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Twice Upon a Time (1983) Poster

Quotes

Greensleeves: Happy as rats they are. They tap dance not, neither do they fart.

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Fairy Godmother: Call me F.G.M. I hate excess verbiage.

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Flora: Uncle Greenie, where are you?

Greensleeves: Under the door, ya twit!

Rod Rescueman: That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down!

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Scuzzbopper: I'm through with nightmare scripts! I'm starting work on The Great Amurkian Novel! Pulitzer Prize, here I come!

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[Discovering Rod Rescueman has rescued Flora Fauna]

Botch: How did this happen? Where were you, watching reruns again? I don't wanna hear excuses! She'll be back; The Murkworks is in her blood, her sap, her plasma, or whatever she has!

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Rod Rescueman: [Flying in with fanfare] Hello.

The Fairy Godmother: Yes, who are you?

Rod Rescueman: My name is Rod Rescueman.

The Fairy Godmother: And what do I learn from that?

Rod Rescueman: My name.

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Automated feminine voicetrack: Welcome to the Garbagerie. Please follow the happy feet.

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Ralph: "Ok,ok. I'm scared; it's official."

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Ralph: "I got a duck?"

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Rod Rescueman: I'm a super hero!

Fairy Godmother: You're kidding

Rod Rescueman: I'm actually not a full fledged one, I'm on my learner's permit but that's almost as good.

Fairy Godmother: You have a resume, perhaps I could check something out?

Rod Rescueman: Yeah I do, right here. It's a blank piece of paper but it is notarized and it's legal signed.

Fairy Godmother: You've made my day! If only I could give you a little test you could show me that you're capable of doing...

Rod Rescueman: I've got an idea!

Fairy Godmother: Yes?

Rod Rescueman: Why don't you give me a test?

Fairy Godmother: There's an idea!

Rod Rescueman: Thank you!

Fairy Godmother: Let me think of something... Here we go, I though of it so very quickly, let's pretend that I'm a damsel in distress.

Rod Rescueman: You'll be the damsel in distress.

Fairy Godmother: Better me than you.

Rod Rescueman: Well I couldn't rescue myself, that doesn't count.

Fairy Godmother: It really doesn't.

[flies up onto her desk]

Fairy Godmother: OK, to make it a little more interesting I will be a damsel in distress currently on fire.

Rod Rescueman: At this moment, on fire.

Fairy Godmother: Here we go.

[lights a ring of fire around her]

Fairy Godmother: Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire! Oh, help!

Rod Rescueman: This is the test where I show you...

Fairy Godmother: This is where you jump in and do something!

Rod Rescueman: Alright, you're on fire...

Fairy Godmother: Currently!

Rod Rescueman: Excuse me ma'am! Superheros are very polite!

Fairy Godmother: [fire stops blazing] Skip polite, go right back!

[fire starts blazing again]

Fairy Godmother: I now feel molecules charing internally!

Rod Rescueman: Gotchya!

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Fairy Godmother: Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire!

Rod Rescueman: Would you like to be rescued?

Fairy Godmother: [fire stop blazing] More than life itself!

[fire begins to blaze again]

Rod Rescueman: Let me just suck those flames up then!

[sucks flames into his mouth]

Fairy Godmother: My hero!

Rod Rescueman: Thank you!

[blows out flames all over the fairy godmother turning her black and crispy with the top of her wand eventually falling off]

Fairy Godmother: Oh, jeez! This is pain!

Rod Rescueman: Do I get the job, or should we move right onto the shark infested waters test?

Fairy Godmother: I'll give you the job, you'll get out of here!

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Ralph: [looking at pictures of Din] Hey, it looks real nice. Are they friendly at all?

Botch: Oh, they are! They love to be friendly except they rush around so much, they don't have the time to be friendly.

Ralph: The "what" don't they?

Botch: The TIME. They have clocks and watches on their wrists which tell them the time they don't have because they are always rushing. And they think they don't have...

Ralph: Wait, wait, I'm not get... What is "time"?

Botch: Two o'clock, four o'clock, five o'clock.

Ralph: Yes, but there's something that tells them that they don't have something?

Botch: Yeah.

Ralph: It's a clock?

Botch: It's a clock.

Ralph: And they watch it?

Botch: They watch it.

Ralph: And it tells them...?

Botch: The time.

Ralph: That they don't have.

Botch: It's simple, easy. Get it?

Ralph: Oh. Uh... Uh-huh.

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Flora: Uncle Greenie, is it really you?

Greensleeves: Basically it is, yeah.

Flora: You're short and bent!

Greensleeves: I'm short and bent.

Flora: What happened to my Uncle Greenie, the handsome dashing hero?

Greensleeves: He got short and bent. But he's glad to see you nonetheless... come here darling, let me give you a kiss you sweet love!

[sound of kissing]

Rod Rescueman: [enviously] *I* should get short and bent!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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