wasn't like that! I got a job at a sperm bank where I knew he made a deposit and I simply... made a... withdrawal.

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Courtney: Mason, you look wonderful in your tux.

Mason: But not as lovely as you two ladies. What did you do, Madeline, mug a chandelier on the way in?

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Ted: Oh, come on Julia, haven't you ever been in love?

Julia: Yes. I've also had scarlet fever and the measles. Ask me which one I liked best.

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Lionel Lockridge: The doctor says I'm going to live.

Augusta Lockridge: Am I to be spared nothing?

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C.C.: They ought to call my biography, "The Man Whose Wives Refuse To Die."

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Augusta Lockridge: Laken, I know I raised you to be cheerful and always look on the bright side of things, but forget about all that right now because this is a time of crisis!

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Julia Wainwright Capwell: No, Gracie, you can't push yet! Not 'til the baby's head's out!

Mason: Julia, if the woman wants to push...

Julia Wainwright Capwell: What'd you do, get a uterus for Christmas?

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[Struggling to come up with nice things to say about Gina]

Mason: Well, I never actually saw her pull the wings off butterflies.

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Lionel Lockridge: Let's talk about trust. We used to have that.

Augusta Lockridge: Yes. We also used to have a Studebaker.

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Andrea Bedford: I keep trying to say goodbye to my father, but its like writing in invisible ink, you know? It doesn't take.

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Mason: Someday I think it would be amusing if great historians debated who was worse CC Capwell or Attila the Hun.

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Gina: Mason be nice. Act normal for a change.

Mason: Nice isn't normal for me.

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Augusta Lockridge: [after an earthquake has caught her and husband Lionel during sex in a cave] Darling, did the earth move for you, too?

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Augusta Lockridge: [to Lionel when he's denying anything happened with Eden Capwell on his boat] You are an aging over-sexed fool!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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