Hunter: Ya need a date?
Dee Dee: Yeah. You got somebody in mind who doesn't look like a cop?
Hunter: Uh, wait a minute now. You look more like a cop than I do.
Dee Dee: Hunter, if you looked any more like a cop, they'd give you a TV series where you got to play one!
Hunter: Ya know, this time last year, I got 25 fruit baskets. If I get one more fruit basket, I'm having a sex change operation!
Lloyd Fredericks: It was a setup, and I want a polygraph!
Sergeant Brad Navarro: You shut your mouth, or you're gonna need Poly-GRIP!
Curguyan Consulate General: I must confess. I am totally addicted to your detective shows on television.
Ben: All these years, I wondered who you were, what you were like. I wondered if I was anything like you. I just wanted to know who my father was.
Hunter: Well, now you know. You should also know that you've had a father for the past 17 years. A good man. A man that's loved you, raised you, given you a good home, worried about you. I think that's a pretty good definition of fatherhood.
Dee Dee: This guy is so intelligent, he's having his mail forwarded.
Hunter: Oh, I love smart crooks!
Hunter: Can you imagine what it's like to sit there for two days and answer personal questions about your sex life?
Dee Dee: Yeah, it's like that every time I go to visit my mother.
Dee Dee: So, what did the psychiatrist say? Can Ricky go out and play, or are all his groceries in the same bag?
Dee Dee: Did you hear that gunshot?
Hunter: That wasn't a gunshot. It was a branch that snapped due to the insurmountable weight of the snow which landed upon it.
[Flashing his badge]
Hunter: I've got 16 years behind that badge, Drasso. And if it wasn't for that, I'd pound your head square. Now, you know where I live and you know when I get off. So if you want a piece of me, come on. If you don't, shove off!
Woman: I was expecting a shabby little man in a raincoat.
Hunter: You've got the wrong television show.
Hunter: Captain? Do you know how many officers have been killed because they were too busy firing warning shots?
Dr. Bolin: You truly are a trobuled person.
Hunter: Well, you should be the expert on mental disorders, being as screwed up as you are!