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|Index||60 reviews in total|
Undoubtedly Matthew Modine and Phoebe Cates fantasize about the day that the negative of Private School might vanish from the face of the earth, as it surely represents an embarrassing nadir in their careers. I love teensploitation, but this film bottoms out as one of the worst of its kind, making My Tutor look like Ibsen and The Last American Virgin look like Shakespeare. Only the most die-hard fans of character legends like Fran Ryan, Richard Stahl, and Frances Bay should bother with this picture, which also features a thankless part for Sylvia Kristel (as the sex education teacher, naturally). Martin Mull earns the only laughs in a cameo as a pharmacist eager to see that teenagers practice safe sex and good oral hygiene.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I'm surprised this movie isn't in the Bottom 100 list here at IMDb.
This piece of garbage showed up on television late one night, and I
regretted ever watching this movie.
Many of the characters were extremely clichéd and horrible at acting. Bubba is the pervert, Jim is the heartthrob, Miss Dutchbok is the typical headmistress that everyone hates, and so on and so forth. All men in this movie are portrayed as skirt-chasers, perverts, or extremely horny. The female leads are dim-witted, naive, and absolutely pretty. The script was rather unfunny, as much as it tries to be. What bothered me as well was the unrealistic events in the movie. For example, Bubba is caught as a Peeping Tom by his "girlfriend" Betsy. Several times, actually. Betsy calls him a pervert, then decides that maybe they should get back together again, after many examples of him being a complete and utter jerk. Other characters I felt were unnecessary, such as the Sex Ed. teacher. I would've given more stars if her character was used to show how naive these girls were about sex. There are several issues addressed in the movie as well, such as lesbianism, premarital sex, or father-daughter relationships. However, this movie skims all of these issues, and becomes a brainless flick.
Watch it for the nude scenes, but other than that, this is one horrible movie.
If you simply enjoy watching beautiful women, this film is worth a shot. The plot sucks, the characterizations suck, but Phoebe Cates and "the other woman" (I can't remember her name) are worth the trouble of the patience needed to get through the film. The topless ride on the horse, and the strip tease are memorable scenes that have stuck with me over the years since seeing this film some ten years ago. Phoebe Cates is is by far the more gorgeous beauty in the film, but not as titilating as "the other woman," who shows quite a bit more skin--I suppose that is the burden of blondes in our society. The stupid and overweight hijinx of Bubba are quite annoying and can be sped through with no loss of quality. Look for the scenes with the two beauties and you'll do this film whatever justice it was intended when produced.
Is it possible this script was written, produced and directed by a group of thirteen year old boys? There is only one word that sums up this movie: raunchy. Gratuitous nudity, as well as unbelievable characters define this movie. The acting was cardboard and the script seemed to have been ad-libbed. Do not rent this poor excuse for a movie.
Good girl Phobe Cates and bad girl Betsy Russell compete with each other
over the affections of Matthew Modine while attending a private school in
the midst of several sexual hijinks involving there other
This teen explotion flick ranks at the very bottom of the barrell ( and what a deep one it is), it gets a laugh here and there, but it has to be the most moronic movie ever made. It is very poorly done, but Betsy Russell has an undeniable appeal and plenty of sexy moments, especially a scene involving bareback horseback riding.
Rated R; Lots and lots of nudity, Sexual Situations, and Profanity.
Tries to follow in the tradition of Animal House & Porky's but oops, they forgot something: a script. This movie was written for (and probably by) 13 year-old idiots. Such a great cast, what a total waste. As if it wasn't bad enough, the soundtrack is one of the worst I've ever heard. If you are still considering watching this movie for the "hot chicks", just make sure your fast-forward button works. But for everyone else: stay away!
