Memorable quotes for
To Be or Not to Be (1983) More at IMDbPro »

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen: In the interest of clarity and sanity, the rest of this movie will not be in Polish.
Share this quote

Frederick Bronski: If it wasn't for Jews, fags, and gypsies, there would be no theater.
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: All these flowers on a Lieutenant's pay, you shouldn't have.
Lieutenant Andre Sobinski: That's OK. My father is a florist.
Share this quote

[Frederick, Andre, and Dobish are disguised as Hitler and two Nazi offiers]
Lieutenant Andre Sobinski: Heil Hitler!
Dobish: Heil Hitler!
Frederick Bronski: Heil myself!
Share this quote

[of Bronski's performance]
Colonel Erhardt: What he did to Hamlet, we are now doing to Poland.
Share this quote

Lieutenant Andre Sobinski: I loved that picture of you on the farm. You behind the plow. By the way, where was that?
Anna Bronski: In the "Chronicle".
Lieutenant Andre Sobinski: No, I mean where's the farm?
Anna Bronski: Oh, the farm. The farm. Well, that's out of town somewhere... You know, that's where they keep them.
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: Oh, but that's enough talk about me. Let's talk about you. How'd you like me in the first act?
Share this quote

Colonel Erhardt: Mrs. Bronski, Mrs. Bronski, Mrs. Bronski.
Anna Bronski: We're all here.
Share this quote

Sasha: Are you all right?
Anna Bronski: I'm fine.
Sasha: Then why are you on the floor?
Anna Bronski: The Floor? I'm on the floor? I'm on the FLOOR. Well get me up.
Share this quote

Sasha: Enter, Andre Sobinski.
Anna Bronski: Exit, Sasha Kinski.
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: [to her pet dog] Mootkie, we are living in a rat hole.
Share this quote

Frederick Bronski: It's a, it's a, it's a RAT hole.
Share this quote

Nazi officer: You are sitting in Col. Erhardt's chair.
Anna Bronksi: Oh, how silly of me. Ten minutes ago it was my chair.
Share this quote

Colonel Earhardt: Vat do you mean you haven't got proof? Dat is no excuse! Arrezt zem! Vat? Vere? Vy? VEN? From now on, ven in doubt, arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Zen shoot zem and interrogate zem! Oh, you are right, just shoot zem!
Share this quote

Ratkowski: Ravitch, we're doing "Naughty Nazis", not "Naughty Marietta".
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: They say its going to be a really cold winter.
Capt. Schultz, of Erhardt's Staff: I don't know anyzing about zat!
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: Oh look, a piano! With KEYS! And it WORKS!
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: He's world-famous in Poland!
Share this quote

Frederick Bronski: [as Hitler] All I want is peace. Peace! Peace!
[singing]
Frederick Bronski: A little piece of Poland, a little piece of France.
Share this quote

Frederick Bronski: [disguised as Prof. Siletski] Remember, Erhardt, I'm going to see the Fuhrer tonight. Who knows *what* we'll talk about!
Share this quote

[Anne has revealed another group of refugees to Frederick]
Frederick Bronski: More! What are they, Jews or rabbits?
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: [as the Nazis are searching for Sasha] First you invade Poland, then you invade Warsaw, then you invade my dressing room... you people are compulsive invaders!
Share this quote

Anna Bronski: [Anna has just turned down Erhardt's invitation for supper] I never sup after I've dined.
Share this quote

[Sasha puts on his coat to go out]
Anna Bronski: What's that on your coat?
Sasha: Oh, it's the newest fashion in occupied Warsaw. Jews wear yellow stars, homosexuals wear pink triangles.
Anna Bronski: Sasha! How awful for you!
Sasha: [quietly] I hate it.
Anna Bronski: Now listen, they're rounding up Jews. Are they rounding up...?
Sasha: No, no, so far, so good. Now, don't wait up for me. I've got a hot date with another triangle.
Share this quote

[Frederick, disguised as Hitler, bursts in on Erhardt trying to assault Anna]
Colonel Erhardt: [weakly] Heil Hit... Hit... Hit...
Anna Bronski: Hitler.
Colonel Erhardt: Hitler.
Frederick Bronski: Heil.
Anna Bronski: I tried to tell him somebody big was coming.
Colonel Erhardt: Big! But...
Frederick Bronski: Come schatze, ve're late.
[Anna exits, but Frederick turns back to Erhardt]
Frederick Bronski: Vat's your name?
Colonel Erhardt: Colonel Er... Er... Er...
[sticking her head back in]
Anna Bronski: Erhardt.
Colonel Erhardt: Thank you.
Frederick Bronski: Erhardt? Erhardt? Aren't you the one who makes that joke about my becoming... A PICKLE?
[He leaves, slamming the door. Erhardt moans]
Share this quote

[Frederick, disguised as Professor Siletski, has to go to Gestapo Headquarters]
Frederick Bronski: Listen, sweetheart, if I don't come back, then I forgive you for anything that happened between you and Lt. Sobinski.
[He opens the door to leave, but turns back]
Frederick Bronski: But if I do come back, you're in a lot of trouble!
Share this quote

[Frederick has to stall Prof. Siletski while the others rush back to his hotel room to search it]
Frederick Bronski: Just don't keep me hanging much longer, I stink without a script!
Lupinsky: [under his breath] He stinks with a script.
Frederick Bronski: I heard that!
Share this quote

Capt. Schultz, of Erhardt's Staff: [SPOILER] Colonel, Professor Siletski's on the phone!
Colonel Erhardt: Professor Siletski? You didn't tell him he was dead?
Share this quote

Frederick Bronski: Sondheim! Send in the clowns!
Share this quote

Colonel Erhardt: [Referring to Bronski in the next room] Relax, Schultz! Zis iz ze intellectual approach...
Capt. Schultz, of Erhardt's Staff: And what if he's not an intellectual?
Colonel Erhardt: [referring to the two SS officers nearby] Zen zey'll break every bone in his body!
Share this quote

Colonel Erhardt: [referring to Capt. Schultz] I've always suspected zumzing wrong vit a man who does not drink or shmoke...
Frederick Bronski: You mean like our FUHRER?
Colonel Erhardt: Yes... NO!
Share this quote

[Frederick returns home, having succesfully impersonated Siletski at Gestapo headquarters]
Frederick Bronski: I did it! I did it! I gave the greatest performance of my life...
[sinks into a chair and peels off his fake beard]
Frederick Bronski: And nobody saw it.
Share this quote

Frederick Bronski: [Disguised as Siletski] Remember, Earhardt, I'm going to see the Furher tonight - who knows *what* we'll talk about!
Share this quote