After hearing of this film and being a fan of Phoebe Cates, I wanted to try and see it. The DVD release was shelved and a VHS copy is near impossible to find. However, my friend David told me at work that it was coming on Encore Love(of all the channels)at 3 in the morning. Excited, I tivo'd it and watched it a few days later. Lol, I wasn't expecting anything intelligent, but even this falls below expectations. This film has no plot, terrible acting, and is 90 minutes of incredibly bad cheese. However, there are some nice T&A shots in the film. Betsy Russell in the horseback riding scene is breathtaking and it's nice to get a shot of Cates' bare ass on the beach. Pretty cool soundtrack and always nice to see Ray Walston pop up for a cameo. The ending to this film was funny, but it's also want I wanted to do to the director and writer of this crap.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I think pre-pubescent boys would be one of the few audiences to get a
kick out of this ultra-crappy movie. There's something of a story
(somewhere), but mostly, the entire movie is about three guys (Matthew
Modine, Michael Zorek, and Jonathan Prince) trying to get a peek at the
naked private school girls. Main characters Christine (Phoebe Cates
wasted) and Jim (Modine, also wasted) are making preparations to lose
their virginity. Essentially, this may only be amusing to people who
still laugh at the mention of the word boob or nuts. Major amateur
Hell, if you want an 80s teen sex romp comedy, check out the Martha Coolige directed movie, National Lampoon's: The Joy of Sex. The indication of National Lampoon alone be enough to clue you in that this will be a major stupid humor movie. Amidst the hilarious mix of hormone-raging teens at a high school, main characters (played by Michelle Merrynick and Cameron Dye), never think "it" is going to happen to them. That movie, though still somewhat stupid, is at least much much much better than this sorry movie. I'd recommend not wasting time on Private School.
When I sat down to see this movie, I thought it'll be a great
experience like "America Pie" since it has a promising starting
sequence with a great song performed by "Harry Nilsson". But I was
completely wrong. It's one of the worst sex comedies ever made. (Just
"Private School" tries to make us laugh with very immature jokes. Of course, it has some scenes that can be categorized as "funny". But, when you take this movie as a whole is a disaster!
I recommend watching this movie if you wanna see some nice *tits* cause that's the ONLY good thing about this movie.
There is only one reason for a heterosexual guy to watch this, and it is booty. I can't even keep track of how many half or fully naked girls there are in this flick, and the director obviously did what he could to center on them, in the scenes involving booty. Smart move. Especially since everything else in the movie is so lame. The plot is ridiculous, the pacing is horrible(for a movie that's only 90 minutes, it's astoundingly hard to sit through any scene that doesn't involve naked girls), the acting is laughable at best, the characters are tired clichés and stereotypes, the film is derivative of several, much better teen comedies out there, Porky's being the best example. The humor is bad; I don't think I as much as smirked, even once. The one good thing about the movie is the T&A... and, in a few scenes, there are some decent tunes, too. But the bad music in the movie(this was made in the 80's, after all) far outweighs the good. So, we're left with about 90 minutes of unfunny comedy, which contains between 15 and 30 minutes of booty(scattered mercilessly across aforementioned 90 minutes of pitifully bad comedy), with the rest being worthless and pointless. The dialog is also bad, but not to the same degree as the rest of the film. There is one exchange of lines that was so pathetic that I feel that it is my duty as one of those unfortunate people who has seen this horrid mess of an attempt at teen comedy to warn anyone else of it: "I really didn't like this place, but I was afraid that you did" "Really? I was afraid that you liked it!" That was a paraphrase, since I really can't be bothered to pay close attention to this crap. However, I will have to draw a comparison to a possible real-life situation involving this movie; picture this: a couple has just sat through this ridiculous piece of celluloid not worth the film it's printed on; the guy turns to the girl, and says: "I really didn't like this *movie*, but I was afraid that you did" The girl then replies: "Really? I was afraid that you liked it!" All in all, I can't tell you how many times I've "seen" this movie("seen" as in not really seen, but more like glanced at... I only payed attention to the booty every time since the first time I saw it), but it is a lot. Every time I forget how stinking terrible it is... but I don't forget the reason for watching it. So maybe that's what this movie is... a form of parasite; you know while you're engaged in watching it, that it really sucks, but you just can't help it... but then again, maybe it's just me... or is it? Thoroughly bad film, only worth a glance due to booty. If you have to watch this, either make sure you don't pay anything for it, and, if possible, fast-forward through any scene not involving female nudity. 1/10
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